Coming To Terms With Magic
by TheWritingFairy
Summary: What would have happened had Merlin helped Morgana when she discovered her magic? Could things have turned out differently? Set in series 2 of the BBC television series Merlin.
1. Chapter 1

A thunderstorm raged in the sky above Camelot; the rain pelted to the ground, and the night had become cold. A young man lay awake in his bed, unable to sleep not just because of the noise but because he had a strange feeling. Merlin had experienced many a storm in his short life, yet none had ever felt like this one. Lightening clapped and thunder rumbled, much the same as it usually did during a storm, but this felt different somehow. There was a tingling sensation in Merlin's skin and his hair stood up on the back of his neck. After a while he sighed and tried to shake it off. He was being silly; it was just a normal storm, after all. Putting it down to tiredness, Merlin rolled over so his back was to the window and tried to go back to sleep.

The other side of the castle, a young woman tossed and turned in her sleep, moaning as she did so. The storm went on outside her window but this did not explain why a candle at the side of her bed suddenly lit itself. What might have explained it, however, was the fact that at the very same moment, the woman's eyes shone a bright, unnatural gold. It was very fortunate for the lady that no one was around to see because if your eyes glow golden, it's a sure sign that magic courses through your veins. None of this woke the Lady Morgana and so when her maidservant, Guinevere, came into her room just moments later to offer her more blankets, she did not notice. Guinevere, on the other hand, noticed the lit candle, which she was sure she'd put out on previously leaving the room, and eyed it with suspicion before blowing it out and moving it by the window.

It did not take long for the 'glowing eyes incident' to occur again and this time Morgana awoke with a start. She leapt up, gasping, and her now pale blue eyes found the candle by the curtain. She looked at it, breathing heavily, with a look of plain fear creeping onto her face. It registered that the candle was alight once more and this scared her, causing her eyes to glow again. This time, the candle's flame shot up and caught the curtain. Within seconds, the curtain was fully engulfed in flames and Morgana screamed, the window smashing as she did.

XXX

'Wakey wakey, Sire!' Merlin called, opening Arthur's door with his back as his hands were full carrying a breakfast tray. 'I bought you – you're dressed!' Merlin exclaimed coming to a halt half way across the room.

'I can dress myself, Merlin' Arthur informed his manservant as though he were stupid.

'I never said you couldn't Sire, it's just you never do anything for yourself if you can help it,' Merlin mumbled, only to be rewarded with a pot or something thrown at his head.

'I haven't got time for breakfast, Merlin, and neither have you, ' Arthur added as merlin opened his mouth to protest. 'We need to get to Lady Morgana's chambers. There was a fire in there last night.'

'A fire?' Merlin asked, suddenly curious.

'Yes, Merlin. A fire,' Arthur repeated, already out of the door. 'Come on!' he snapped, clapping his hands for emphasis.

XXX

It appeared the fire had been put out quite quickly as the majority of the room had been left undamaged, however, this did nothing to ease Uther's worrying. Whilst Merlin and Gwen cleared up the mess, Uther and Arthur discussed how the fire could've started. It was clear that nobody could have passed the guards unseen outside Morgana's room so Uther jumped to the conclusion that the fire had been started by magic and ordered Arthur o arrest everybody under suspicion of sorcery.

Merlin, meanwhile, wandered the castle until Arthur finished, looking for something to do. Deciding to help Gaius, he headed towards the physician's chambers. He was about to open the door when he heard voices inside.

'You're the only person I've told about my dreams. I know I can trust you, Gaius.'

'Yes, of course you can.'

'It was me. I set the room alight – I started the fire.' Morgana was sat with Gaius, wrapped in a blanket, visibly shaking. How could she have started the fire? Surely not on purpose…

'I don't understand,' Gaius replied, placing a hand on her shoulder. 'Did you knock a candle over?'

'No that's not what happened,' she answered quickly, shaking her head. 'I did it just…' she hesitated 'by looking at it. The flame suddenly leapt higher.' Merlin's brow creased. If this meant what he thought it meant, Morgana could get herself into serious trouble.

'It could've been a gust of wind,' Gaius tried to reassure her. If he was concerned he was hiding it well.

'No it wasn't. It was me,' she insisted. 'It was magic.' Although she had her back to him, Merlin was sure Morgana had started to cry. And he didn't blame her. If Morgana, the King's ward, had magic… even thinking about the consequences was unbearable.

'My child,' Gaius begun.

'I'm not a child!' she interrupted, obviously getting agitated in her scared state.

'Last night was an accident. It had nothing to do with you,' Gaius stated firmly. 'How could it have? I am going to draw up a remedy that will make you feel better,' he told her, ignoring her protesting whimpers. 'I promise. You must trust me.'

XXX

After walking an hour's distance into the woods, Morgana sat down underneath a tree. What was happening to her? She wasn't sure. Could it be magic? It could but it could also have just been a coincidence. Like Arthur had suggested, lightning could have hit her window causing the fire and she could have imagined the candle flame getting bigger; she had just woken up after all, it wouldn't have been too hard to get confused. So why did she feel so scared? Gaius had completely ignored her claims that the fire was started by magic so he couldn't have been worried. She shouldn't worry either. But what if she did have magic? Worse, what if Uther found out? Ward or not, he'd treat her the same as everyone else – she'd be burned alive. Morgana couldn't help it – the thought of this terrified her and she burst into tears.

XXX

Later that night, Merlin questioned Gaius about Morgana's potential magic but he might has well have been talking to a brick wall for all the good it did. Gaius made it quite clear that under no circumstances was Morgana to know of her true powers and nor was Merlin to help her. But this didn't seem fair. Merlin knew exactly what she was going through, he knew exactly how she'd be feeling because he'd already been through it himself. He knew how scared and alone she'd be and he hated it. Morgana had always been nice to him, nicer than Arthur anyway. He felt that if he could just talk to her, explain, then… oh he didn't know. What he did know was that he couldn't obey Gaius; he couldn't leave her to go through this on her own…

**A/N… Well the stories are just flowing out of me today! I've decided to try a full-length story (shocker, I know – I normally only do one-shots or collabs). The idea for this story just came to me when I was writing a one-shot earlier on this morning. In my ideal world, Merlin would have helped Morgana come to terms with her magic and she would never have turned evil. Besides, they make such a good-looking couple! I can't promise extremely regular updates but I'll try and aim for two a week… Please R&R? I'd really appreciate it and constructive criticism is always welcome, emphasis on the constructive… Hope you enjoy! **


	2. Chapter 2

In Morgana's chambers, the Lady was once again awoken by a nightmare. She looked around her room, hey eyes finally resting on a vase of flowers merlin gave to her, which smashed instantly. This was enough. The terrified woman ran from her bed, through the door and straight to the physician's chambers. He couldn't deny it was magic, not this time. Without bothering to knock on the door, she rushed into the small room to find Merlin tending to what looked like a potion of some sort.

'Where's Gaius?' she demanded, unable to keep her terror out of her voice.

'He's tending to the King,' Merlin informed her. 'What's wrong, Morgana?' he asked. 'If it's a potion you need, a sleeping draught, then I'm sure I can-'

'I don't need a sleeping draught! I don't understand anything,' she sobbed, 'not anymore. I'm so confused, Merlin.'

'You can trust me, Morgana, you know that,' Merlin coaxed. He knew exactly what was wrong, but whether she did or not and whether she'd admit it to him was a different matter entirely.

'What's happening to me… I think… I think it's magic,' she blurted out suddenly after hesitating. Merlin sighed inwardly, almost from relief. At least she knew what was happening, ish… 'Do you believe me, Merlin?' she questioned.

'I er…' Gaius had told him not to get involved. But he couldn't just leave her with this. Damn Gaius…

'Please, tell me you believe me!' she begged, starting to cry. Merlin's head argued with itself faster than the speed of light. Gaius had never gone through this. He didn't know how hard it was to deal with having magic when it was outlawed.

'I believe you,' he told her, half regretting it immediately.

'Thank you,' she sighed, relief flooding her pale features. They stood in awkward silence for a moment or two before Merlin began to shuffle around the work bench.

'Maybe you should go back to your chambers. Try and get some sleep?' he suggested. While it was true he hadn't wanted her to go through this alone, having gotten involved, he was now beginning to wonder whether Gaius was right and he should have stayed out of it. He needed space to think clearly and he couldn't do that with her crying on his shoulder. He looked up to find her nodding slowly. She turned and started towards the door but turned around.

'Merlin? What I said…'

'I promise it'll stay between us,' he reassured her, knowing that was what she wanted. He forced a smile on his face to prove he meant it.

'Thank you,' she replied gratefully, her face showing relief for the second time that night. She closed the door quietly behind her and, once he was sure she'd gone, Merlin sunk down to the bench and put his head in his hands. What had he done? Gaius had told him, no, expressly forbid him from getting involved but he'd just gone and done it anyway. He remembered Gaius asking him, earlier, what made him think he knew better and at the time he'd said he knew better than the physician because he'd been through Morgana's problem; he knew exactly how she was feeling. This was accurate enough but he was starting to wish he'd listened to Gaius; starting to realise that, actually, maybe Gaius did know best.

But Gaius wasn't there, he tried to defend himself. He hadn't seen the fear in Morgana's eyes, hadn't seen the way she wept, clearly terrified of herself. Perhaps if Merlin could merely guide her, point her in the right direction then he could help her without getting directly involved. He thought about the druids; he could send her to them. At least then she'd be able to talk to someone and he wouldn't really be interfering. Yes that's what he'd do. But how would he find them? Oh he could figure that one out in the morning. He needed to rest for he was suddenly tired. He trudged up to bed, knowing he'd have to be up early to tend to Arthur, feeling like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders.

XXX

Morgana slept better that night in the knowledge that she now had someone to turn to. Even if merlin couldn't possibly understand what she was going through, he would listen to her. He didn't accuse her of being stupid or ridiculous and he didn't dismiss her theory as Gaius had done. He believed her. She woke up the next morning feeling slightly better about her predicament.

'Morning, My Lady,' Gwen chirped, bringing a pile of fresh linen into her room.

'Gwen,' she smiled.

'Did you have a better night?' she asked.

'Yes, I did, thank you.'

'Only I came to check on you and you weren't here. I was a little worried…'

'I just went for a walk Gwen,' Morgana explained, not entirely lying. 'I couldn't sleep for a while so I took a stroll around the castle.'

'Is that wise? I mean, the king thinks someone is trying to harm you. Shouldn't you stay in your room where your guards can protect you?'

'I was fine, honestly Gwen. There was no need to worry,' Morgana assured her, moving to her dressing table so Gwen could do her hair. Gwen seemed to accept her explanation grudgingly but did not pursue the matter.

XXX

'Merlin! That's three times you've dropped the cloth. My chainmail will never get cleaned if you carry on with this incompetence!' Arthur shouted.

'Sorry,' Merlin apologised, picking up the cloth.

'You're not still fretting about Morgana, are you? Arthur enquired, eyeing him suspiciously.

'I er… What? No!' Merlin exclaimed, maybe a bit too loudly. The truth was, Merlin was still worrying about the night before, regretting trying to help her more and more with every minute. Arthur raised an eyebrow at him and opened his mouth, probably to tease him, but Gwen walked in.

'Arthur, I – Oh! Merlin…'

'What can I do for you, Guinevere?' Arthur asked gently, a soft smile appearing on his face, much to the amusement of Merlin, who snapped out of his own thoughts.

'Um, never mind,' she mumbled, blushing, 'I can come back later.' She scurried out a lot faster than she'd come in, with her head bowed making it nigh on impossible for Merlin to read her facial expression. He let out a small smirk which did not go unnoticed by Arthur who smacked him across the head with his leather glove. It didn't hurt, but Merlin protested anyway, only to be met with another one. He grumbled, cursing under his breath and went back to cleaning the chainmail, trying to forget about the Morgana situation for the time being.

**A/N… I don't normally write chapters this short. I'm hoping this one and the previous one is just a blip in terms of length. I promise I'll try and make the next one longer, I just don't want to reach the peak of action too quickly, you know? Anyway, hope you enjoy, and please r&r? It'd really mean a lot! **


	3. Chapter 3

'I didn't mean to, I just… Oh you weren't there, Gaius, you didn't see how scared she was!' Merlin protested. He'd told Gaius what he'd done in the hope Gaius could offer some words of advice or help but it didn't look like he was going to get any. 'I did listen to you and I promised myself I wasn't going to get involved. I thought about sending her to the druids but then…'

'The druids! What on earth were you going to send her to them for?' Gaius demanded.

'Well, I thought they could help her. That way I wasn't getting directly involved.'

'Merlin, did I not make myself clear? I told you that under no circumstances was Morgana to be told the truth about her magic. Do you not understand what will happen if anyone finds out?'

Gaius continued to ramble on but Merlin had heard enough. He put down the plate he'd been cleaning and left, ensuring the door slammed shut behind him. Once outside though, he didn't really know what to do. He guessed that most people his age went to the tavern in their spare time but that wasn't really his forte. Instead he decided to walk around the castle, at least he'd get some exercise, if nothing else.

It was late so, apart from the guards, he saw no one on his travels. That was until he passed Morgana's chambers. Despite the late hour, he could see light coming from her ajar door. He paused in the hallway, taking note that the lone guard outside her room had fallen asleep on the floor. He knew he shouldn't but he couldn't help it; curiosity had always been the young warlock's weakness. He found his feet leading him closer and closer to the heavy wooden door and knocking, not wanting to just walk straight in – she was a Lady after all.

'Who is it?' her small voice called from inside.

'It's er, me. Merlin,' he cleared his throat. 'Can I come in?'

'Are you alone?' she asked.

'Yup, just me,' he replied, trying to sound cheery.

'Okay, come in.'

XXX

Once inside Merlin didn't quite know what to say. He didn't really have a purpose for coming to see her, in fact, he'd never intended to see her. He'd simply let his curiosity get the better of him.

'I'm glad you came to see me,' she informed him.

'Oh?' Well, at least he didn't have to explain what he was doing there, for which he was thankful.

'Yes. I er… um… Would you stay the night?' she finally blurted out, her usual confidence nowhere to be seen. Merlin was visibly taken aback and did not have time to try and hide it.

'Stay the night?' he exclaimed. She sat up straighter, sensing his distress and her request.

'I just mean, would you sit with me?'

'No. I can er, I can get Gwen for you?' he suggested, already turned around to leave as quickly as possible.

'NO! Please don't get Gwen!' she shouted. 'You don't understand. What I said, about the magic happening, it's always at night and I can't control it. I can't risk anyone else finding out, Merlin, especially not Gwen. She seems so close to Arthur these days and I just know she'd tell him and then he'd tell Uther and my head would be on the chopping block, or in the flames…' Her chest was heaving as her breathing rate increased. The thought of the consequences of the King finding out about her magic clearly terrified her and, whether he liked it or not, Merlin knew exactly how she felt.

'Morgana, it wouldn't be appropriate. If I were found in your chambers alone with you…' merlin tried one last time to protest, although half-heartedly even he had to admit.

'Please?' she whispered, her eyes beseeching him more than her plea. Merlin sighed and wrung his hands. He gave the door one last wistful look before agreeing and sitting as far over the other side of the room as he possibly could without actually falling out of the window. 'Thank you,' she said, closing her eyes in relief.

They sat and talked for a bit; not about magic, just things in general: life, Gwen's possible feelings for Arthur, what sort of work Merlin did for Gaius, how much of a prat Arthur could be sometimes, etc. But after a couple of hours or so, Morgana's eyelids began to droop until she couldn't keep them open any longer and fell asleep.

Although Merlin was also tired and therefore thankful for the cease in conversation, he now felt a little awkward. He unconsciously reminded himself again of the possible consequences were someone to walk into Morgana's chambers right now and find him there, which wasn't exactly helpful in trying to get him to sleep. So he didn't; instead he sat where he was and watched Morgana sleep.

She looked so peaceful, just lying there. It was a nice feeling, knowing she felt safe with him. She'd gone so far as to call them 'friends' once and maybe there were, although there would have been a time when Merlin may secretly have hoped for more. But not now. He wasn't so stupid as to live in a complete fantasy world; he knew they'd never get together so he gave up on that thought a long time ago. Being friends was fine.

XXX

He sat lost in his thoughts until he noticed dawn beginning to approach. He had to leave but how? Slinking out without even saying goodbye felt a bit rude but he didn't particularly want to waken her either. Eventually he decided he'd have to rouse her. He tentatively advanced towards her large, four-poster bed, unsure of exactly how to wake her. With Arthur, he just opened the curtains and shouted something annoyingly cheery, even gave him a shove sometimes but he couldn't do that to a Lady.

He reached out and gently touched her shoulder.

'My Lady,' he muttered. She stirred slightly but did not awaken. 'Morgana,' he uttered a little louder, shaking her shoulder ever so slightly. She opened her eyes and looked at him for a moment before remembering what he was doing there. She smiled and sat up as he removed his hand. 'I must leave, My Lady. The sun is rising and neither of us wants me to be caught in here.' She nodded; it was still too early for comprehensive speech. Merlin bowed his head and went to the door. He checked outside quickly to make sure nobody was around. The guard was still asleep on the floor as he had been hours ago when Merlin had entered Morgana's room and so Merlin crept off quietly and quickly, headed for the kitchen to prepare Arthur's breakfast.

Spending the night with Morgana probably hadn't been one of his better ideas - although, technically speaking, the idea had been entirely hers – but he felt better somehow, happy to have been of some help. He smiled to himself. Maybe this could work. Maybe he could help her. If all she required for now was someone to talk to and reassure her everything was alright then he could do it, so long as they were both careful. It would all be fine. What possible complications could arise?

**A/N… Two updates in one day? Believe me, no one is more surprised than myself! But anyway… what possible complications could arise? Any ****ideas? I'd like to thank those who've followed me so far, it really gives me the motivation to keep producing chapters. So er, just let me know what you think? **


	4. Chapter 4

Morgana went about her day much the same as usual, only somewhat happier and this did not go unnoticed.

'You're a lot chirpier today, if you don't mind me saying so, My Lady,' Gwen pointed out, clearing away the dishes from Morgana's lunch.

'Am I? Oh. Can't say I'd noticed, Gwen,' she replied, unable to stop herself smiling; that was something she needed to try and get under control. Gwen gave her a knowing look but didn't press the matter any further. 'I think I'd like to go for a walk this afternoon, Gwen, to the market maybe.'

'Would you like me to join you?' she asked.

'If you like,' Morgana smiled.

XXX

The pair strolled about the market for a half hour or so, until Morgana spotted Merlin leaving the physician's chambers across the courtyard.

'I won't be a minute, Gwen,' she informed her maidservant and scurrying away before Gwen had a chance to question where she was going. She walked rapidly to try and catch up with Merlin who was now making his way up the steps to the castle's main door, but came to halt when she saw Arthur emerging from it. He practically ran down the steps and merlin could do nothing but turn on his heel and follow him. Damn Arthur! She couldn't exactly approach Merlin now, not when what she actually wanted to do was request he visit her again that night; she was terrified of being left alone at night now in case something happened and she could trust Merlin to be there for her; she felt safer with him around.

'My Lady?' Gwen appeared behind Morgana making her jump. 'Are you alright?'

'Yes, I'm fine, Gwen. I was just er… this material here,' she began, pointing at the first fabric she could see on the stall, 'I liked it and was wondering how much it would cost to make a dress out of it.'

'Oh, well I can see to that for you, if you'd like?' she offered.

'Okay, thank you,' she smiled and walked off, leaving Gwen to it. Now how was she supposed to get Merlin alone? It's not like they were doing anything wrong per se, it just wouldn't be deemed appropriate which is why she'd didn't want anyone to find out, least of all Gwen or Arthur.

XXX

Morgana was getting dressed ready for supper that night when there was a knock on her door. Gwen finished doing up the back of Morgana's dress and then went to see who it was.

'I'll make sure she knows who they're from,' Morgana heard Gwen say. She frowned; who what were from? Surely, if Arthur had come to give her something, he'd just walk straight in?

'Who is it, Gwen?' she called.

'It's Merlin, My Lady, he's come to give you some flowers.' Merlin…?

'Let him in!' she ordered, maybe a little too excitedly.

'But, My Lady, you're not ready for dinner, I don't think-'

'It's fine, Gwen, I'm perfectly decent, it's just my hair that's not done,' she pointed out.

Merlin walked in, but not too far – he stayed close to the door – holding a bunch of pink flowers, which he promptly held out to her.

'They're lovely,' she thanked him, taking them from his hands, 'May I ask what I've done to deserve them?'

'Oh, you know, after the fire, I just thought… well I… I thought they might cheer you up a bit,' he said, his face showing clear signs of a blush appearing.

'Well, thank you,' she responded, smiling widely. Then she had a thought…

'Gwen, would you be so kind as to go and find me a vase and some water to put these in?' she asked sweetly, indicating to the flowers in her hand.

'Of course, My Lady,' she replied, adding a bow as the left the room, leaving Morgana and Merlin alone. Now she had him alone, Morgana had suddenly become shy; a strange feeling she wasn't really familiar with, for she had always been a confident person, ever since she was a child. Shaking her head vigorously and mentally telling herself to get a grip she opened her mouth.

'Merlin, do you think you could, perhaps, come and sit with me again tonight? I wouldn't ask, only I'm still not sure I can control this… magic,' she stumbled slightly on the word, 'and it would be awful were Gwen to walk in while something was happening.'

'I'm not sure that's a good idea,' he sighed.

'No one comes into my chambers at night apart from Gwen and even she won't if I give her the night off,' she explained, trying to reassure him that they would not be caught. It's not like they were actually doing anything wrong, but they both knew what it would look like were someone to find Merlin in her chambers at night. 'I know it's risky and, like I said, I wouldn't ask, but… Please?' Merlin ran his hands through his scruffy, unruly hair and looked around the room exasperatedly; he was clearly torn.

'Alright,' he conceded, 'but just once more,' he stated firmly. Morgana nodded eagerly, smiling, just happy he'd agreed. She knew he was taking a big risk to help her, but she really did feel better when he was around. She wasn't exactly sure how he was helping her, goodness' knows what he'd actually do if she did accidentally use magic in front of him, but something about him made her feel safe; they were friends and she trusted him.

'I'll see you after dinner then,' he said slowly, obviously still unsure as to whether this was a good idea.

'Yes, see you then,' she answered. Merlin went and Morgana knew she'd be sitting in the hall spending the whole of supper hoping beyond all hope that the young man wouldn't change his mind.

XXX

'I'm going to bed,' Merlin informed Gaius, not long after supper.

'It's a little early isn't it?' he asked.

'I'm very tired,' Merlin answered, 'you have no idea how tiring working for Arthur can be.' This wasn't altogether untrue; if he wasn't cleaning Arthur's boots and chainmail, he was sharpening his sword, preparing his meals, tidying his chambers, changing his bed linen, washing his clothes, helping him train. The list was endless. On top of all that, what with staying awake the night before with Morgana, Merlin genuinely was shattered. Walking up to his room to pretend to go to bed – he hoped that if he went to bed early, Gaius would have no one to talk to and, therefore, would have no reason to stay up so would also retire for the night – Merlin debated not going to see Morgana in favour of getting some much-needed sleep.

Eventually, he decided against it. He'd said he'd go and if he didn't turn up without explanation, he'd be letting her down and that just wouldn't be fair. However, it seemed Gaius has plenty to do other than talk to Merlin. He stayed up for another two hours fiddling with his potions and draughts, making more, labelling them, etc. and so by the time Merlin did manage to sneak out, he was fit to drop.

When he finally reached Morgana's room, he was more than thankful to find the guard outside it, once again, asleep. He shook his head. While he was grateful for now that the guard was completely incompetent, it may not bode well for the future when Merlin was not sneaking into the Lady's room. He knocked before entering, as was polite, and found Morgana pacing back and forth in front of the window.

'Oh, Merlin!' she exclaimed, 'I thought you weren't coming.' Merlin subconsciously took a small step back as looked as though she were about to throw herself at him. Saving them both a great deal of embarrassment, she didn't. Instead she headed towards her bed, leaving the way to her chair free for Merlin.

'Gaius took a while to get to sleep,' he explained. He sat himself down, stifling a yawn.

'You look tired,' she observed. Merlin waved this off, implying he was fine and there was no need for her to worry. 'I'm sorry for keeping you up like this,' she muttered, looking genuinely apologetic from what he could see of her face in the moonlight.

'It's alright,' he assured her. 'I'm just happy to help,' he said, smiling his clumsy smile. She smiled back at him, clearly grateful, before perching on the end of her bed. 'Don't you want to sleep?' he asked, really hoping she would so he could at least get a couple of hours' worth of kip.

'No,' she replied resolutely. 'I want to talk.'

**A/N… I had a bit more trouble with this chapter because I didn't quite know where to take it. I don't really want to throw them into a relationship or anything too soon (if that's where I decide to take it) but I'm running out of other ideas to keep the story interesting.**** Hey, at least this chapter is slightly longer, yay! **** But putting that to one side… I'd like to thank the people who've reviewed, favourite, followed, etc. It's really made me so happy to know that people enjoy what I write. But I'd like to say a really big thanks to 'SorenDevin' whose kind words really gave me the motivation to keep going and get this chapter done, despite wanting to turn the laptop off and forget about it. I hope you all continue to enjoy the story and I'll try and get another chapter done by the end of the week, I promise! **


	5. Chapter 5

Talk. She wanted to talk. He could do that. Talking was fine.

'Would you be scared if this was you? If you had magic?' Morgana asked suddenly after quite a lengthy period of staring at her hands. Of all the questions…

'I suppose so,' he said slowly. He tried to think back to when he discovered his magic, but it was a long time ago and it's not like he could tell her the truth.

'I'm scared,' she told him, but this was nothing new. He already knew she was scared, how could she not be? Magic was outlawed in Camelot and the punishment death. If anyone should find out about Morgana's magic her life would be over.

'I know you are,' he said soothingly, debating getting up to rest a hand on her shoulder comfortingly, but thinking better of it. They hadn't reached that sort of stage yet.

'What if someone finds out, Merlin?'

'They won't,' he replied assuredly.

'But _if_ they do…' she pressed.

'Well then we deal with it,' he promised, regretting the 'we'.

'But Uther would have me killed, surely?'

'Not necessarily.' Merlin tried to sound as though he believed it himself. 'You are his ward after all, Morgana, he loves you like his own child. Anyone can see that.' He knew this was no good. She was right. Should Uther find out, she'd receive a death sentence, and so would he if anyone discovered he knew.'

'I know you're risking a lot to help me, Merlin, but I just want you to know I really appreciate it. I don't think I would be able to cope with all this by myself ; you're a really god friend.' Despite saying all these nice things, she had her eyes completely fixed on the floor, unwilling to look at him, which Merlin thought was strange. He was seeing a new side to Morgana recently and it intrigued him. She usually came across as a very beautiful, confident young woman but he was starting to realise there was something else there. He was seeing a shy, vulnerable side to her and it just made him want to protect her somehow.

He stood up and went to perch on the bed next to her.

'Yes. I am risking a lot,' he agreed, 'but I don't mind. We're friends right?' he asked, nudging her arm, smiling his cute, goofy smile.

'You'd better not let Arthur hear you say that,' she joked.

'He'd kill me,' he stated.

'Yes, he would,' she laughed.

'It's not funny!' he cried, indignantly.

'No it's not,' she agreed eventually.

'In all seriousness though,' she began, all trace of a smile disappearing, 'What should I do?' she asked, finally looking at him with her big, pale blue eyes.

'I think you should take everything each day at a time,' he suggested. He thought this was the best idea. If she took everything as it came, slowly, then they could deal with it, together if need be. 'Maybe you should sleep?' he proposed, gesturing a hand to the other end of the bed. 'You don't want to be tired in the morning.'

'What will you do?' she asked.

'I'll sit over there and leave at dawn again,' he replied.

'Okay.' She got up and walked around the bed to get into it. 'I'll see you in the morning, Merlin.' He smiled in return.

XXX

Merlin awoke the next morning, slightly unsure of where he was. He looked up to see a high ceiling that was not his own. Not moving the rest of his body, he turned his head around slightly to see Morgana not far from hi. This made him sit bolt right up. It would appear he never made it to the chair last night and fell asleep on the end of her bed. Still asleep, she hadn't noticed.

Becoming more alert, he heard voices outside. Gwen was talking to the guard and was about to walk straight in and find the two of them. Panicking he went to hide in Morgana's wardrobe but quickly realised Gwen would go in there to find Morgana's outfit for the day. He searched around the room frantically for somewhere to hide and realised the only other place was under the bed. He dived to the floor, ensuring his feet and hands were covered by the large duvet.

Morgana opened her eyes to see Gwen busying herself around the room, opening the curtains, pulling clothes out of the wardrobe, etc.

'Oh, morning, My Lady,' Gwen chirped, noticing her mistress was awake. Morgana looked around the room, trying the hide her panic as she realised Merlin had not said goodbye. Had Gwen seen them? Was he still in the room? She sat up straighter and almost breathed a sigh of relief when the boy was nowhere to be seen. 'Would you like breakfast here or in the main hall?' she asked.

'Here, I think, Gwen. Thank you.'

'I'll go to the kitchen then,' she said, scurrying off, her skirts flowing around her feet.

Once he was sure the maidservant was gone, Merlin crawled out from under the bed, giving Morgana a shock – she did not expect him to still be there.

'I've got to go, My Lady,' he informed her without giving any explanation as to what he'd been doing under her bed. 'Arthur will get grouchy if I don't bring him his breakfast on time.' Forgetting to bow in his hurry, Merlin ran from the room and sprinted down to the kitchen. He picked up Arthur's tray which had already been prepared and dashed back up the stairs to Arthur's chambers.

'Merlin, do you ever change your clothes?' Arthur pondered, looking merlin up and down as he laid Arthur's breakfast out on the table.

'What? Of course I change my clothes,' Merlin replied.

'Well, you're in the same ones you wore yesterday,' Arthur observed, 'and have you even brushed your hair?' Why was he being so observant all of a sudden? Normally he never really noticed anything about Merlin, other than the fact that he was there to order around. 'You spent the night in the tavern, didn't you?' Arthur asked, looking proud of himself as though he'd uncovered some big secret. What on earth had given him that idea? The tavern wasn't somewhere Merlin frequented very often.

'What makes you think that?' he queried, pouring Arthur's water.

'Don't try and deny it, Merlin, you spent the night in the tavern, hence the reason you haven't changed your clothes. You can't hide anything from me, you know,' he told him, pointing a finger.

'Oh, can't I?' Merlin countered under his breath, too quietly for Arthur, who was now munching away on his breakfast, to hear.

'So, when do I get flowers?' he enquired, unexpectedly.

'Flowers?' Merlin repeated, confused.

'Well it's just you took flowers to Morgana's room the other day. I just assumed they were going to every room in the castle, but I haven't had any,' Arthur explicated, pulling the best mock innocent face he could muster.

'I didn't-'

'-Don't tell me you didn't take her flowers, Merlin, I saw you.' Merlin stood in front of Arthur, unable to come up with a decent explanation. He'd learned that silence was always the best option in these situations.

'I know you think you have feelings for her,' Arthur started, his hands making speech marks when he said feelings, 'but you can't go anywhere with them Merlin. She's the king's ward and you're a manservant. It will never happen.' If there was one thing Arthur could do well, it was being patronising. Rather than arguing that he didn't have any feelings for Morgana, Merlin settled for simply agreeing with Arthur and hoping he'd let it drop, which he did. The truth was though, Merlin wasn't sure how he felt anymore. He'd never had 'feelings', as Arthur had put it, for Morgana before. Sure, they'd always been friends, and Merlin may have seen her in _that way _ for a very brief period of time upon his arrival in Camelot, but not anymore. He knew full well it couldn't happen. So what was he feeling now? Something had changed in him and he wasn't quite sure what…

**A/N… Ooooooh does Merlin have feelings for Morgana? Does he? Does he?! Sorry, a little hyped up over here. I thought I'd mention that recently (well, I say recently, I mean a few months ago) I wrote a collaboration with my wonderful writing partner. It's called 'Poisonous Lines' and it's another Merlin-based fanfic but about Morgana and Gwaine. If you fancy reading it, you can either find it on our joint account which is here: **** u/3626682/HarkinScriptores**** or you can go straight to the story right here: **** s/8216944/1/Poisonous-Lines**** . **

**My writing partner is also a bit of a whizz when it comes to making videos so she made a video for the story, which is really awesome and you can check that out by clicking this link: **** watch?v=BiPA1sCKdcs**** . **

**Thanks! **


	6. Chapter 6

'Where were you last night?' Gaius asked Merlin as soon as he walked through the door.

'Why?' Merlin asked, tiredly. After staying up for two nights in a row (excluding the hour or so's worth of disturbed sleep he'd gotten last night), he was beyond shattered, and training with Arthur hadn't made him feel any livelier.

'Well Arthur came looking for you and-'

'-and you told him I was in the tavern,' Merlin finished for him.

'Well I didn't know where you were, Merlin,' Gaius defended himself, 'I didn't know if you were doing something you shouldn't have been so I just told him you were in the tavern.'

'Gaius! When do I _ever_ go to the tavern?' Merlin exclaimed, exasperatedly, taking his muddy boots off and throwing them to the corner of the room. He'd clean them in the morning.

'Not often, but Arthur believed it, so it's fine.'

'Fine for you, you're not the one who's spent all day 'paying' for being 'in the tavern'!' Gaius raised his eyebrows as if to tell him that's what he deserved for disappearing all night but he didn't say anything, so Merlin took the lack of response as a cue to go upstairs.

'Merlin,' he called just as he reached the top of the stairs. He turned around. 'You still haven't told me where you were.'

'I was with Morgana,' he said finally. He wasn't the world's best liar and he knew Gaius would see straight through him if he tried.

'Morgana? Please don't tell me you were-'

'-No Gaius! Of course we weren't. It was nothing like that, I promise. She wanted someone to sit with her, that's all.'

'Why couldn't Guinevere sit with her?' the older man countered.

'Her magic happens at night and she doesn't want Gwen to find out, for obvious reasons.'

'You mustn't go again, Merlin. The King would have your head if you were caught,' Gaius told him, softening his voice a little. He cared about Merlin, and vice versa, neither of them wanted to see merlin's head on the chopping block.

'I know. I know.' With that, Merlin slipped through his bedroom door and sunk onto his bed. He fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow; he hadn't even gotten undressed.

XXX

This blissful state of sleep, however, did not last nearly as long as Merlin would have liked. He became restless and awoke in the middle of the night, quite unsure as to why. Something about Morgana was worrying him; why was it only now her magic was being revealed to her. Had she always had it? Well, clearly not, otherwise she wouldn't be so scared all of a sudden. She'd obviously been born with it, just as Merlin had, but Merlin had had his as long as he could remember. Something wasn't right though…

He'd have to see the dragon. As much as he hated asking it for help, he didn't really have another option, seeing as Gaius seemed to refuse to even acknowledge Morgana's magic. He snuck quietly out of his room and downstairs, picking up his boots from the corner by the door. He made it outside and down the spiral, stone staircase before putting his boots on; he didn't want Gaius to catch him. He walked through the castle as quietly and swiftly as possible, keeping to the shadows where he could.

As always, there were guards at the top of the stairs that lead down to the cave where the dragon was kept chained up. Turning his eyes to a barrel close by, they glowed gold, causing the barrel to roll off down the corridor. Naturally curious, the guards followed it, leaving Merlin free to take a torch and descend the steps.

The dragon wasn't in sight when he got down there. He moved the flaming torch this way and that, scanning the room as well as his eyes would allow.

'Hello?' he tried. That was good enough. The dragon appeared from below the ledge Merlin was standing on the edge of.

'Ah young warlock. Have you come to let me out?'

'No. I've come for help,' he replied.

'As ever.'

'Not for me, for someone else. A… a friend.'

'Oh,' the dragon smirked, if you could call it that. 'You've come about the young witch, Morgana.' It was not a question.

'She's not a witch!' merlin objected, surprised at the dragon's harsh words.

'She's not to be trusted,' the dragon affirmed, matter-of-factly.

'But she needs help. She's suddenly finding she has magic and she doesn't know how to handle it. She's scared and I don't know how to help her!'

'You mustn't help her. The witch must never know the true extent of her powers –'

'- Stop calling her that!-'

'-or else she will bring about Camelot's downfall.'

'Camelot's downfall?' Merlin asked with a disbelieving look plastered all over his face.

'I mean it, Merlin. You cannot trust Morgana.' Giving Merlin one last stern look, the dragon flew back down to the bottom of the cold, rocky cave, his chain clanging as he went, leaving Merlin stood alone with many unasked questions floating around in his head.

'Come back!' he shouted 'I still have questions to ask you!' But Kilgarrah did not return and so Merlin had to head back to his room in a far more confused state than he was when he ventured out of it. There was no way Morgana could bring down Camelot, not on her own. And why would she even want to? Camelot was her home; everyone she loved resided there. Even though this should have been the most disturbing thing the dragon had said to him, it wasn't. It was true that it had confused him, but he was honestly more annoyed at the fact that Kilgarrah kept calling her a 'witch'. She had magic, yes, but that didn't make her a 'witch'. 'Witch was a horrible word and Morgana was anything but horrible.

XXX

Merlin returned to his room wishing he'd never gone out in the first place. Why did he _always_ let his curiosity get the better of him; it rarely ended well. Now he was just even more perplexed than he had been before because now, not only was he confused about his feelings for Morgana, he was puzzled about what on earth that blasted dragon had meant!

He threw himself back on his bed, reminding himself that he'd need to change in the morning, unless he wanted anymore jibes from Arthur. He didn't think he had the patience for any more of those right now and if he lost his temper with him, not only would he be punished for it, but he'd probably be made to explain why he'd done it and that was something he definitely did not want to do.

He rolled over and punched the pillow, trying to find a comfortable position in his lumpy bed. When he finally got back to sleep his dreams concerned dragons, Morgana and Arthur – not a nice mixture really, especially when all the situations tangled into one. He was seriously going to regret his midnight adventure in the morning…

**A/N… I'm g****etting these chapters written far faster than I expected, so you guys are really going to have a shock when I suddenly lose inspiration and write nothing for weeks… (bound to happen eventually, always does). I know, as many of you have probably noticed, I ****have pinched a couple of scenes from the series and changed a few words here and there but they are vital to the story. So, no copyright infringement intended and all that… I've realised the links I posted in my previous author's note don't work but if you**** really want them then I guess you can just copy and paste them into whatever your preferred search engine is and I'm sure you'll find them. As always, I hope you're enjoying the story. Please r&r? I'd love you too! **


	7. Chapter 7

'Where are they going?' Merlin asked Arthur, carrying far more training equipment than he could handle down the steps from the castle's door.

'Morgana's on a pilgrimage to her father's grave,' Arthur told him. Merlin was surprised Arthur had noticed him actually, because, from what he could tell, the prince was rather busy making eyes at Guinevere, who was saddled on the horse next to Morgana's. Averting his eyes from Arthur to Gwen, it was quite clear that she was returning the look whole-heartedly.

'When will they be back?'

'By nightfall,' he answered, not taking his eyes off of the maidservant as they left. Merlin, on the other hand, was now concentrating on Morgana. She looked rather dressed up to be going horse-riding but then, she was a woman of position he supposed. He sighed; she was incredibly beautiful. As if she'd heard him, or read his mind, she turned around to give him a wide smile before exiting the wooden gates. Witch? He didn't think so, not for a minute. 'Come on, Merlin!' Arthur barked, dragging him right out of his daydream, 'Are you just going to stand there all day?'

'No, sorry Sire, I was just-'

'-staring off into space again, as per usual,' Arthur finished. 'Come on!' The prince gave his manservant a shove for good measure.

XXX

Night fell and Morgana and Gwen had not returned from their journey to Gorlois' grave, nor had any of the knights accompanying them. Although, obviously he couldn't admit it, quietly, Merlin was extremely worried. Had something happened to them? What if something had happened and Morgana had accidentally used her magic?

He followed Arthur who marched to the Great Hall to inform his father of Morgana's disappearance.

'Morgana and her party have not returned to Camelot, there is no sign of her anywhere' Arthur declared.

'Send riders to the outlying villages. I want every guard, every sentry looking for her,' Uther instructed.

'Understood,' Arthur replied, 'I'll fetch them immediately.' He went off to do so, Merlin following quickly in his steps. His heart was racing; he was just as worried as the King, more so, if possible, for he knew more than everyone else. He had other kinds of bad situations running around in his head.

They rode out into the forest, covering her tracks. It was not long before they found the bodies of Morgana's party. They were lying dead on the floor – clearly there'd been a fight of some kind. Morgana and Gwen though, were not there.

'Check to see if anyone's alive!' Arthur ordered the knights, sliding off his horse. Merlin jumped from his too, and scoured the floor. He found a scrap of parchment lying by a dead body that he didn't recognise. He scanned it hastily. It was a ransom note for Morgana. His chest began to heave and it was all he could do not to visibly shake. Someone had kidnapped Morgana and they were holding her to ransom; she was in danger.

'Arthur! It's a ransom note. They've taken Morgana hostage!' Nobody could miss the panic-stricken expression cloud over the Prince's face. The tracks lead off this way, running off in the direction he spoke of before even finishing his sentence. Merlin was quick to pursue him. They ran a little further into the woods but came to a halt when they heard rustling in front of them. Arthur crouched behind a tree, sword out, with Merlin close behind him. Biding his time, he abruptly sprung out from behind the tree, weapon at the ready, only to find Morgana running towards them.

She looked terrible. She was wearing only her night clothes and had a gash to her forehead and chin. Merlin went to run for her immediately but stopped himself; it wouldn't have been appropriate.

'Where's Guinevere?' Arthur demanded. Guinevere? Caught up in his worry for Morgana, Merlin had forgotten Gwen was also missing. But that was beside the point. Guinevere should not have been the first thing springing to Arthur's mind right now! Morgana didn't say anything but began to cry. It was more than apparent that Gwen had not managed to escape their captors.

'Merlin, Morgana can take your horse,' the prince instructed. For once, Merlin didn't object.

'Are you alright?' the manservant whispered, helping the Lady up onto the horse.

'It's just a few scrapes,' she replied.

'I was so worried about you,' he told her.

'Thank you,' she muttered, touching his face momentarily but removing it as quickly as she'd put it there, for Arthur had turned to see what was taking them so long.

XXX

It turned out that Gwen had given herself so Morgana could be rescued, but the king refused to send men to rescue her in return. Morgana begged; Gwen was more than her maidservant, she was her friend, but the King would not budge. Quickly taking Arthur's possible feelings for Gwen into account, Morgana appealed to him instead, however, he sided with his father. Understandably, the woman got herself worked up and merlin didn't blame her, although it hurt him somewhat to see her so upset.

'How can you live yourselves?' she screeched, 'All of you!' Gaius came forward to try and calm her down but she was in hysterics. He guided her from the room and took her back to his chambers to treat her wounds.

After cleaning her head and inserting some stitches, he informed her that he must tell the King she'd been treated and that she was going to be fine; this left her alone with Merlin.

'What happened?' he asked, as soon as the door shut behind the physician.

'Bandits,' she recalled. 'They just appeared out of nowhere, said they were going to hold me to ransom.' Tears started to roll down her pale face.

'How did you escape?' Merlin pushed gently, taking one of her small hands in his, knowing he was pushing it, but she didn't pull her hand away.

'I told them I wanted to bathe. They were complete pigs so I knew they'd jump at the chance to 'guard' me while I undressed. While they watching me, Gwen took the leader's sword and threw it to me. I managed to get one of them but we had to run. Gwen, she fell over and her leg. She told me leave her!' Morgana cried, getting louder as though Merlin had accused her of leaving Gwen behind on purpose. 'So I ran and then you found me and… We can't just leave her to die, Merlin!'

Morgana broke down completely, burying her head in Merlin's shoulder. While all he wanted to do was comfort her, Merlin found he'd suddenly become extremely awkward. Here he was, a simple manservant, with the King's ward holding his hand and crying on his shoulder… He gently, hesitantly, placed his free hand on her head and began to stroke her hair soothingly. Although he wasn't happy about the situation – that would be wrong – he was slightly pleased that it was him she chose to turn to and not Arthur. It was Merlin sat with her, comforting her, no one else.

'Will you help me, Merlin?' she looked up at him, her beautiful face stained with tears and her eyes still watery.

'Help you?' he asked.

'To get Gwen back. I know Arthur will help me if I can just talk to him properly. Will you help me convince him it's the right thing to do?' Merlin smiled. Arthur wasn't really a bad person and, knowing the Prince like he did, knowing his feelings for the maidservant (whether he'd admitted them or not), he knew that he'd already be preparing himself to rescue Gwen.

'Of course,' he promised. 'Let's go get Gwen back.'

**A/N… I know this chapter is really crappy. I don't feel very well so my heart's not really in it but I had nothing else to. Anyway, I promise I'll try and make the next one better, so please don't hate me. I just wasn't to thank everyone again for their kind words, you guys really are the only reason I keep writing. Please continue to r&r, even if it's just to tell me this chapter is awful?**


	8. Chapter 8

Morgana stood in a hallway at the top of a staircase, anxiously awaiting Arthur and Merlin's return, hopefully with Gwen. While it was true, Morgana did not trust the maidservant with the secret of her magic, she was her friend and Morgana didn't have many of those, not ones she could talk to properly, so she longed to have her back safe. Then the realisation that she'd sent Merlin after Gwen hit her. Merlin was her friend too, in fact they were probably the only two friends she had. She'd trusted Merlin with her magic, he was the only one who knew (apart from Gaius, but then he didn't seem to want to acknowledge it) and now, for all she knew, she could have lost him.

The woman had developed quite a fondness for Arthur's manservant. He was kind, honest, trustworthy and he didn't judge her or tell her she was stupid – not that he'd dare – he just listened to her and tried everything he could to help her. She smiled to herself briefly. If she'd known what qualities to look for in a suitor, Merlin's qualities would probably come pretty close. But he was a serving boy, nothing more. Nothing could happen, not while Uther was king, anyway.

'Morgana?' She whipped around at the sound of Arthur saying her name. He was alone, looking more than a little worse for wear. Morgana braced herself for the bad news that Gwen had been killed. 'There's someone who'd like to see you,' he told her, keeping his voice indifferent. Morgana searched his face for some sort of clue as to who it was but his expression was neutral. That was, until Gwen stepped out from behind him.

'Gwen!' Morgana cried, throwing her arms around the girl who also looked worn and bruised. She looked over Gwen's shoulder to thank Arthur but stopped. The look on his face was… well.. if she'd every had any doubts about her adopted brother's feelings for her maid, they vanished on the spot. She grinned, mouthing a thank you at him, but he didn't see; he only eyes for Gwen.

Wait, where was Merlin? Why wasn't he with them?

'Well,' Arthur began, clearing his throat, I'd better go and see where Merlin has got to, he was right behind us when…' he trailed off as he descended the stairs. She breathed a sigh of relief; he was alive, thank god.

XXX

Merlin made sure Arthur was settled back into his room before he left for the night. After he'd finally admitted his feelings for Gwen, it can't have been easy seeing the way she was with Lancelot, even if Lancelot didn't return with them. For what must have been the first time in his life, he actually felt sorry for the Prince. Being in love with someone you can't have, especially if they don't seem to reciprocate that love, hurts a thousand times more than any battle wound.

He walked along the corridors, not bothering to pick up his feet in his tired state, wishing there was something he could do to make Arthur feel better, but he had his own problems. They weren't really all that dissimilar really, if you took out the secret of Morgana's magic; and his own for that matter, but then again, he was used to keeping that secret.

With that said, it should have been second nature to Merlin to be extremely careful with his magic. However, it was only a few days later when the warlock made the mistake of using his magic in the woods. He'd scanned the immediate area for any passers-by and found none so, for nothing more than his own entertainment, he manipulated the smoke from the fire he'd just put out to take the shape of a dragon. He evidently had not checked the vicinity close enough because almost as soon as he'd put his hand down, his eyes just back to their normal colour, a villager appeared out of nowhere and clutched his arm, frightened.

'Did you see it?' she yelped. Merlin's eyes widened in fear. How much had she seen?

'See what?' he asked, trying hard to sound if not innocent then neutral.

'The smoke… You were right by it! How could you not see it?' The woman was getting frantic.

'I didn't see anything,' he responded, keeping his face straight so as to not give anything away.

'It was magic!' she repeated. 'We must tell the King!' Before he could stop her, she ran from the woods to the castle. Damn it! What had he done now?

The woman made it to the castle and, by the time Merlin returned, it appeared Uther had called for a whole audience. She told him what she'd seen and promised she wasn't lying. Merlin's eyes flitted around the room to meet Gaius' suspicious ones. Not wanting to explain himself in the hall, for fear of being caught, he looked away again, shuffling his feet in discomfort. He wasn't entirely certain what, but something made him look at Morgana; she was clutching the arms of her chair so hard her knuckles were turning pale; her chest was heaving and Merlin hoped that no one would look at her and notice.

'Bring in the witch-finder,' Uther ordered. This snapped Merlin right out of his scrutiny of his friend. The witch-finder? Now he didn't know who looked more panic-stricken, Morgana or himself. Gaius nudged his arm in what he must have thought was a calming way, but this did nothing to ease Merlin's worrying.

XXX

How many times, Merlin? How many times must I drill it into your thick skull that your magic is a secret to be guarded with your life? What were you thinking' Gaius rounded on him as soon as they were back in his quarters.

'I wasn't thinking!' Merlin shouted back.

'Well think boy, think!'

'It was just a bit of fun,' he tried to defend himself.

'It was magic and it was seen!' the physician countered.

'I'm sorry, you're right,' Merlin sighed, defeated.

'Well you must hide the book and anything can connect you with sorcery in any way.'

What, now?' he asked when Gaius turned back to look at him.

'Yes, now, Merlin. The man that Uther has sent for, I know him.'

'The witch-finder?' Merlin asked, although, who else would Gaius be on about.

'Some know him by that name,' Gaius said, 'but I know him as Aredian and he's a force to be reckoned with.

'But I'm not a witch. See, no dress or anything.' Gaius' stern expression informed Merlin that now was not the time to be making light of the conversation. 'I'll get the book.

XXX

'Pst.' Morgana was retiring to her chamber for the night when she heard a hissing sound. She turned round momentarily, but saw nothing so she continued on her way.

'Pst, Morgana,' someone hissed again. She whirled around again, her hair and skirts flowing with her. It was dark and she could just make out a face by the door of one of the castle's many spare guestrooms. She frowned, squinting her eyes in an attempt to make out who the face belonged to. It was too dark though, and she didn't want to go any closer to it, in case it were a trap.

'Morgana, it's me, Merlin,' the voice whispered, almost desperately.

'Oh,' she relaxed, feeling silly for thinking he were an enemy. She moved past him into the bedroom, lowering her hood once inside.

'You must lie,' he instructed, before she could manage to get the pleasantries out of the way.

'What?' she breathed.

'The witch-finder. Gaius says he knows him; he's not a nice man, Morgana. You cannot look guilty in any way.'

'But I'm not,' she protested, 'what the woman saw, that wasn't me. I promise!'

'I know. And I believe you,' Merlin replied, in an effort to calm her. The last thing either of them needed was Morgana getting frenzied. 'But apparently, if there is magic in a place, he _will_ sniff it out. You need to just… oh… I don't know.' He threw his hands in the hair, enraged that he couldn't think of a decent plan.

'I can't just 'lie low', Merlin. I'm the King's ward. If I'm not at the front of all this with Uther, if I suddenly start acting strange, people will get suspicious.'

'Okay, okay! But these night-time visits, I can't do those anymore, not while he's here; it's too risky. But I need to be sure that you'll be alright without me there, that you won't use magic.'

'I can't control it though,' she whispered, clearly getting frightened again.

'You can,' he told her firmly. 'Look at me.' He grabbed her shoulders, holding her close to him, closer than he should have dared. 'Look at me,' he repeated, ensuring her eyes were fixed firmly on his before continuing. 'You can control it. Trust me, Morgana. You are a strong, smart woman. You can do this, yes? You can control yourself.'

Her breathing slowed back to its normal pace and she stopped shaking. Without looking away from him, she nodded her head. 'You can control this, yes?'

'Yes,' she answered eventually. 'Yes.'

'Okay. Then go. You can't be caught here with me,' he pointed out.

'But-'

'-go!' Merlin shouted, releasing her from his grip. He smiled at her, realising he might have sounded more harsh than intended. She returned the smile and left, her cloak floating behind her.

Merlin watched after her. He couldn't help the slight sinking feeling in his heart. He couldn't help her now, not with the witch-finder around, yet it was with him around that she'd need him most. Gah! If he hadn't been so stupid. If he hadn't let his guard slip just for a minute, then that woman would not have seen, the witch-finder would not be on his way and Morgana and himself would not now be in grave danger of being found out.

He was more worried for her though. He'd been keeping his magic a secret for long enough to know how to control it and hide it properly. She was new to this and, as much as he wanted to believe she could, he really wasn't sure she'd be able to control it. He'd visited her room at night a few times now and nothing had happened while he was around but that was because, for some reason, his presence kept her calm. It was when she had nightmares that the magic was roused and she didn't have those when she was calm. Now the witch-finder was here though, he was afraid she wouldn't be able to help becoming agitated and the nightmares would start again causing… No. She could do this; he had to believe she could, not just for himself but for her too; he needed to be strong for otherwise she'd fall, and he'd go down with her.

**A/N… For those of you requesting longer chapters, I hope this is more satisfactory. I also hope this is better than the last chapter, although I can't say I've made a miraculous recovery in the past couple of hours so I can only apologise for any mistakes I've made in the chapter.**** I would've put this up quicker, only I am watching series 2 as I am writing and, it's fair to say I was somewhat distracted by Lancelot. In my defence, Santiago is a very, very attractive man… Anyway, please enjoy! **


	9. Chapter 9

Aredian arrived the next evening; typical of a witch-finder to arrive during the storm. It was dark and the rain lashed hard against the castle windows so, when his cart drew up in the courtyard, Morgana and Gwen watching from the window could not see much of him.

'Is that him?' Gwen asked from behind Morgana's shoulder. Morgana didn't need to think before saying yes, she didn't need to go downstairs with Uther to greet their guest to know who he was. Her body filled with a horrible sense of dread as he stepped out of the carriage into the downpour. He raised his head and scanned his new surroundings, his eyes resting on Morgana's window. She gasped. He couldn't possibly see her standing there, not in this weather. But just in case he could, she did not shy away – she could not act like she had something to hide.

Finally, the man dropped his gaze and entered the castle below.

'He's rather creepy-looking,' Gwen uttered.

'Yes, I suppose he is,' Morgana replied, distracted by her own thoughts. Why did he look up at her like that? And why did he stare? Had no one told him it was rude to stare? Especially at a lady like her. She shook this off. He didn't even know who she was yet, he had no reason to be suspicious of her unless Morgana gave him one; something she had absolutely no intention of doing.

XXX

A day went by and the witch-finder did not bother her, so she started to relax. Merlin, on the other hand, was disturbed by Aredian's presence, not least because of the suspicious looks the man kept sending his way. After being called to his guest chambers to answer a few questions, he'd been set free to go, but that didn't stop the witch-finder popping up wherever he went and eyeing him up dubiously. This made Merlin feel like he was constantly doing something wrong which, for once, he wasn't.

He was right to worry. The next morning, Uther called an audience in the hall, demanding all castle residents, servants and witnesses be there. Aredian, it seemed, had discovered who was responsible for the recent acts of sorcery. Panicking inwardly, Merlin looked to Gaius who gave him one of his special 'keep calm and say nothing' looks. He'd already told the hunter what he 'knew' so there was no way he was under suspicion, which just left Morgana. What had she done? Had something happened while she'd been sleeping again? If so, how had the old man found out? He turned his face to her to see her sitting in her chair, wearing the same look of sheer horror that she'd worn when Uther announced he was inviting the witch-hunter in the first place. Oh god, she'd done something…

'The boy!' It was Morgana's expression more than the words that made Merlin fall out of his thoughts and into the present to see the witch-hunter pointing at none other than himself. Oh dear.

'You can't be serious?' Arthur inquired, a look of astonished disbelief adorning his features. 'Merlin?'

'All the evidence points at him, My Lord,' Aredian addressed Uther, ignoring the prince's protests.

'What have you done?' Gaius hissed at him, barely moving his mouth.

'Nothing, I swear,' Merlin retorted.

'If we check his chambers I'm sure we'll find all the evidence we need,' the witch-hunter said, smirking at Merlin.

'What do you have to say to these accusations?' Uther demanded of Merlin.

'I have nothing to hide,' he answered firmly. For he didn't, he had hidden everything when Gaius told him to and they could check his room as thoroughly as they liked – they wouldn't find anything incriminating. They didn't and Merlin was released from the dungeons after only about twenty minutes of being in there.

Although nothing could be proved against him, Merlin knew he wasn't out of danger yet. The witch-finder was still popping up unexpectedly, almost everywhere he went, desperate to pin something on him. Merlin was on his best behaviour though, there was no way he was going to get caught, not by Aredian.

XXX

Over the next week or so, the Lady Morgana did not get much sleep. She compelled herself to stay awake out of fear her magic would do something while she slept. Eventually, it was found out that the witch-finder himself had been the sorcerer. Well, maybe not sorcerer for he had been using poisons rather than spells, but even so, everything had been down to him. Rather than have him killed, (for he had not actually used magic) Uther banished him from Camelot, never to return, meaning both Morgana and Merlin could breathe happy.

XXX

Now, it was common knowledge that something always had to be happening in Camelot and this was to remain to be true. Only a day or so after Aredian's departure, the arrival of a new guest to the village began to cause a stir. The 'guest' was a woman who apparently went by the name of Morgause and she'd caught the eye of many of the young knights.

Morgana had never considered herself to be a vain person, or an attention-seeker, but up until now she had been used to being the main object of the knights' affections so, when word of this Morgause reached her ears, naturally she was curious. She was watching her from a window one sunny afternoon, strolling around the market when she got the strangest feeling that she'd met the woman before. But this couldn't be true, for she was sure she'd never actually seen her before in her life. But that feeling would not go away and it compelled her to do something about it.

She figured Morgause would be staying in one of the guest bedrooms at the castle, no doubt sharing with one of the knights, not that she was prematurely casting aspersions. This in mind, she searched the castle until, finally, she found what she thought may be her room. Morgana knocked but no one answered. The woman stood outside, hesitant to go in. _Oh just do it_ she told herself. _It's not like you're doing anything wrong; you're the King's ward, you have the right to go anywhere you please. _So she entered the room to find it empty. She looked around the room for a bit - Morgause didn't seem to have a lot of stuff – but she was interrupted by someone clearing their throat behind her.

She whirled around in shock to find the woman she'd been looking for standing right behind her.

'I'm sorry, I didn't mean to intrude. I'm the Lady Morgana, the King's ward,' she introduced herself, 'I just wanted to personally welcome you to Camelot.' The darker haired woman – for Morgause was blonde – smiled her best 'I'm an important person' smile.

'I know who you are,' Morgause replied warmly, 'and thank you.'

'That's a pretty bracelet,' Morgana noticed.

'Oh this? My mother, Vivienne, gave it to me when I was very little,' she explained, stroking it, it clearly meant a lot to her. Morgana blinked; her own mother had been called Vivienne. She told herself it meant nothing, shaking her head, she must have looked a right fool suddenly staring off into space like that. 'Are you alright?' Morgause asked, concerned. 'I mean, I hope you don't mind me pointing this out, but you look very pale.'

'I haven't been sleeping well, that's all. Nightmares.' There it was again, that strange sense that Morgana somehow knew this woman. It was even making her tell Morgause things about herself that she wouldn't normally tell people she didn't know. 'Have you been to Camelot before?' she queried. Maybe she'd visited once and that's why Morgana recognised her.

'Once,' she admitted, 'when I was a baby, but I haven't been back since,' she replied, as if she knew what Morgana had been getting at. 'Look, I'd like you to have this,' she held out her bracelet to Morgana.

'Oh no, I couldn't possibly.'

'Please? It's a healing bracelet, it'll help you sleep,' she encouraged.

'No, your mother gave it to you. I have to leave now. Good day.' Morgana walked as fast as possible from the room without wanting to seem rude. What was going on? Why did she feel like she knew this woman so well? There was no possible way she could have met her before. She meandered through the corridors back to her room to dress for supper, deciding that all these strange feelings she was having could be put down to her lack of decent sleep. Yes, that was it. She was just tired and it was making her think odd things. Maybe she should ask merlin to resume his nightly visits; she slept much better when she knew he was sitting with her and, after all, Aredian had gone now so they weren't in as much danger of being caught. She'd catch him after supper and ask him then.

**A/N… I have a feeling this author's note could be a long one; I have a lot to explain. First of all, I know that this is not how the storyline with the witch-hunter ended but this isn't the same story and I didn't want to get caught up in Gaius being accused of sorcery blah blah blah because I didn't think it was vital to THIS story. Also, I know full well this is not how Morgause was introduced in the series but, again, I didn't want to have to go into her fighting with Arthur then himself and Merlin travelling to meet her and finding out the truth about Arthur's mother etc. It wasn't relevant to my story concerning Merlin and Morgana. If, at some point, I think actually it was important then I'll go back and edit it or something…**

**Right, now that's out of the way, I've planned where I'm taking this for at least the next six chapters and I can almost guarantee it's not going to go where you think, not yet anyway. As ever, please r&r, it means a lot and I hope you are enjoying the story. **


	10. Chapter 10

'Can't you take it yourself?' Merlin begged urgently. The last thing he wanted to do was take Morgana a sleeping potion; he would only get roped into staying the night again and it was just too risky these days. After Gwen's kidnap, the security had been almost tripled around the castle; he might be able to make it into her chambers with the sleeping potion but if he didn't make it out again, there'd be trouble.

'Don't be so rude, Merlin,' Gaius chastised him. 'I have a case of cholera to deal with in the lower town. Besides, you have nothing better to do.'

'Isn't it a bit late to be visiting the lower town by yourself? I'll come with you?' he offered.

'No, you'll go and give that potion to the Lady Morgana before she goes to sleep, like I've asked you to,' the old man told him firmly, leaving no more room for debate. 'Well, what are you waiting for?' he asked when Merlin didn't move. 'Go!' He made a 'shooing' motion with his hands.

Merlin stormed from the chambers, doing all he could not to growl in frustration. He figured he should calm down before entering Morgana's chambers – it wasn't her fault after all – and so took the longest way possible to get there. He was a lot calmer when he told the guards (they'd increased to three) outside her room why he needed to go in there and they let him in without any further questions.

'My Lady?' he called. The guards had let him in but he didn't want to just walk in unannounced in case she was changing or doing anything else that women did when they were in their rooms alone.

'Merlin?' she asked. 'Come in,' she said gently, before he'd even had a chance to answer. He moved further into the room to find she was already in bed. She sat up arranging the covers neatly around herself; she was wearing a nightgown but he guessed she was still self-conscious.

'Um, Gaius asked me to bring you this,' he stated, holding the sleeping potion out to her. 'It's your sleeping potion,' he explained when, instead of taking it from him, she stayed where she was, frowning. Even when she was frowning, she looked like a goddess… _Stop it_ he shouted at himself inwardly.

'I know. It's just… I sleep so much better when you're around.' She sounded as though she were asking him to do so.

'I'm flattered, honestly, but it's too risky now,' he muttered, his tone apologetic as he cast his eyes to the floor. He knew she'd loom upset and couldn't bear knowing he'd caused that look.

'But-'

'No, Morgana. You know I can't.'

'But I thought we were friends,' she pouted, her face suddenly sporting an extremely sulky expression. Why did women do that? How could they change their mood _so_ quickly? It really wasn't fair…

'We are friends, My Lady, but do you want us to get caught?'

'It's not like we're doing anything wrong,' she responded, still pursing her lips in a scowl and folding her arms to match.

'Will you explain that one to Arthur?' he asked, eyebrows raised. He took her silence as a profound 'no'. 'I didn't think so.'

'If you won't stay _while_ I sleep, will you at least wait until I _fall_ asleep?' she requested, her pout disappearing as suddenly as it had materialised. Merlin hesitated, his face showing all the signs of planning to refuse. '_Please?_'' she begged. Why did she always get under his skin like this? She knew exactly how to push his stupid buttons. His eyes flitted to her door, the one the three guards were standing right outside of and then back to her. Twice.

'Fine. But _only_ until you fall asleep. Then I'm leaving,' he articulated resolutely.

'Thank you, Merlin,' she smiled extremely widely, making him want to kick himself. He was so easily wrapped around her little finger and that smile told him she knew it. This was the last time he spent any time at night in chambers; it had to be.

XXX

He stood, staring out of the window, waiting for her to drop off; he knew when she was sleeping because her breathing changed – it became deeper and slower. Damn it, he should not know that. He also shouldn't know that she tossed, turned and moaned in her sleep when she was having a nightmare, or that she smiled when she was sleeping peacefully. He really shouldn't know that she smiled when she woke up to see him standing above her, but he did. After what seemed like an age, she sounded like she was asleep, but he waited a while longer, just to be sure. He didn't want to wake her again by moving. Finally he turned around to look at her; she looked so serene. He was positive she was asleep so he moved towards the door but stopped. It was open and someone was standing in it looking in. The servant's heart began to race, pounding against his chest; someone was looking right at him standing in the king's ward's bedchambers.

The person didn't move and Merlin squinted, trying to get a better look at them for it was now very dark, almost pitch black. Form what he could make out, the person had long hair and was wearing a dress; a woman then. Was it a dress? It could have just been a long cloak. The figure tilted their head to one side, clearly also trying to get a better view. If it had been a knight or a guard, surely they'd have pulled out their sword and rounded on him by now…

Merlin stepped forward, unsure of what his next move would be, but the person turned swiftly and ran off down the corridor, their shoes making a loud noise; almost definitely a woman. He vacated Morgana's room to find the guards on the floor: sleep or knocked unconscious, he didn't know. He sprinted after her, hoping to catch up with her and try and find out who she was, maybe explain himself if he thought it necessary. He had no chance though. By the time he reached the end of the passage, she was long gone, whether left or right, Merlin had no idea. He kicked the floor in frustration, regretting it instantly as pain spread through his toes. Who on earth was she? It wasn't Gwen – he knew that much. If it had been Gwen, she'd simply have come in and asked what he was doing. Still not a hundred per cent sure it was a female, Merlin also ruled out Arthur and Uther for the same reasons. One of the kitchen maids perhaps? But then why would they have run? Maybe a villager who'd over-indulged in the tavern? No. None of these would have knocked out the guards. A sorceress? This thought passed Merlin's mind fleetingly. It would have explained the knocked out guards and the funny sensation he was getting…

Something really didn't feel right. Merlin felt as though he were in danger somehow. What didn't seem to cross his mind was why someone was lurking about outside Morgana's room, but when he finally wondered this he realised it wasn't just him in danger – potentially, anyway – Morgana could be as well. Sure, someone had seen him in her room but he doubted very much that they'd gone to Morgana's room looking for _him_. No, they'd gone looking for her and he'd scared them off.

He debated whether or not to go back and tell Morgana what he'd seen, but decided against it. As much as he felt he should protect her, he didn't want to scare her. He decided to tell Arthur in the morning, obviously making up some story as to why he'd been in Morgana's room in the first place. Arthur would know what to do.

Why did Merlin always have to be around when something bad was happening?

**A/N… I'm sorry this chapter has taken me longer to get up than the others and I know it's unforgivably awfully written. My only defence is that I'm still not feeling very well so it's been a struggle to get even this written, well that and the fact that some reviews have made me slightly hesitant about continuing with the story. But for those who've given me such positive comments, I thank you so so so so much, I really do! I promise I'll try and update quicker tomorrow but, I warn you dear readers, it is a grand prix weekend (I'm more than very obsessed with Formula 1) so that alone will be distracting enough but if things go a way I don't like then I will sulk extremely badly and may forget about the story for the weekend altogether… so we'd better hope McLaren don't do as awful as they did last week. Anyway, I doubt you care much for my F1 ramblings so just please r&r? I can't stress enough how much it means to me…**


	11. Chapter 11

Having slept on the events of the night before, Merlin decided that, whoever the person was, they had definitely been looking for Morgana. He was always careful when visiting her chambers at night, ensuring no one followed him, so they couldn't have been looking for him. Although that did beg the question what did they want with the King's ward? Surely if the business had been perfectly amicable then they would not have been sneaking around in the middle of the night, nor would they have run off at the sight of a serving boy.

Now worried for the Lady Morgana's safety, Merlin thought it may be a good idea to keep an eye on her; not follow her so much as just look out for her, make an effort to check she was well. This was definitely a better idea than the one he'd come up with last night anyway; telling Arthur would not be as good an idea as he first thought, after all, Merlin wasn't the best liar in Camelot (despite keeping his magic a secret) and fabricating a story as to why he'd been in Morgana's room while she was asleep in the first place wouldn't come naturally to him. Also, if he did tell Arthur, the prince would no doubt want to question his sort-of sister about it and, seeing as she hadn't actually seen anything, there was a good chance the information of someone lurking outside her room may scare her.

No. Looking out for her himself was the best he could manage right now. At least, until he found out who the person was and what they wanted. This, in theory, was easy enough. However, putting it into practice was slightly more difficult than he'd anticipated. Arthur kept him extremely busy, electing that he and the knights spend the whole day training. The whole day. From straight after they broke their fast until supper time that evening.

Merlin was shattered by the time he slumped down at the table with Gaius to eat and could barely give Morgana a second thought without his eyes dropping. He tried telling himself that he should probably go for a walk, check Morgana was okay, but he was too tired. He tried telling himself that the mystery visitor could call again tonight and, while this thought did disturb him, the connection between his brain and legs seemed to have severed because he just could not stand up and he fell asleep at the table.

XXX

Without Merlin to keep her company and having not heard from him all day, Morgana didn't sleep easy that night. It took her long enough to get to sleep but when she did, she was, once again, plagued by nightmares; always the same one: Her maidservant, Guinevere, sat on Camelot's throne at Arthur's side. This made her restless and she tossed and turned, moaning and even crying until finally she woke with a start. Unsure of why she'd awoken, she looked around the room, sleep still clouding her eyes, before they rested on what looked like a hooded figure at the end of her bed.

Panicking, she rubbed the sleep from her eyes as she sat bolt right up, needing to get a better view but, when she did, there was no one there. She retreated back down under the bed covers slightly, not noticing that she was now shaking uncontrollably with fear. There had been someone there, she was sure of it. Her now very alert eyes scanned the room for any sign of movement or foreign object but there was none. Damn it, why did Merlin choose tonight to be absent? She snuggled further down into the bed clothes, covering her head with them, trying desperately not to think about what had just happened. It was her nightmare, that was all, it was making her mind play tricks on her. There had been nobody there. Eventually, she managed to drop off again…

XXX

'My Lady Morgana? Morgana!' The young woman opened her eyes to see Gwen standing over her looking quite worried. Everything seemed quite hazy and then she realised that, after the 'incident', she'd had the best night's sleep that she'd had in, well, ages; definitely since she'd discovered her magic. 'Did you sleep well?' Gwen asked.

'As a matter of fact, I did, thank you, Gwen,' she replied, moving to get out of bed, however, as she did so, her pillow fell to the floor, revealing an object lying underneath it. On closer inspection, Morgana realised it was Morgause's healing bracelet or, at least, it looked extremely similar to it. She quickly looked to see if Gwen had noticed but her maidservant had her head in the wardrobe, finding a dress for Morgana to wear. She replaced the pillow, planning to do something about it later.

'Here you go, My Lady,' Gwen said, holding out Morgana's favourite green dress. Morgana slipped out of bed and went behind the dressing stand to slip out of her night clothes. She put on the gown and allowed Gwen to lace up the back of it before going to the dresser for Gwen to do something with her unruly hair. 'I'll change your sheets this morning, My Lady,' Guinevere informed her, 'they haven't been done in a week.' Morgana tried to stop her eyes widening in alarm.

'Um no, Gwen, there's no need. They'll be fine until tomorrow; you can do them then ,' she replied, trying to stop her voice from shaking.

'Oh it's no bother,' the maidservant insisted with a smile.

'Honestly, Gwen, tomorrow will be fine,' Morgana maintained through gritted teeth. She tried to control herself for if she became angry, Gwen would know something was wrong and she'd tell Arthur and having him prying about her business was the last thing the young woman needed.

'Okay,' her maid agreed, somewhat meekly, apparently sensing Morgana's slight change in attitude. She said nothing more on the matter and carried on fixing Morgana's hair in silence.

After Gwen left, Morgana rushed over to her bed, thrust her hand under the pillow and pulled out the bracelet. She looked at it, turning it this way and that in the sunlight by the window. She was almost certain it was the same one Morgause had been wearing the other day – the one she'd offered her – and that would make sense; after all, Morgana had just had a great night's sleep.

Would that explain the figure at the end of the bed? Surely not. Morgana could not see why Morgause would sneak into her room in the middle of the night and put the bracelet her mother gave her under her pillow; it just didn't make sense. If Morgause had wanted her to have the bracelet so desperately – and, why she should, was completely beyond the Lady Morgana – then wouldn't she have just offered it to her again? It didn't really become a lady to wander the castle in the small hours and put things under the king' ward's pillow. She'd got it wrong; the bracelet couldn't possibly be the same one. All the same, she'd go and find Merlin. She felt safer when he sat with her.

**A/N… I'm really really sorry. I know this is unforgivably short and, to be honest, crap. I'm not at all happy with it but I've been losing inspiration faster than Seb obeyed multi21 at the weekend (not that I'm taking a dig) so it's taken me three days just to get this written. Really sorry again. I'm going to dedicate this one to my brilliant writing partner, Kim because she's ill and, for some strange reason, she likes my writing. Also, I'd like to mention EllieMJayx whose support has been massively appreciated. R&R? **


	12. Chapter 12

Morgana failed to find Merlin that day but continued to sleep well over the next few days. Whilst she really enjoyed a good night's sleep – and to have two or three in a row was a major bonus – she couldn't help feeling somewhat guilty. If the bracelet had come from Morgause (and Morgana still couldn't quite see why it would have), wouldn't she be missing it? It was from her mother and, from the sound of it, she must have been very fond of her so the bracelet must have meant a lot to her. So why did she put it in Morgana's room? And why did she want to do it without being caught? It made no sense at all to the confused young woman.

Unable to carry all these thoughts in her head, all these questions without answer, for much longer, Morgana resolved to go and confront Morgause. Maybe not confront, that sounded a bit aggressive; she'd go and see her and ask her about her suspicions. With her maidservant not around, there was no time like the present, so Morgana headed off in the direction of the guest chambers Morgause was occupying.

Being used to just walking into any room she pleased, it felt strange to be knocking on the woman's door before entering. She stood outside, nervously, smoothing her skirts for want of something to do.

'Who is it?' a voice called from inside.

'The Lady Morgana,' she replied. 'Can I come in?'

'Of course.' But before Morgana had the chance to push the heavy wooden door, Morgause had already stopped whatever she'd been doing to open it herself and stood the other side with a wide, inviting smile ornamenting her face.

'How can I help you?' she asked, ushering Morgana inside.

'I wanted to ask you something,' Morgana started uncertainly. 'It's a bit silly really but-'

'-You found the bracelet,' Morgause interrupted. It wasn't a question. Morgana was visibly taken aback; she hadn't expected the woman to be so, well, open about it.

'Er, yes, I found the bracelet. It was yours then?' she asked, eyeing Morgause's naked wrist – naked for the bracelet she had worn only a week or so ago was absent. Of course it was, it was sitting under Morgana's bed, where she had put it for now to avoid Guinevere finding it and asking her about it. She didn't think she could cope with another lie at the moment.

'Yes it was,' she told her, her smile not faltering once.

'Why? If you don't mind me asking,' Morgana added, realising she might be coming across as ungrateful.

'I could see you were suffering very much, what with not sleeping,' Morgause explained, 'and I just desperately wanted to do something to help.'

'So you snuck into my room at night and placed it under my pillow?' Morgana retaliated, unable to keep the shock out of her voice. She wasn't angry so much as confused.

'You didn't accept the bracelet when I first offered it to you,' the blonde woman justified. 'Like I said, I just wanted to help.' Morgana looked at the woman in front of her, completely perplexed. While she appreciated the gesture, however bizarrely it was made, she couldn't deny that she was more than a little mystified. Why on earth should Morgause, a woman she barely knows, want to help her? As if she'd read Morgana's mind, Morgause continued to talk, answering her unvoiced question. Sort of. 'We have a lot in common, Morgana Pendragon. More than you may think.'

Morgana didn't like riddles.

'What do you mean?' she questioned, eyeing her wearily, but there was nothing about her body language to suggest she was feeling guilty or uncomfortable in the situation.

'I can help you,' she assured her, managing to baffle the young woman even more, if possible. How on earth could this woman help Morgana?

'Help me how? I don't know what you mean. You don't know anything about me.' Morgana started to become defensive, panicky even. What did this woman know? Was she playing tricks with her? If she was, Morgana would not stand for it. She was the King's ward; she would not be taken for a fool, treated like a mug.

'I know about your magic, Morgana. I could sense it the first time I set my eyes upon you. I understand how you must be feeling. You're Uther's ward. You must be terrified, knowing you possess magic in a kingdom where it is banned. But I can help you, if you'd let me?'

Morgana's chest began to heave up and down and her eyes widened more than she'd thought possible. Morgause knew too much and her panic had rooted her to the ground, unable to move or say anything in her own defence. Morgause said nothing to further her offer, yet stood opposite the nervous Morgana, gauging her reaction.

'I don't know what you're talking about,' Morgana stated, trying her hardest to regain composure. Even she knew, though, that she had not been convincing.

'I can help you, Morgana, if you'd like me too,' Morgause repeated, taking a step closer and placing a calm hand on her shaking arm. 'I have magic too,' she whispered.

'Really?' Morgana asked, stepping backwards to look at her face properly.

'Really.'

'Then you know, you understand, how I'm feeling.'

'You're confused. You're scared. Even secretly a little bit amazed at yourself,' Morgause guessed. Morgana nodded eagerly. She still wasn't completely convinced that Morgause was one hundred per cent trustworthy but, right now, it was unbelievably nice to have someone understand her, more so, offer to help her.

'And you can help me?' she asked quietly, afraid that Morgause would suddenly change her mind and say no.

'I can,' she reassured her, smiling once more. 'Will you let me?' Morgana hesitated. Lord knew what she wanted more than anything was for someone to help her understand herself. Granted she had Merlin and he did make her feel better about herself, made her feel safe and protected, wanted even. To have someone actually help her learn to control her magic, maybe even use it properly, was an extremely enticing prospect. But she knew nothing about Morgause. What if this was a trick? What if she was planning to run straight to Uther and tell him everything? 'You can trust me, Morgana, I promise,' she coaxed. Morgana closed her eyes tightly, a million and one thoughts rushing through her head; this was a brilliant idea; it was a terrible idea; she needed someone to help her; Morgause was tricking her; Morgause was offering to help her.

'Help me,' Morgana breathed eventually. She opened her eyes to see Morgause looking at her intently.

'Of course,' she replied, 'of course. Come,' she ordered, indicating that they sit at the table, 'I have much to tell you.'

XXX

**A/N… Well, I know this isn't exactly much longer than the last chapter, but I am a lot happier with it than I was with chapter 11. Fair warning: I'm going to write the next few chapters or so from Merlin's POV, for suspense's sake… You'll understand as I upload them… Once again, I want to thank everyone for their continued support. You guys are really amazing and I know I must be extremely boring, constantly thanking people, but your positive responses really do mean the earth to me, so feel free to keep them coming! Promise I'll try and make the next chapter longer!**


	13. Chapter 13

Merlin woke up feeling better than he had in a while. He felt slightly guilty for not going to check on Morgana but then she had not asked him too so he didn't feel as bad as he could have. Besides, maybe it was better that they knocked this on the head otherwise his head would probably find itself detached from the rest of his body, eventually. He just hoped that she, too, would see sense and not ask him to visit again, not anytime soon anyway.

So what was to be done about this shadowy person who'd seen him in Morgana's room? He hadn't been murdered by Arthur yet so, clearly, the person had not told Uther of what they had seen. Then again, that probably would have involved explaining what they had been doing there as well and, if they had been doing something they shouldn't – like Merlin suspected – then they'd doubtlessly not want to go into it.

He could keep an eye on Morgana from a distance for a while, just to make sure she was safe and only talk to her when necessary. And maybe alert Arthur to the incompetence of the guards outside her room to ensure her protection at night; he could make up a story for that easily enough. With this in mind, he headed from his room to Arthur's chambers to wake the prince up from his sleep – a job that needed Merlin's full attention; he'd lost count of the number of times the nearest thing to Arthur's hand had found itself flying in the general direction of the servant's head.

XXX

'Wakey wakey Sire!' Merlin sang, opening Arthur's curtains to let in the sunlight which immediately fell upon the prince's sleeping face. He frowned and mumbled something incomprehensible. 'Come on, up you get!' he chirped, as though talking to a child. Arthur sat up, the covers falling away from his well-formed torso, scowling like someone had just taken all his money from him.

'I would ask if you've been drinking but I know that you're always this irritating.'

'And good morning to you too,' Merlin smiled, knowing full well his chirpiness irritated the King's son, especially first thing in a morning.

'Can't you at least find something new to say?' Arthur asked, getting out of bed and walking towards the wash basin which Merlin was now filling with fresh water.

'Up and at 'em?' Merlin suggested. Arthur turned to him, raising his blonde eyebrows.

'Let's 'ave you lazy daisy,' Merlin tried, adding in a light punch to Arthur's arm. It seemed Camelot's prince was not impressed; he folded his arms across his chest, eyebrows still higher up his forehead than was normal.

'I'll just go and get you're breakfast then, shall I?' Retreating from Arthur who looked fit to punch Merlin, he vacated the room to do what he'd said. He returned with Arthur's breakfast tray to find Arthur struggling to put on his shirt. He'd put his arms through first and was having trouble getting his head out. Merlin debated just staying where he was to watch the scene unfold but decided better of it when he realised that when Arthur did manage to get his head through, he wouldn't be best pleased to find his servant laughing at him.

He walked over to him, trying to conceal the amusement in his voice as he offered to help Arthur and duly arranged the shirt so the prince could put his head through it.

'Breakfast,' Merlin said, pointing to the table. Once Arthur was sat comfortably and tucking into his food, Merlin decided to bring up the issue of the guards. 'I went for a walk this morning before coming here to wake you,' he told him.

'Really?' Arthur enquired, his voice full of mock enthusiasm.

Ignoring this, Merlin continued. 'I couldn't sleep, you see. Anyway, I happened to pass the Lady Morgana's room,' he explained, also ignoring the scoff which escaped Arthur's mouth, 'and I noticed the guards were asleep on the floor.' Arthur stopped eating and looked up. 'It's just that if, like the King believes, someone is trying to harm the Lady, then having guards outside her door who fall asleep on the job isn't very practical when it comes to protecting her.'

'No it isn't,' Arthur agreed, scratching his head.

'Well I just thought I'd let you know,' Merlin stated, waving his hand like it was no big deal to him but he took a sneak peak at Arthur; it didn't take a genius to see that his cogs were now whirring. A small part of him regretted mentioning it – he didn't want to admit it but, secretly, he did enjoy his late night meeting with Morgana – but then the bigger part was glad; at least he had a proper excuse now for not turning up when she wanted him to for there was no doubt that Arthur would increase her protection.

XXX

Merlin spent the afternoon in the armoury polishing Arthur's chainmail and weapons so when he finished and left to go and prepare Arthur's supper, he was weary at the least. Not weary enough, though, to ignore the hooded woman hurrying down the steps from the castle's main door. Once down into the courtyard, she kept to the shadows. Merlin stepped back behind what he realised was the stable door, not wanting her to see him watching her. She scuttled off out of the main gate and down towards the forest.

Merlin stayed where he was, slightly puzzled. Unless he was mistaken, that figure looked remarkably similar to the one outside Morgana's room. Oh it was nothing, he convinced himself finally. Nothing to do with him anyway. With that settled, he proceeded to go back to what he was doing when he heard another person rushing down the steps. He poked his head around the door and saw another hooded figure following the last one. Merlin frowned; he knew that purple, velvet cloak; it belonged to Morgana. What on earth was she doing? He stood in the stable torn. He desperately wanted to follow the pair to find out exactly what was going on but he couldn't afford not to turn up in Arthur's chambers with the prince's supper. He definitely couldn't get away with another tavern excuse – not that that's where he'd been last time, but still.

He clenched his hands and screwed his face up in despair. If the first person had been the same as the one who'd seen him in Morgana's room that night, then what was Morgana doing with them? He was bursting to find out, but then, as he'd already told himself, it wasn't really anything to do with him and following his curiosity rarely ended well. Kicking the floor, he settled on leaving it and going to Arthur. At least he couldn't get himself in any trouble that way.

With one last regretful glance in the direction of the neighbouring forest which Morgana and the other person had now disappeared into, he trudged off back to the castle.

XXX

'You're rather quiet tonight, Merlin,' Arthur pointed out. For all his flaws, Arthur was really quite a caring person. Although, sometimes, like tonight, Merlin wished he wouldn't be so observant.

'Am I? he asked. 'I hadn't noticed,' he feigned innocently.

'Hmmm. You don't normally shut up and while all you ever talk is rubbish, I must admit I miss it when you don't.' Really caring. Merlin felt very tempted to throw Arthur's boots at him, which he was sat on the floor cleaning. He'd only done so the day before but it seemed Arthur liked getting as muddy as possible, giving Merlin yet more work to do. 'Have you got something on your mind?' the prince wondered, more softly.

Merlin sighed, feeling slightly guilty. Arthur could be extremely nice when he wanted to be and Merlin didn't like keeping things from him. He'd even go so far as to consider Arthur a good friend, when he wasn't being an clotpole which, eighty per cent of the time, he was. 'Nothing that won't sort itself out,' he replied eventually, not looking up from the boots; Arthur had an annoying habit of knowing when he was lying.

'Come on,' he coaxed, clearly not willing to let it drop that easily. 'You can talk to me, Merlin.'

The serving boy shook his head, forcing a smile. 'It's nothing, really.'

'Okay,' Arthur agreed reluctantly. 'Why don't you go home?' he suggested.

Merlin nearly dropped the now clean boots in shock. Arthur could be nice, granted, but this was just unnatural.

'But I haven't cleaned your dishes,' he protested although he couldn't figure out why he should be protesting.

'They can wait until morning. Go and rest.'

Merlin puckered his brow. Why was Arthur being so nice all of a sudden? It was weird. The again, it may never happen again so he should probably take advantage of it while it lasted.

'Are you sure?' he enquired, regretting his question for fear the prince may suddenly change his mind again.

'Yes! Go! Before I think being nice is a bad idea.' Arthur practically shooed him away with flapping hands.

Merlin strolled back to Gaius' chambers thinking it might be a good idea to tell him what he'd seen earlier in the day, regarding Morgana and her 'unknown friend'.

**A/N… I did warn you that I may end up losing inspiration and, I regret to say, that I think I have which is why the chapters aren't flowing as fast as they were when I started the story. Sorry. But it's the Easter holidays now so I'll try and get them done slightly quicker, although, I am going to have to spend most of my time revising for A-levels. Er, yeah, so, hope you're still enjoying!**


	14. Chapter 14

Merlin's room in the physician's quarters was situated at the front so, when he was looking out of the window that evening, he could see the courtyard. More specifically though, he could see anyone entering the castle through the main door from the courtyard. One such person, that evening – which was surprisingly light for the time of year – was the king's ward. Presumably returning from her earlier visit to the forest with the other woman – for Merlin had now figured out it was a woman due to her figure and the jewelled cloak – she was scurrying under the cover of the shadows back to the castle.

The young warlock immediately jumped down from the window, preparing to rush to Morgana's room to ask her where she'd been but then remembered his promise to himself: he wouldn't interfere with things that had nothing to do with him and this had nothing to do with him; getting involved wouldn't lead anywhere good.

He felt a pang in his heart despite himself; he cared for Camelot's ward dearly and hoped she wasn't getting herself into anything bad. Deep down he just wanted to protect her, help her as much as he could but he wasn't stupid. He wasn't naïve anymore; he knew it wasn't possible for two people of such different social classes to be friends the way they had been. It was, to be honest, illogical. No, he'd have to just leave her be.

XXX

The manservant was out in the market the next day with a list of herbs to find for Gaius. He walked around for a bit afterwards, just to see if there was anything he needed, or wanted, to get for himself. He was just debating purchasing a small bit of fabric to make a new neckerchief from when, in his peripheral vision, he spotted something. It was a cloak; the same jewelled cloak belonging to whoever Morgana had been with yesterday. His curious instincts kicking in once again, he watched the person from behind. He had been right – it was a woman – for down the back of the cloak trailed locks of blonde, wavy hair, far too well looked after to belong to a male.

The person moved surprisingly gracefully for someone whom Merlin knew to sneak about at night. He cocked his head to the side, paying her every move a great deal of attention. Instinctively, and almost without noticing what he was doing, the boy found himself trailing the woman, although he did have enough sense to stay behind stalls where he could, to avoid being seen. In fact, he followed her from the market, up the castle steps, through the corridors, up a flight of stairs, all the way to one of the guest wings within the Camelot's fortress.

The only person he knew of staying as a guest was a woman called Morgause. He'd heard the knights talking about her in training and, from what they were saying, she was more than slightly attractive; a proper lady. Now, it did not become a lady to sneak about the castle at night, so there was very little chance it could be the same person. However, he was now more determined to get to the bottom of this than ever. So much for not interfering; it would appear that was well and truly out of the window, as it were.

XXX

There was a feast in the Great Hall that night to mark the merging of the autumn and winter seasons. Merlin could see Morgause sat among some of the knights and he had absolutely made it his mission to find out more about her.

'Who's she?' he asked Arthur as he poured the prince more wine, trying hard to sound casual.

'The blonde woman sitting with Percival and Leon? Oh that's Morgause,' he replied, picking up his refilled goblet.

'Any particular house?'

'Not as far as I know. Why, are you fancying your chances, Merlin?' Arthur smirked, unable to stop himself eyeing the woman in question appreciatively. Not for long though. Gwen walked past the high table with an empty jug of wine, probably off to the kitchen to refill it, and gave Arthur an extremely big smile, far too big to be 'just friendly'. Merlin's reply of denial was completely lost on the prince as he quickly turned his attentions from Morgause to Morgana's maidservant. He returned her smile all too eagerly and did not hear a word his own servant said.

Merlin made some sort of 'tutting' noise and tried to turn his attentions to Morgause. He was now almost one hundred per cent certain she was the same woman he'd seen entering the forest ahead of Morgana. As for what was going on between the two of them, on the other hand, he had no idea. He didn't like it though; he had a bad feeling about it. True, Morgana was having to be more secretive than usual what with her magic but that didn't explain her secret voyage into the forest and it certainly didn't explain her surreptitious relationship with Morgause.

'Merlin!' A clap on the back from Arthur bought him out of his ponderings. 'My plate?' he pointed towards his cleared plate, indicating Merlin remove it from in front of him.

'Of course, sorry Sire,' he mumbled, taking the plate from him as quickly as possible without dropping it – he'd done that before and it was beyond embarrassing – and heading off towards the kitchen with it, passing Gwen on her way back.

XXX

'What do you know about Morgause?' Merlin asked Gaius later on that evening when they were back in their quarters.

'Morgause? Um, not a lot, why?' Gaius answered slowly.

'No reason. She's just become very popular with the knights, that's all. I was wondering if you knew anything about her, where she might come from, etc. It doesn't matter,' he added when he noticed Gaius looking at him suspiciously. 'And she's been hanging around Morgana a lot,' he informed him, wondering what he'd think of it but not wanting another lecture on the dangers of being friends with the Lady.

Gaius snapped his head up, far faster than the old man should have been able to. 'Morgana?' he asked. 'Why?'

Now it was Merlin's turn to look suspicious. While it was true he'd been worried about Morgause and Morgana's relationship, it was clearly a much larger concern to the physician. 'I don't know,' he replied, eyeing the white-haired man closely as though this would gain him more information. 'Is there a problem?' he asked when Gaius began to frown hard.

'No,' he replied distractedly, 'I just need to see the King. I won't be long.'

'Oh.' That was a quick turn-around. 'Do you want me to come with-'

'No. You stay here, Merlin.'

'Okay,' Merlin responded, holding his palms up. What was wrong with Gaius? He rarely ever snapped at Merlin, even when he thought he was being stupid.

Gaius left swiftly and Merlin did debate following him but thought better of it. Whatever was wrong, if he'd wanted Merlin to know, Gaius would have told him. It was more than obvious something wasn't right though and it had something to do with Morgana and Morgause. Drat, Merlin hated his curious streak sometimes.

**AN… Gosh Merlin and his curious streak! It gets him into some sticky situations, eh? ****Okay, I'd really like you guys to help me with something: I'm not sure whether or not to bring Freya into the equation or not. I never originally intended on doing so, but some people expressed their interest in me bringing her in. I understand that she was a big part of Merlin's life in the series and it is the series I'm basing my fic on, only I've been researching the actual legend and she never existed. In fact, Nimueh was recorded to be the Lady of the Lake. Anyway, please let me know what you think, whether you'd like me to include her not. Like I said, I never originally planned on doing so**** because I never particularly liked her and Merlin as a couple**** (I know I'm probably the only person who thinks that way)**** but, if enough people really, really want me to then I'll think about it. I'm not going to write another chapter until I'm sure about whether or not she's going to be included because, if she is, then it'll be round about nowish. Anyway, sorry for such a long author's note but some feedback on this issue would be helpful. As usual, I hope you're enjoying the story!**


	15. Chapter 15

Merlin sat in his chambers where Gaius left him, doing nothing really other than twiddling his thumbs, mulling over everything that had happened. In short: Morgana had magic, Morgana was scared, Gaius instructed they ignore it, Merlin ignored him, Merlin comforted her, risking his life to do so, Kilgarrah thought she was dangerous, Merlin decided visiting her at night was a bad idea, she befriended Morgause, this worried Gaius. In even shorter: Merlin's curiosity had landed him in a sticky situation. Again.

He rested his elbows on his knobbly knees and placed his head in his hands. What had he gotten himself into this time? Not that he needed to have gotten himself into anything; he could walk away from this situation at any time. However, his inquisitiveness didn't want to allow that. It wanted him to find out exactly what was going on.

Knowing it was a bad idea, and completely against his better judgement, Merlin found himself rising to his feet; feet which carried him out of the door, down the spiral staircase, across the courtyard and into the castle. He was going to see Morgana, just final time, to find out what was happening between her and Morgause. He reached her corridor to find that telling Arthur had done exactly what he'd suspected: the guards had been tripled and getting into the Lady's chambers unseen was going to be a lot more difficult than he was used to.

Standing still for a moment, he scanned the surrounding area, wondering how he could create a diversion. For once, there were no barrels on the floor or torches on the wall for him to send flying. Damn. So he did the only other thing he could think of: he went back to Gaius' chambers, praying that the physician had not returned, and picked up the first bottle he could find that would pass for a sleeping draught.

He returned, carrying said bottle, and walked straight up to the guards.

'I have a sleeping draught for the Lady Morgana,' he informed them. 'It's from the court physician,' he added when they looked at each other and then back at him curiously. One of the guards took the bottle from him and held their torch up to it to inspect it. Merlin wasn't entirely sure what was in the bottle but he knew full well it was not a sleeping draught – it was a different colour to the one Gaius usually produced. He could only hope that the guard wasn't educated enough to notice.

The guard handed the bottle back to him, nodded at the others, then told him he could go through. He knocked on Morgana's door.

'Who's there?'

'It's Merlin,' he called back.

'What do you want?' she asked. He frowned, unable to help himself. That was strange; normally she'd let him straight in.

'I have a sleeping draught from Gaius,' he explained. He heard her huff the other side of the door before she finally let him in. as he entered, she looked behind him to check there was no one else there.

'I have no need of a sleeping draught,' she informed him before he could talk. He looked over her and realised she was wearing her outside cloak. Where was she going at this time of night?

'Okay,' he conceded, putting the bottle back in his pocket. He'd obviously disturbed her. 'Where are you going?' he enquired casually.

'Nowhere,' she replied sharply. She stopped, presumably realising she sounded too harsh. 'I've just returned from a walk with Gwen.' Merlin couldn't help but eye her suspiciously.

'I see. I was wondering –'

' –You should probably be getting back,' she told him, walking towards the door to hold it open for him. He was quite taken aback. What was wrong with her? He knew he was a serving boy but he had honestly thought they were friends; she'd even said it herself on a number of occasions. So why was she being so cold and snappy towards him now? And why did she want rid of him so quickly?

'Of course. Sorry to have bothered you, My Lady,' he apologised before going through the opened door and back down the corridor. He glanced back to see the bottom of her scarlet cloak disappearing down the adjoining corridor. While he desperately wanted to follow her – because she'd plainly lied to him – he couldn't; the guards would become suspicious and that was one scuffle he could do without.

As he wandered back to his room, he racked his brains, trying to remember whether he had done something to upset Morgana. Had he not turned up to one of her planned night-time visits? No, that couldn't be it. They'd mutually agreed to stop those for they were becoming too risky. As far as he could tell, all he'd done was be there for her, comfort her when she needed him, no more, no less. He'd certainly not done anything to offend her that he could remember, definitely not on purpose anyway.

He exited the castle and strolled across the courtyard to get back to the physician's quarters but something made him stop. So stop he did and he looked around the enclosure to see the back of Morgana vanishing through the village gates, going into the forest again, no doubt. This really wasn't right. Without thinking, he proceeded to follow her.

'Merlin!' someone greeted him, scaring him silly.

'Leon,' he gasped. 'You gave me a fright.'

'Sneaking around at night are we? Off to see a woman I expect, eh?' the drunk knight joked, elbowing him. Leon had evidently just left the tavern.

'You caught me,' Merlin replied, trying to sound cheery too.

'Well, have a good night, Merlin!' Leon winked, clapping the manservant on the back, far too hard, before staggering off, presumably back to wherever he lived within the castle.

Merlin stretched, clicking his now rather painful back and looked to where he'd last seen Morgana but, as he'd expected, she was nowhere to be seen. He kicked a nearby wooden pillar in frustration. Damn Leon. He stayed in the spot where he was, unsure of what to do next. Should he go to the forest and find her or should he forget about it and go to bed? As it happened, he didn't need to make that decision; Gaius made it for him.

'What are you doing, Merlin?'

He turned around to see Gaius limping down the steps.

'I was just, er, going home,' he lied.

Gaius frowned. 'Home is the other way,' he pointed out.

'Yeah, I was coming back from the tavern,' he fabricated, 'and I dropped something.'

'You dropped something?'

'Mhmmm,' he nodded. He really was the world's worst liar.

'Have you picked it up now?' Gaius had a bemused look on his face – he obviously didn't believe a word Merlin was saying.

'Yes I have,' he smiled, showing his teeth.

'And you were on your way back home?' Gaius asked, now standing right in front of him.

'I was,' Merlin agreed.

'Well come on then, we can't stand here all night,' Gaius instructed, hobbling off in the direction of his lodgings; Merlin had no choice but to follow. He waited for Gaius to get a little way ahead of him so he could send one more backwards gaze at the forest. He didn't really expect to see Morgana coming out of it but, stupidly, he had the tiniest bit of hope. His common sense was proven correct though and she did not emerge from the trees.

'Merlin, what are waiting for?' Gaius had turned around to see Merlin still stood where he'd found him and he was getting impatient.

'Nothing. Sorry. I'm coming now.' He practically ran to catch up with Gaius and they walked back to their rooms in silence.

**A/N… Okay, I haven't 100% decided whether or not I'm going to include Freya but, at the moment, I'm strongly thinking not. I've already explained that I didn't like them as a couple and, if I d****idn****'t like them together, I won't ****enjoy**** writing them and that'll probably come through. Why don't I like them as a couple? I think they fell in love far too quickly, or at least Merlin fell in love with her too quickly. I know he had a soft spot for druids but I think he was just looking for someone even remotely similar to him and that was the only reason he 'fell in love with her' when he found her. With regards to my story, I don't really think she has anything to do with it and she'd just get in the way of the plotli****ne involving Merlin and Morgana and it would just end up like I was writing two different stories that had nothing to do with each other.**** People have suggested having Morgana comfort Merlin after Freya's death but, to be honest, considering she had no idea about Freya, I don't think she would. Anyway, I know I'm stalling a little bit but I have big plans and I didn't want all the action to happen too soon. I promise it'll liven up in the next few chapters or so. As ever, I thank you for your continuing support, it means the world to me. **


	16. Chapter 16

Try as he might, Merlin could not get to sleep that night; there was far too much going on in his head and he just couldn't settle. The thought of Morgana in the woods plagued him terribly. He assumed she was meeting with Morgause again, but why there? After all, they both had rooms in the castle, why didn't they meet in one of those? The castle was much warmer, much safer, less private maybe? Was that the problem? If so, what on earth were they talking about that was so secret, that they had to vacate the castle to do so?

Another thing though, the thing that disturbed him the most, was that, forgetting the fact she was with Morgause, Morgana was out in the forest at night; anything could happen to her! He knew it shouldn't really be his problem but Merlin couldn't help worrying about her. Despite the way she'd treated him earlier on in the evening, he cared for her deeply and would be beyond dismayed should anything happen to her, especially if he could stop it.

He strongly thought he should get up to go and find her but, for once, his better judgement took over and told him not to. He couldn't stay tossing and turning in bed though. Maybe it was time to see the dragon again; hopefully he'd be more helpful this time.

XXX

'Young warlock, you do choose the most irritating hours to come and see me,' Kilgarrah greeted him, barely lifting his head. Merlin waved the torch around the cave; he'd woken the dragon up but then he knew he was going to before he arrived – not many people were awake in the small hours of the morning, human or otherwise. 'I assume you've come seeking my help?'

'I guess,' Merlin answered, although it hadn't really been a question. He felt a bit awkward now.

'As ever,' the dragon sniffed. 'And are you going to give me anything in return?'

'Like what?' Merlin asked, even though he knew exactly what was coming.

'Oh, I don't know… You could, perhaps, let me out?' Kilgarrah suggested.

'You know I can't do that, not yet,' he replied, genuinely sorry. The dragon did help him a lot and he could never give him the one thing he wanted in return – freedom.

'Then you'd better tell me what you want then leave me to sleep,' the creature snapped.

'It's about Morgana,' Merlin mumbled, now not really wanting to talk to Kilgarrah anymore.

'The witch,' the dragon smirked. 'What about her?'

'I'm not really sure, I'm just worried about her,' the boy admitted.

'How so? Has she done something with her powers?'

'Not exactly. Well no. But I'm concerned she might.'

'Go on,' the dragon encouraged, although his tone of voice was far from encouraging, in fact, he sounded extremely bored.

'She's been spending a lot of time with someone, sneaking off into the forest with them…'

'A male?' the dragon enquired. 'Are you jealous?'

'No! Not a male. And of course I'm not jealous!' Merlin snapped. He was regretting his decision to see the damn animal more and more by the second.

'Then who?'

'Morgause,' he sighed.

'Ah! I wondered how long it would be before the sorceress turned up.' Then the dragon did something completely unexpected – he laughed. Very loudly. Merlin stood in front of him, more than a little perplexed. He wasn't seeing anything funny about the situation at all. He stood on the ledge impatiently, waiting for the dragon to finish with his obscure laughing fit. Eventually, the dragon's hilarity subsided and he sat quietly awaiting Merlin's response.

'Morgause is a sorceress?' Merlin queried. The dragon nodded it's large, scaly head. 'So she's bad news?'

'You could say that.'

'Does Morgana know she's a sorceress?'

'Probably.'

'Then I have to do something,' Merlin stated, more to himself than to Kilgarrah.

'Merlin, what will be will be. The witches cannot be trusted, I have told you this before. The destiny of the kingdom rests on your shoulders and if you let your heart rule your head then Camelot will fall.'

'But you told me that before,' Merlin protested. 'So Camelot will fall whether I get involved or not?'

'As I said, what will be will be.'

'Stop talking in riddles!' Merlin shouted, getting wound up, but it was lost. A snore erupted from the great dragon; he'd gone back to sleep. Merlin cursed under his breath before leaving to ponder on this new information, if it could be called that.

XXX

The young sorcerer sat back on his bed, more confused than ever. The only thing he'd cleared up was the only thing he really already knew – Morgause was definitely bad news. What this meant, on the other hand, and what he could do about it, he had absolutely no idea. He couldn't exactly walk up into Morgana's chambers and say 'Hello, My Lady! By the way, your new best friend is up to no good and you shouldn't spend any more time with her'. No.

He couldn't talk to Gaius either, not properly anyway and definitely not without being told off by the older man. And he categorically could not go to Arthur about this one. Definitely not. So what was he to do? All these rhetorical questions, if he was honest, he was very fed up of them. For once, Merlin was starting to see the appeal of the tavern. He guessed it was somewhere to go to forget all one's troubles. He'd never much fancied losing himself in toxic drinks but, right now, it seemed like a fantastic idea. Despite telling himself this, he just wasn't one to drink so, no matter how appealing it seemed, he didn't go for it.

Instead, he resolved that he was going to, somehow, keep a much closer eye on Morgana; follow her if he could to find out a bit more about the situation. Then maybe, just maybe, he had a chance of getting her back from Morgause's grasp. If he could just find out what she was doing with Morgause – and he was sure whatever it was, it couldn't be good – then perhaps he had a chance of talking her round.

XXX

The next evening, there was another feast in the great hall; whatever for this time, Merlin wasn't entirely sure. As Prince Arthur's manservant, Merlin spent most of the evening at the high table with the prince, not eating, just serving, but it was fine. It was perfect actually, to get a good view of Morgana to observe her behaviour. Throughout the evening, he noticed many things, the main one of these things being the fact that she and Morgause kept sneaking glances at each other. If Merlin didn't know better – which he did – he would've thought they were flirting. He momentarily wondered if they were communicating telepathically but pushed that out of his mind – it was impossible.

Another thing was that whenever Uther spoke to her, touched her arm or did anything, really, an irritated expression would come over her beautiful face; it did not suit her at all and it most certainly wasn't like her - she loved the King like her own father and usually hung on every word he said. On one such occasion, her eyes scanned the room, possibly to check no one had noticed her sudden change in mood, and she caught Merlin's own blue eyes. Aware now wasn't the time to be upsetting her by being inquisitive, Merlin smiled a warm, friendly smile which he realised as he did it, was sort of reserved only for her recently. It was not returned, however. If anything, he could have sworn she scowled at him but, within the blink of an eye, she'd turned her head back to face the rest of the crowded room.

Never mind puzzled, Merlin was now a touch upset. They were friends, weren't they? He knew he'd told himself this many times but it was true and friends didn't scowl at each other, or snap at each other for that matter, he thought remembering the night before. After everything he'd done for her, the way he'd risked his own life just to comfort her when she needed it, why was she now treating him so coldly? What had he done to deserve it? Nothing immediately sprung to mind.

If he had no self-control, he'd have asked her what her problem was right there and then. But, luckily for both her and him, self-control was one thing Merlin did have and so he kept his thoughts to himself. God knows he wanted to know though. What she was doing wasn't fair; it just wasn't fair at all.

The movement of heavy chairs dragging across the stone floor brought Merlin back to the land of the living. It appeared supper was over and everyone was leaving for the night. He trailed out of the hall after Arthur, like normal, but looked backward as they went. Well that was strange… Morgana had already disappeared and, no surprise, so had Morgause. Oh no, that couldn't mean anything good, not by a long-shot. It wasn't exactly hard to find out where they'd gone. Morgana's icy, unfriendly expression from earlier re-entered his mind and that was the final straw. After tending to Arthur, Merlin was going to find out exactly what was going on.

**AN… I'm starting to become rather unhappy with this story. I feel I'm being extremely repetitive and slow and I think that's starting to show in what I'm writing so I'm really sorry for that. If, by some miracle, you're still enjoying then do feel free to let me know via that little box down below… it'll make me a bit happier at least. Oh, and it's officially decided, Freya will have nothing to do with the story so, if you really like her and think you won't enjoy the story without her then please, also feel free to just not give me any grief about it, it's my story. Thanks.**

**And thank you to 'Narnianofcairparavel', 'EllieMJayx' and 'SorenDevin' for your continued support, it means the earth to me and more, honestly it does. **


	17. Chapter 17

By the time Merlin returned from serving Arthur, Gaius still wasn't back – he was probably with the King – so Merlin took his opportunity to sneak off. He waited at the bottom of the stone staircase leading to the physician's rooms, hiding behind the wall, ensuring the courtyard was clear before he ventured out. It's not that he was doing anything wrong, exactly; he wasn't even sure why he was sneaking about but, for some reason, he felt he should be.

When he was sure the space was empty, he ran from where he was out, across the ground, and over to the other side so he could travel in the shades. He reached the gates to the village and had a thought: what if Morgana hadn't actually gone to the forest? Just because she'd disappeared, it didn't mean she'd gone out into the woodland. She may have just gone to bed. He felt bad for thinking the worst of her all of a sudden. But then Morgause had vanished as well. Oh bother. He carried on heading towards the trees. If he didn't find her, then he'd be happily proving himself wrong.

He walked for a while, ducking and avoiding overgrown branches here and there before he heard voices in the clearing to his left. He closed his eyes in sorrow and his heart plummeted to the floor; it looked like he was not going to prove his suspicions wrong after all.

'You look well,' Morgause spoke, taking Morgana's hand. He assumes she was referring to Morgana's difficulties in sleeping which, if she looked well, she was clearly overcoming.

'Thanks to you,' the raven-haired woman replied. Wait, what? Gaius was the physician, the one giving her sleeping draughts, so why was her improved condition due to Morgause? 'I wear it all the time,' Merlin heard her continue. Wear what? 'I can't remember when I last had a bad dream.' Merlin stood on his tiptoes, making sure he was still well-hidden behind a tree. Morgause was still holding Morgana's hand, but she was holding it up into the light and Merlin could see the glint of a bracelet on Morgana's wrist in the moonlight and Morgause was stroking it gently.

'You do not seem happy,' Morgause pointed out, her serpent-like voice suddenly full of concern. Merlin was taking a real dislike to the sorceress. 'Why is that?'

'I would be, if I didn't have to pretend,' Morgana stated slowly. She had her back to Merlin so he could not see her face, thus he had no idea what she meant nor any way of working out. Did she mean pretend she didn't have magic? If so, he knew exactly how she felt, but it didn't make him unhappy so to speak. But then again, she didn't know that.

'Pretend?' Morgause asked. So she had no idea what Morgana meant either.

'That I am Uther's loving ward,' Morgana spat, coldly. Merlin was so taken aback that he almost audibly gasped, 'when I hate him.' Merlin started at the floor, frowning, his head consumed with thoughts. What on earth was going on? Uther had taken Morgana in, treated her and lover her like his own and, as far as he and everyone else knew, she reciprocated that love one hundred per cent. How could she possibly hate him? He tried to focus his concentration back on the scene in front of him and found Morgause – whose face he could see – looking about as confused as he felt. But only for a moment. This expression was soon swapped for a cunning one.

'Have you ever imagined a new world, Morgana? One where Uther was no more…' Merlin did not like where this was going. She walked around Morgana as she spoke, causing Morgana to turn around so Merlin could now see her face.

'Sometimes,' Morgana admitted quietly.

'And is that what you'd like?'

'I once had the chance to be his assassin,' she began to explain.

'And what stopped you?' Morgause interrupted.

'I don't know. I believed he cared for me.' If only Merlin could find some way of letting Morgana know that he was positive the King still cared for her. 'But not anymore. He cares for no-one.'

'That's not true, Morgana,' Merlin muttered as quietly as he dared under his breath. What was she doing? Her face was icy and hard, no trace of emotion anywhere. What had happened to her? What had Morgause done? Merlin started trembling with anger. Before Morgause entered the equation, Morgana had been one of the most sweet, caring people he'd ever met and it pained him more than he cared to admit to hear her talking like this.

'So you want Uther destroyed his reign to end?' Merlin nearly huffed. Morgause was putting ideas into Morgana's head now. There was no way she could want any of that.

'More than anything,' she said flatly. No, no, no. Merlin shook his head to try and silence the alarm bells ringing inside it.

'But it doesn't matter what I want. The future is not of my making.' She'd clearly never spoken to Kilgarrah and listened to his lectures about destiny…

'You are wrong, Morgana,' Morgause declared, shaking her head. 'You underestimate your importance.' Oh dear, what did she know? And how, for that matter? 'The decisions you make now will change the shape of everything that is to come,' Morgause informed her, circling her again all the while. Naturally, Morgana turned with her and Merlin could no longer see her face, but her back once more.

'What do you mean?' Morgana enquired. Her voice had suddenly become small and Merlin thought he could detect a slight hint of fear in it. This bothered him but it was better than how she had been moments before, with no emotion at all.

'Whose side are you on Morgana? Are you with Uther, or are you with me?' _Uther, Morgana, please say Uther_, Merlin begged silently. 'Are you prepared to help me bring about his downfall?' Damn! Kilgarrah had mentioned Morgana bringing about Camelot's ruin. Was this to be it? Merlin's heart began to pound so loudly he was terrified the two women would hear it. He clutched the tree in front of him harder, to steady his balance and hold himself up. The last thing he wanted was to fall and be discovered.

Morgana hesitated for a painfully long moment. _Please, don't do this Morgana. _

'I am.' _NO!_

'I can't tell you how much it means to hear you say that,' Morgause smiled, advancing towards Morgana and lifting her hand to her face. 'Meet me here again, same time, tomorrow?' she requested. 'We can start our plans then.' Morgana nodded in agreement and, with that, Morgause backed off into the trees and vanished.

Morgana stayed rooted to the forest floor for a while as silence descended upon the scene. Merlin held his breath, not wanting to be heard. Eventually, she turned and began to walk in his direction. Oh no, had she seen him? He stayed completely still, hoping she'd pass by him and he'd remain unnoticed. She glided along, passing the tree in front of him without stopping, her cloak billowing softly behind her.

He let out his breath and relaxed slightly which, in hindsight was an error. As he lessened his grip on the tree, his foot moved slightly, snapping a close twig. Morgana whipped around and did the one thing he'd been dreading: she looked straight at him.

**AN… I hope this has been slightly more exciting. This will probably be the last scene I take from the series because, from here on in, the plot will change. So guys, you see that box down there… yup, that's right, the review box… you know you want to write something in it. Yes you do. You really, really do. Or at least, I really want you to. Same thing, though right? No? Well, just humour me? **


	18. Chapter 18

Merlin stared back at her, rather unsure of what to do or say. The time for running away had well and truly come and gone. He'd been caught red-handed spying on her and they both knew it. His hands found the tree behind him, which he re-gripped for balance. She cocked her head to the side, not taking her eyes off him for a second. Her face gave away nothing of what she was feeling inside so, when she began to slowly walk towards him, he gulped, his heart racing – hell hath no fury like a woman scorned and all that…

'Merlin,' she whispered softly, smiling. He began to panic inwardly; why was she smiling so sweetly at him? He knew she must be angry, infuriated, murderous… _Stop it!_

'Morgana,' he replied, 'I can explain.'

'I'm sure you can,' she agreed, still smiling, 'please, do explain?' Her voice was warm and inviting, which only scared him more. He'd have felt better if she started screeching at him, at least then he'd understand, he'd know where he stood and how to handle the situation better. But this 'nice' façade was giving him butterflies to say the least.

'I was, er, well I was just –'

'- Spying on me? Stalking me? Sticking your nose in where it's not wanted?' she suggested, her voice becoming more shrill with each option. Well, he had wanted her to screech…

'Er –'

'Or were you just taking a midnight stroll, not following me or prying into my business at all?' she asked, calming herself again. Calmer though she was, it didn't take a genius to work out she was being sarcastic and, inside, she was seething, no doubt. One could but guess when she was going to explode.

He couldn't exactly lie to her, there was no point – it was more than obvious he wasn't just 'taking a midnight stroll'. If he was, he'd have stumbled upon them by accident, apologised and carried on his way, not hidden behind a tree and listened to their conversation.

'I'm waiting, Merlin,' she snapped suddenly, positioning her hands on her hips, like Merlin had seen a lot of women do when they were angry. 'Did you hear everything?'

He thought about lying one last time before rejecting the idea entirely. 'Yes.'

'Right. And did you follow me here?'

'Not exactly, I…' she raised her eyebrows, evidently already not believing what he was about to say. 'Yes,' he admitted sullenly.

'Why?' Jeez, why all the questions? Couldn't she just scream at him and be done with it?

'I was… concerned about you. For your safety,' he added in a rush.

'You were concerned?' she repeated.

'Yes. I saw you enter the forest when I was walking back to my room and I was worried.' He was trying to say as little as possible so she had nothing to twist or use against him; in his experience with women which, admittedly wasn't a lot, they liked to twist things.

'I'm a grown woman, Merlin,' she pointed out through gritted teeth, 'I am perfectly capable of looking after myself.'

'Of course you are!' he agreed, not wanting to land himself in any more bother by suggesting she was but a weak female. 'I just wanted to be sure you were safe, that's all.'

'Really?' she sneered. He decided nodding was the best option here so he bobbed his head up and down quickly and eagerly. She stepped back, giving him a bit more breathing space and watched him. He tried to control his breathing so that he didn't convey his growing anxiety. The last thing he wanted to come across as was weak and scared.

'I think you followed me here and purposely listened to my conversation with Morgause,' Morgana hissed finally, moving closer to him again. Merlin stammered; he had no idea how to respond to that. She was right, of course and she knew it, so he couldn't deny it anymore. But what was she going to do about it? The thought hadn't occurred to Merlin before this point but clearly, Morgana was not going to just let him go back to the castle and they certainly weren't going to go back to being the friends that they were before all this. It even crossed his mind, fleetingly, that she could try and kill him. He wouldn't put it past this new stone-hearted Morgana at any rate. He didn't even feel safe in the knowledge that his magic could protect him anymore because she had it too.

Well, since they both knew exactly what he was doing there, and since she seemed to have stopped throwing questions at him, Merlin decided to make the most of the situation.

'What you were saying to Morgause, about Uther, you didn't mean it, did you?' he asked, knowing full well he was pushing his luck, but hoping it may work anyway.

'Why wouldn't I?' How Merlin hated having questions answered with another question; they weren't proper answers.

'Morgana, he's bought you up like his own child. You can't truly want to kill him?'

'He doesn't care about me,' she retorted, 'all he cares about is increasing his power. If he knew the truth about me, he wouldn't give a second thought to having me killed. Why should I show him the mercy he would never show me?' He breathed heavily, uncertain about how to answer her. However much he hated the fact, she had a point: if Uther ever found out about her magic he'd have her killed within a heartbeat, ward or not.

'You don't know that,' he tried, wanting desperately to reach out and touch her arm to comfort her but he knew she wouldn't receive the gesture well, not anymore. 'He loves you just as much as Arthur. Surely that counts for something? He couldn't kill you, Morgana.'

'Don't be so stupid, Merlin,' she barked. 'I'd be burnt at the stake like a peasant and you know it.'

Merlin closed his eyes, trying not to let any tears escape. The image of Morgana being engulfed in flames, crying, terrified, burning to death, was far too much for him to bear. If only he could just tell her the truth then maybe she wouldn't feel so alone, so bitter at the rest of the world. Perhaps if he'd told the truth in the first place she'd never have looked to Morgause for comfort. But no, telling her the truth about his own magic wasn't an option, not right now anyway. He had to keep it a secret and so did she, for they both valued their lives too much to lose them.

'Let me help you?' he requested, mildly.

'Help me? How could someone like you possibly help me?' she scorned.

'I've already helped you, Morgana,' he reminded her gently. 'I could have told anybody about your magic but I haven't, I've kept it to myself _for you_. And you've managed okay so far, haven't you?' However, this did not have the desired effect of calming her down and making her see reason. In fact, it did quite the opposite.

'But I shouldn't have to!' she shrieked, clearly not caring whether or not they were heard by anyone. 'I should not have to hide who I am like I'm ashamed of myself! I was born like this, I can't help it. I should not have to die for it!' Even in the dark, Merlin could tell that she had started to cry and he thought he could see a glimpse of the young, naïve, scared Morgana that he knew only a few weeks ago, the Morgana that he cared for and wanted to protect, the Morgana that he could relate to in so many ways, the Morgana that he was sure was still inside her somewhere; he just had to find her. If he could find her, then he could bring her back, he was sure of it.

'No, you're right, you shouldn't,' he mumbled. 'But you've got me. We're friends, aren't we? That's what you told me once. You don't need to lie to me, Morgana, you can trust me. All I want to do is help you.'

'Friends,' she scoffed. He blinked, her words stabbing his heart more and more as she spouted them. 'Why would you want to help someone like me? I'm a criminal by the law of the kingdom, or would be if the King were to discover my powers.'

'Because I understand,' he whispered, finally reaching out for her arm, still thinking it a bad idea. It was; she pulled her arm away as soon as he made contact with it. This stung but he refused to show it. His feelings weren't important right now.

'Understand?' she spat, 'You're a simple serving boy with no money, no status, nothing.' Merlin gasped in shock; he couldn't help it. If he thought her words wounded him before, they'd been nothing. This is what she truly thought of him and he couldn't even begin to explain how much the blow hurt. A tumult of emotions washed through him, making him shake violently. He was upset, hurt, scared, confused and angry all at once. She seemed oblivious to this though, and continued. 'I'm a noble, the King's ward, no less, and I have the one thing that is outlawed above all else: magic. How could you possibly understand, Merlin?' she shouted, throwing her hands into the air, rather dramatically.

'Because I have magic too!' he yelled back at her, unable to stop the words tumbling out.

**AN… I had a very big temptation to wind you all up by ending this chapter with 'and then he woke up to find it had all been a dream'. However, that would have been cruel and I can assure you I'm not a cruel person. Plus I hate that sort of ending, it's so irritating. Not that this is the end though, far from it… **

**So… enough action fo****r you? ;)**


	19. Chapter 19

The woman glared at him, her eyes wide as saucers, stunned into silence. Merlin was now breathing so heavily that he was practically panting. What the hell made him say that?! He was not supposed to tell her that. He prayed for some sort of miracle which meant she didn't hear him.

'Now's not the time for jokes, Merlin,' Morgana growled, seemingly more annoyed than ever.

'What? I'm not joking,' he insisted. Damn it. He should have just gone with it and pretended he _had_ been joking.

'There is no way someone like you has magic,' she sneered. Merlin could feel anger arising inside him again. What did she mean someone like him?

'Magic has nothing to do with class, Morgana. I was born with it, same as you.' If he was going to tell the truth he might as well tell the whole truth.

Maybe this was a blessing in disguise. He'd never really intended on revealing his magic to her, well, at least, not yet but now that she knew about him, she knew she could trust him because he understood completely what she was going through. He could make her realise that having magic wasn't necessarily a curse and it definitely didn't have to be used for evil. Then, one day, when magic was no longer outlawed, they could be proud of who they were. Or, this could land them both, him particularly, in a lot of trouble. More likely.

'I don't believe you,' she stated simply. What on earth was wrong with her? He'd just told her the most important secret he had and she 'didn't believe him'? He threw his arms skywards in exasperation. What did he have to do to convince her he was being sincere? Oh. Right. That. He walked slowly, deliberately into the clearing – slowly for he didn't want her to think he was running away – picking up twigs and logs as he went. When he had a good few, he placed them down on the floor in front of him, then walked around them, turning to face her. He held out his hand above them and, as his eyes burned gold, they appeared to set themselves alight.

He raised his eyes to meet Morgana's, seeing the fresh flames reflected in them. She said nothing but alternated her gaze between the fire and Merlin, expressions of shock, disbelief and confusion washing over her face. Getting carried away, and wanting to make her smile, his eyes glowed again; this time the flames formed a mix of flowers and butterflies. But she didn't smile.

He sighed and dropped his hand, the flames returning to normal. He dragged his feet back towards Morgana and reached out to her. She looked at his outstretched hand with disdain and did not take it.

'Morgana, please?' he begged, although what he was begging for, he didn't quite know.

'Please what, Merlin? You've been lying to me for months.'

'I haven't lied to you.'

'When I came to you about my magic, you could have told me about your own but you didn't. Instead, you –'

'- Instead I chose to comfort you, Morgana, risking my life to do so at times,' he interrupted.

'And that's supposed to make it better?' she asked, becoming hysterical again. He stood, open-mouthed. No, it wasn't supposed to make it better. In fact, he had no idea what it was supposed to do but it was his only line of defence.

'You didn't need to seek out Morgause,' he told her.

'I didn't seek her out, she came to me. She offered to help me, she understood me which is a lot more than you did. Or at least a lot more than you were willing to let on. I just needed someone who knew what I was going through. What I'm still going through.'

Deep down, he knew she was right. In lying to her – or just not telling her the truth as he preferred to put it – he'd pushed her away. This was entirely his fault. All she'd done was reach out to the first person who'd claimed to understand her; he couldn't blame her, for isn't that what everybody wants, someone to understand them?

He stepped rearwards and sat on the floor. He couldn't see how they were going to sort this situation out any time soon, so he might as well make himself a bit more comfortable. Morgana didn't join him; instead, she chose to go and stand by the fire. He didn't blame her, the night was extremely cold.

'Where do we go from here?' he asked quietly, lifting his knees up to his chest and resting his chin on them. Morgana turned to him, her face showing puzzlement. 'I mean, I know about your plans for Uther – which I still don't think are wise, by the way – and you know about my magic.'

'And you think that makes us even?' she enquired, disbelief evident in her voice.

'It helps,' he admitted. She didn't reply, but looked at the floor.

After what seemed like an age, she left the fireside and sat by him instead.

'What happened to you, Morgana?'

'What do you mean?' There was that answering a question with another question thing again. He fought the urge to huff.

'You know what I mean. You were so nice, sweet, caring not so long ago, just weeks ago even. Now,' he sighed sadly, 'now I barely recognise the cold, callous woman you've become.' He saw tears forming in her blue eyes; his words had upset her. He hadn't planned on hurting her but maybe she'd realise what she was doing now.

'I've become the woman Uther made me,' she replied, sniffing, the tears now rolling down her fair cheeks.

'No you haven't,' he told her, shaking his head for emphasis, 'you've become the woman Morgause wanted you to. And I don't like that woman,' he whispered. 'That woman is harsh and vile. The woman before her was beautiful, friendly and charming. I loved that woman, Morgana. I really don't like this new one.'

'Loved?' She was looking at him intently, her tears now falling to the floor. He shrugged. Damn his mouth and its truth-telling habits tonight. He'd never even admitted that to himself, let alone anyone else, especially her.

'Find yourself, Morgana,' he said, stroking her tears away, trying to distract her more than anything – he wasn't ready to talk about what he'd just said - 'the real you. I know she's in there somewhere and so do you.'

'I don't know how to get her back, Merlin,' Morgana cried, clutching at his arm. If Merlin played this right, he could bring her back, bring her good side out again. But he had to be careful, for if he played it wrong, he could do the complete opposite and send her running straight back to Morgause. Oh, Morgause; he'd forgotten about her involvement in all this, just for a moment or so. He tried to push her to the back of his mind – he could sort that out later, somehow – what was important right now was the woman beside him.

'We'll work it out,' he promised, stroking her hand. 'But you have to work with me,' he warned her.

'I'll try,' she promised, burying her head in his shoulder.

**AN… I'm going to suffer for this when it comes to my exams in a month or so's time. I've been updating rather than revising… oopsie! Oh, by the way, some of you may have noticed the new cover for the story. All credit must go to my amazing best friend, Kim. She made it a couple of weeks ago for me when she was ill and it's wonderful. Her penname is 'narnianofcairparavel' so go check out her stuff too, it's great, I promise! Also, on our collab account (HarkinScriptores), we posted a one-shot a day or two ago. It's called 'It's Okay to Admit it' and it's about Morgana and Arthur, set during S1E7 so please go and check that out too; It's only about 2000 words, give or take, so it won't take up too much of your time.**

**Thank you!**


	20. Chapter 20

Once again, Merlin found himself watching Morgana sleep. After crying herself out on his shoulder, she cuddled into him for warmth and was now asleep on his lap. Merlin put his head back against the tree and immediately, as it tended to do so whenever he wanted to sleep, his mind went into overdrive. He closed his eyes as he remembered the sound of Morgana crying; it bought tears to his own eyes and her face, glistening with wet tears, it truly broke his heart. He looked down at her face which was turned up towards the moonlight and sighed. What were they going to do now? She knew about his magic and she knew he 'loved' her; he knew about her magic and her plot to murder the king. Where could they go from here?

While he'd got her back on his side for now, it wasn't going to be long before Morgause was back on the scene trying to claw her way back into Morgana's head. Merlin could not let that happen, though how he was going to stop it was beyond him for the moment. He stroked Morgana face gently, suddenly realising they shouldn't be in the forest. Together. At night. Oh no…

Gaius would notice he hadn't returned, Gwen would be worrying about Morgana's absence. What if she informed Arthur? Trying not to panic, he shook Morgana's shoulder.

'Morgana, wake up,' he muttered. She stirred briefly but she did not sense his urgency and fell straight back to sleep. Merlin cursed silently. He looked around him for inspiration but, imaginably, in the forest there was none to suit his situation. There was only one thing left that he could think of. As softly as he could, he scooped Morgana's light body into his arms and rose to his feet, staggering slightly. Thankful they hadn't gone too far into the forest, he ran – as fast as could considering he was carrying a none too compliant body – to the edge of the trees. He stopped so he could check there was no one about before continuing on into the market town. He kept as close to the buildings he could, hoping their darkness would cover him.

He stopped again, half way up the courtyard: there were guards in front of the castle door. Damn, of all the nights they could choose to do their jobs properly. Quickly deciding magic was the best option here, he flicked his head upwards, eyes glowing their customary gold colour, and the guards sunk to the floor asleep. Although now wasn't really the time, Merlin smiled, appreciating his handiwork. Morgana moaned in his arms, reminding him he had a job to do. He crept through the castle, as quickly as the weight would allow him, and reached Morgana's chambers. There were no guards outside at all. _Strange. _However, he couldn't deny he was grateful; at least it was one less set of guards to sneak past.

He entered the room and laid Morgana down on her bed, arranging her hair – which had covered her face in the wind – neatly around her and covering her with the duvet for she was freezing.

'Merlin?' he whipped around at the sound of his name which had most certainly not come from Morgana. His heart racing, he realised the voice belonged to Arthur, who was sat in the chair at Morgana's dressing table. He gulped, not having the first idea about how to explain himself.

'Where did you find her?' Arthur asked, indicating to Morgana.

'Find her?' Merlin was puzzled; why hadn't Arthur chopped his head off yet?

'She was missing, Merlin. Where did you find her?'

Merlin decided his earlier trait of telling the whole truth wasn't the best choice right now so he settled for telling half the truth.

'She was in the woods. Unconscious,' he added, remembering she was sleeping in his arms when he brought her in.

'What on earth was she doing there?' Arthur demanded to know, jumping up from the seat and rushing to her bedside. He examined her for a moment before turning back to Merlin. 'She looks unhurt,' he observed. 'Did you see anyone around?'

'No,' Merlin shook his head, 'I didn't see anyone, just her.' But it appeared Arthur wasn't really interested in his answer because he'd begun striding towards the door. 'Where are you going?' Merlin questioned.

'To tell the King she is safe. Stay here!' he shouted, already out of the door.

Merlin fell back against the door, his heart still pounding. At least he wasn't in any trouble himself – yet – but Morgana was going to have no idea about this when she woke up. What if she told a completely different story? He debated waking her to quickly explain what had happened but discarded the idea for fear Arthur would return with Uther while he was trying. He paced the room, unsure of what to do. He guessed there was nothing he could do; he'd just have to wait and see how things worked out. Hopefully, Morgana had intelligence enough to lie. Wait, of course she did. She wasn't exactly going to admit to being in the forest with Morgause, planning Uther's execution.

Although this was hardly a good thing, Merlin found himself being grateful for it. It would keep them both out of trouble because Morgana would have to lie.

Arthur returned hurriedly with Uther, Gaius and Gwen who began lighting all the candles around the room so they could see what they were doing. Uther and Arthur stood at the foot of the bed, allowing Gaius to inspect Morgana properly.

'Is she alright?' the king asked, his voice conveying his deep concern.

Gaius nodded. 'She's fine. There are no wounds to her body. I'm positive she is just heavily asleep,' he diagnosed.

'But what was she doing in the forest at night?' the king wondered, looking at Arthur who shrugged his shoulders.

'It was my manservant, Merlin, who found her. He said he saw no one else near her,' the prince replied. Merlin looked at the floor, not wanting to meet anyone's eyes, especially not Gaius', for he'd know for sure there was something more to the situation. Thankfully though, the physician did not voice the suspicions Merlin was certain he'd have.

'I guess,' Gaius began slowly, 'the only person who can tell you what she was doing in the forest is Morgana herself when she wakes up. For now though, I suggest you just let her rest. She must be tired and cold. I find sleep to be one of the best medicines.'

'Okay,' the king agreed. 'Thank you, Gaius. And thank you, Merlin, for finding her and bringing her back. I'll make sure you are rewarded.' Merlin smiled meekly; he felt bad – if he hadn't followed her in the first place, she'd have finished her discussion with Morgause and returned to the castle before anyone had noticed she was missing. This was his fault for interfering.

'Will you please stay with the Lady Morgana?' Uther asked Gwen before leaving.

'Of course, sire,' she answered with a curtsey as he left.

'I'll stay too,' Arthur decided, folding his arms. 'Thank you, Gaius, your help has been much appreciated. You may go now. You too, Merlin, I'll see you in the morning.' Merlin nodded, knowing full well the main reason Arthur was staying by Morgana's bedside was to spend time 'alone' with Gwen.

Merlin and Gaius walked in silence back to their chambers, the former nervous for he knew an interrogation from the latter awaited him when they got back.

XXX

'Tell me the truth, Merlin, did you really find the Lady Morgana in the forest?'

'Yes,' Merlin answered truthfully.

'What was she doing?'

Merlin hesitated before deciding honesty was the best policy this time. 'She was with Morgause. They were plotting Uther's assassination.' Gaius frowned and Merlin bit his lip, wondering if he should reveal the rest. 'Gaius?'

'Hmmm?'

'Morgana knows I have magic,' he admitted quietly, wringing his hands.

'Merlin!' the physician exploded. 'Do you not understand how important it is that you keep your magic a secret? How many times have I told you, boy?'

'It just sort of slipped out by accident,' Merlin defended himself.

'Does Morgause know too?' Gaius queried.

'No. No, she'd gone by then. It's just Morgana.'

Gaius didn't speak but turned his back on Merlin and began pacing from the table to the door and back, rubbing his chin. He almost looked comical but Merlin wasn't stupid enough to laugh; now wasn't the time.

'Oh, Merlin,' he sighed. 'You've really done it this time.' Merlin closed his eyes; he knew.

**A/N****... I'm running out of things to say in these author's notes to be honest. Um, just keep letting me know what you all think? I do love reading your responses. Debating whether or not to start including some scenes from series three in; I desperately want to bring Gwaine in, you see. Anyway, off to revise some stupid King Lear! OOH speaking of, we were reading it out in class one day a month or so ago and there was a reference to Merlin and I squealed – I looked like an idiot because no one understood. Useless bit of information for you there… **


	21. Chapter 21

Morgana opened her tired eyes the next morning to see Gwen and Arthur asleep on a chair at the foot of her bed, Gwen's head resting quite comfortably on Arthur's shoulder. She frowned. _What __on earth…?_ They certainly looked cosy but what were they doing cuddled up together in her bedroom? Anyone could see them! Abandoning that thought for a moment though, she had another one: When Arthur had been denying his feelings for her maidservant and vice versa, they'd been lying. It was sort of sweet, really. But, as with the last thought, this one was replaced with another: How did she get here?

The last thing she remembered was sitting in the forest with Merlin… Merlin… where was he? Last night's events came flooding back to her all too quickly. Merlin had followed her into the forest where she was meeting with Morgause who'd told her about her plans – well, ish, anyway – to annihilate Uther. After Morgause left, Morgana discovered Merlin and they'd argued, him revealing his own magic in the process. They'd argued some more then she must have fallen asleep because how she'd ended up back in her bedchamber was beyond her. Unless she'd dreamt it all? No, impossible.

Arthur stirred and sat up quickly when he realised Morgana was awake, rousing Gwen in the process.

'Morgana, what happened? Are you alright?' he asked, hurriedly rushing to the side of her bed in order to be closer to her. Gwen followed suit and came to her other side.

'I- um… I went to…' She stopped when, out of the corner of her eye, she saw the king enter her room, followed closely by Gaius and Merlin, the latter of whom went and stood by her window, behind everyone else. Why was everyone crowding round her all of a sudden?

'Morgana,' the king greeted her softly, 'You were missing, what happened to you? Merlin found you unconscious and bought you back here. You were in the forest.' What had Merlin told them? Had he told them what he'd heard between her and Morgause? Is that why they were all here? She clutched at the bed sheet under the duvet, trying not to make her rising panic visible. 'Do you remember what happened?' the Uther pushed. She didn't know what she was supposed to say because she had no idea what Merlin had already said. Her eyes flickered towards the servant to find him shaking his head. It was only the slightest of shakes, but he definitely shook his head.

'No, I – I'm afraid I don't remember anything,' she answered slowly, her eyes still fixed on Merlin to gage his reaction. He appeared to exhale a small sigh of relief and even gave her a little smile. Uther and Gaius began talking to each other about something but she wasn't listening. How she wished she could communicate with Merlin telepathically.

'Gaius says you should get some rest,' Uther informed her, coming over to stroke her hair lightly. 'If you could bring her some food?' he asked Gwen who nodded and left immediately. 'Arthur, we have a council to get to. I'll return to see you later,' he promised, looking back at Morgana before leaving her chambers with Arthur. Gaius turned to exit as well but stopped when he realised Merlin wasn't following him.

'Just a minute,' Merlin muttered. Gaius raised his eyebrows in obvious disapproval. 'I'll catch you up soon, I promise,' Merlin said, ushering the physician out of the room.

'What happened?' Morgana queried as soon as Gaius was gone. Merlin came and sat on the edge of her bed before answering.

'Calm down,' he pleaded, making a move as though to take her hand but then deciding against it. 'You fell asleep so I carried you back here,' he told her. 'I didn't want us to get caught in the forest and, well, you were cold,' she shrugged, attempting nonchalance. It wasn't working though; she smiled just a little at his pretence that he didn't really care about her. 'Just keep pretending you don't remember anything and I'm sure it'll blow over soon,' he supposed, getting up.

'Hardly,' she sighed. 'If I was 'missing', Arthur and Uther will stop at nothing to find out what happened to me,' she explained.

'Hmm. I hadn't looked at it like that,' he replied thoughtfully.

'Thank you,' she whispered suddenly.

'What? What for?' he asked, his brow creasing ever so slightly.

'For caring, for bringing me back, for being there,' she answered. 'Take your pick.'

'That's alright, Morgana,' he assured her sincerely, getting up off the bed.

'Merlin!' she called, clutching at his arm to stop him leaving. 'I'm supposed to be meeting Morgause tonight.'

'You can't go.'

'But Merlin –'

' –Morgana. Do not go,' he ordered firmly. 'Please?' he begged when she did not reply.

She looked down at the bed covers and nodded. She wasn't used to people ordering her about, especially not servants, but she knew he was right so she refrained from complaining or throwing a hissy fit about it.

'I have to go before Gwen comes back with your food,' he uttered more delicately, 'I'll try and see you later?' he suggested. While on the surface it may have appeared he was just being kind, Morgana figured the main reason he wanted to visit her again was to check she hadn't seen Morgause.

'Okay,' she agreed quietly, not moving her eyes from the duvet, for part of her still wanted to shout at him for making demands of her.

Once he left, she began to think. Morgause wasn't going to be easy to let down. She was quite a tough woman and Morgana knew how badly she wanted to destroy Uther – which, now she thought about it, may not be fully justified. If Morgana didn't turn up to their meeting tonight, Morgause would just come looking for her and, she knew from past experience, that the woman had no issues with sneaking into her bedchambers at night. What if she got angry? Actually, never mind the 'what if?' She was definitely going to be angry and an angry sorceress wasn't something Morgana was particularly experienced in dealing with, nor was it something she was looking forward to.

'I've brought you some breakfast, My Lady,' Gwen said cheerfully, coming back into her room with a tray full of food and pulling Morgana out of her thoughts. Until she'd smelled it, Morgana had not realised that she was absolutely ravenous.

'Thank you, Gwen,' she smiled, gratefully taking the tray from her and placing it in her lap, forgetting her troubles for now as she ate, hungrily.

XXX

'Merlin?' Arthur called from behind him as he was on his way back to check on Morgana.

'Yes?' he replied, swerving round quickly, preparing to pretend he had definitely not been going to Morgana's room, but it didn't matter for that wasn't what Arthur wanted to talk about.

'About last night, you are being totally honest aren't you? Arthur asked, his voice quietening as he came closer. He clearly didn't want any passers-by to hear their conversation, for whatever reason.

'Of course. Why wouldn't I be?' Merlin questioned. _What did he know?_

'You would tell me if there was anything else, wouldn't you?' Arthur enquired, ignoring Merlin's question. _Really, what had he found out?_

'Yes, Arthur,' he promised, nodding his head for emphasis, desperate to move away from this topic.

'So you didn't see anyone? I mean, if you did and they threatened you and you're not telling me because you're scared then-'

'Arthur, I didn't see anyone else. I just found Morgana unconscious on the floor, picked her up and bought her straight back to the castle,' Merlin recounted.

'Okay, I believe you,' Arthur responded, putting his hand on Merlin's shoulder, making the servant feel slightly guilty; he hated keeping things from Arthur. 'You're about the one person I can trust these days, Merlin,' the prince said somewhat sadly. 'Thank you, for finding her and bringing her back safely. I don't think I said that last night.' Merlin forced himself to smile. It was one of those rare occasions when Arthur was being really nice and Merlin despised the fact that he had to lie to him all the time.

'Listen,' Arthur continued, just as Merlin was about to walk off. 'I know I had a go at you before about your feelings for Morgana but…'

'I don't have feelings for her,' Merlin interrupted hurriedly.

'Wait,' Arthur requested, holding up a hand. 'I was just going to apologise for it and say it's nice that you care about her. You could have left her there in the forest, but you didn't and I can't thank you enough for it.'

'I only did what anyone would have,' Merlin shrugged.

'Maybe. But still, thank you. Nothing can ever happen though,' Arthur added.

Merlin gave up arguing seeing as Arthur clearly didn't believe his protests. 'I know.'

'Good. so long as we're clear,' Arthur grinned, now walking off down the corridor. _Hmph_. He was a fine one to talk – the way he was around Guinevere. However, Merlin managed to restrain himself and didn't mention this; it would only earn him a clout around the ear and he didn't particularly want one of those.

'Oh, Merlin?' the prince called over his shoulder. _What now?_

'Hmm?' Merlin shuddered to a halt.

'I forgot to ask you, what were you doing in the woods at night anyway?

_Damn! _'I was, er, finding some herbs for Gaius,' he lied.

'In the middle of the night?' Arthur asked, his suspicion evident on his face.

Merlin nodded, hoping he'd just drop it.

'Oh. Alright then,' he replied and continued on his way. _Phew._

**A/N… Sorry this chapter has taken so long to put up; apparently DIY is rather time consuming. I've had a few different ideas about where to go from here, so if my update rate decreases, it's because I'm struggling with which idea to go with…**** Two of them involve bringing in Gwaine, one of them Lancelot, one of them both, some of them neither… Yeah. I'm just toying around with different ideas for making the story a bit longer because, as it stands, if I don't bring in some more people to mix up the plot a bit, then the story will be finished in about 4 more chapters which, I don't want, and most of you readers have said you don't want… Let me know who you want to see introduced if you like? **


	22. Chapter 22

Merlin continued on his journey to Morgana's chambers only to be disappointed when he arrived, for Morgana wasn't there. He stood in her doorway and his heart sunk to the earth. She'd gone to see Morgause, he knew it. He turned on his heel and ran like the wind down the forest. The only positive he could think of right now was that at least it wasn't night. He reached the place he'd found the two of them last night but they weren't there; the scene was deserted. Oh, that was odd. Maybe she wasn't with Morgause at all; he suddenly felt guilt-ridden for judging her badly so quickly.

Then again, Morgause had said to meet here at the same time, which could explain why they weren't there. Oh no. Merlin knew exactly where Morgana was. He raced back through the forest and into the castle, entirely out of breath by this point. Refusing to give up, he trudged towards the guest chambers where, unless he was mistaken (and he direly hoped he was), he would find the two sorceresses.

He approached Morgause's door cautiously, for it was ajar and he didn't want to be caught, not yet anyway. Lingering outside, he pressed his ear as closely to the door as he dared. So she had gone to see Morgause, but the knowledge that it hadn't been for the reason he'd thought – that she was 'going back to her', as it were - made him feel slightly better.

'What do you mean you're not with me anymore?' he heard Morgause shriek. Uh oh!

'I mean I don't want to kill the king,' Morgana explained. 'I don't want to use my magic for evil, Morgause.'

Merlin peeked through the gap to see Morgause grasp Morgana's wrists. 'Evil! Is that what you think of me? Really Morgana, my plan isn't 'evil', I just want what is right, what is best for people like us.' Oh that woman was malevolently conniving. Even if she did want what was 'best' for people like them, she sure as hell wasn't going about it the right way.

'No, Morgause,' Morgana pleaded, 'I don't want any part in your plot!' She pulled her hands away and stepped backwards so Merlin could no longer see her.

'Why?' Morgause demanded. 'What has changed your mind?' Then she stopped, a look of realisation washing over her face. '_Who_ has changed your mind? Who have you told about this, Morgana?' she asked.

'No one, I just…' Morgana trailed off. Merlin could sense Morgana was struggling with the situation and he'd have given anything to be able to help her but he knew that if he barged in to stick up for her, he'd only make matters worse.

'Well, whoever they are, they can't help you like I can. Nobody can. Nobody will understand you the way I do, Morgana.'

'He does,' she muttered, so quietly that Merlin had a job to hear her. _Oh drat, Morgana! _

'Oh! It's a he? And who is he?' Morgause enquired with mock interest.

'Nobody, it doesn't matter,' Morgana replied, the fact that she'd realised her mistake in mentioning him evident in her voice.

'On the contrary, I think it does. Tell me who it is, Morgana!' Morgause demanded, shouting again.

'I have to go, Morgause, please. And I think you should leave Camelot,' she added as an afterthought.

'Should I? Why?' the woman questioned.

'You know why,' Morgana informed her, coming closer to the door and opening it. Merlin suddenly panicked; she was going to walk out and discover him eavesdropping. He looked around him and, as chance would have it, there was a tapestry on the opposite wall not far from him. As quietly and quickly as he could, he ran over to it and hid behind it, now really having to strain his ears to hear the women's conversation.

'Farewell, Morgause,' Morgana said quietly, standing outside the door. Whether Morgause answered or not, Merlin didn't hear. He exhaled the breath he'd been holding in as he heard Morgause's door slam and the 'click-clack' of Morgana's shoes retreating further down the corridor. He wasn't entirely certain, but he was sure he heard a sob escape from Morgana as she left.

XXX

Morgana had every intention of returning to her quarters but, for some reason, she just didn't want to. Instead, she found her feet taking her in the direction of Gaius' chambers and, therefore, Merlin's chambers. She knocked, as was customary, before entering to find Gaius sat at the bench eating lunch – it looked like a soup of some sort – by himself.

'Morgana, my child, what can I do for you?' the old man asked kindly, standing up.

_Oh_. She hadn't actually thought of what excuse she could use to see Merlin seeing as that is what she was actually doing there. She walked forward and, as she did so, she felt Morgause's cold bracelet on her wrist – she had to give that back, she couldn't exactly keep it anymore.

'I was wondering if you could provide me with a sleeping draught for tonight?' she enquired. She'd be needing one now if she was returning the healing bracelet, which was a shame because it had given her some of the best nights' sleep she'd had since she was a little girl. But she really couldn't keep it, not after this.

'Of course,' he smiled, moving towards one of the shelves where he kept his numerous bottles with different potions in. he searched around for a bit then turned back to her. 'It appears I don't have a spare one,' he informed her, 'but if you give me a few hours I can whip one up and send it over with Merlin this evening?' he suggested.

Morgana nodded, smiling. 'That would be fine, thank you, Gaius. Where is Merlin anyway?' she queried, trying to sound indifferent.

'I'm not quite sure actually. With the prince I suspect,' he answered, sitting back down to his food.

'Oh, okay,' she mumbled, opening the door. 'Thank you again, Gaius,' she smiled.

'Any time,' he told her through a mouthful of food. She nodded and left, slightly downhearted at not having seen Merlin; she'd wanted to tell him what had happened with Morgause, after all, there was no point keeping these things from him anymore, not when he was the only person she could properly talk to.

XXX

Merlin strolled back to Gaius' quarters, not in any hurry, pondering over what he'd just heard. He knew getting rid of Morgause wasn't going to be easy but it now looked like it was going to prove a lot harder than he'd first expected. It was times like these when he wished he could ask Arthur for help; he'd know what to do. Thinking about it, Merlin didn't actually have very many friends, not ones he could talk to. He guessed he was like Morgana in that respect, which was probably why they got on so well. That was two things they had in common now: magic and loneliness.

**A/N… Hi guys! Okay, I'm really sorry this chapter was so awfully short, it's just I wanted to write something to make up for not posting for two days. Plus, The Hobbit is out tomorrow so don't expect anything from me for a few days, seriously. I totally worship that film! Don't judge. R&R? Go on… for me…**


	23. Chapter 23

Recently, whenever returned home from working for Arthur, he took the long route: via the corridor in which Morgana's room was situated. He didn't always go in – after all, her doors were heavily guarded – he figured he just went that way on the off-chance of seeing her. And tonight was no different. After making sure the prince had everything he needed, Merlin wandered through the castle's many long corridors and, eventually, came to pass Morgana's bedroom. She was approaching her door from the other end of the corridor when she saw him. She quickly looked at the guards then all but ran at him.

'Merlin, I need to talk to you,' she whispered for neither of them particularly wanted the guards to hear their conversation. Merlin knew – or he hoped he knew – exactly what it was she wanted to talk about but he said nothing, remained silent and waiting for her to continue. 'Where were you earlier?' _What? _That wasn't what he expected.

'When?' he asked.

'This afternoon. I came looking for you, but you weren't with Gaius.'

'Oh. I was with Arthur,' he lied, although you could say it was not technically lying – he had spent the latter part of the afternoon with Arthur, she just never specified which part.

'Okay. Well, anyway, I know you told me not to but I went to-'

'What are you two whispering about?' They both jumped at the interruption from Uther.

'Nothing,' Morgana told him hastily. 'Merlin was just wondering… er… Well he's had _feelings_ for my maidservant, Gwen, for quite some time now, and he was just asking me for some advice on the best way to go about wooing her.' He couldn't help the look of pure shock that came over his face. This was definitely news to him.

'Oh, really?' the King asked, a knowing smile creeping upon his features. Morgana nudged him in his thin ribs with her rather pointy elbow.

'Ouch! I mean, er, yes. Yes I was,' he replied, rubbing his ribs.

'Well, good luck,' he chuckled, winking. 'Morgana,' he started, taking her gently by the elbow and pulling her away. 'I was just coming to check you were okay?'

'I'm alright, thank you,' she said. 'Goodnight, Merlin,' she called over her shoulder, leaving him standing alone, watching the pair of them walk into her chambers. He held up a hand to wave but they'd gone.

XXX

'Morgana, may I come in?' Uther queried from the other side of her door, mid-morning the next day. She was not in a particularly good mood; she hadn't been able to talk to Merlin, she still had the bracelet and she was starting to feel guilty about plotting against Uther – he was being so caring.

'Just a minute,' she huffed; Gwen was still doing up the back of her dress. 'Okay, come in,' she called after a minute or two, when all the laces were done. Uther walked in positively beaming.

'I was just wondering whether you'd like to come for a ride with me today?'

'Oh, I'm not so sure I'm really in the mood for company,' she informed him. 'Maybe another time?'

'Okay,' he replied, looking slightly disheartened. 'That may be just as well,' he sighed. 'Arthur's coming too and I know how the pair of you can bicker sometimes.'

Arthur was going? That meant Merlin would be going too. Perhaps they'd find a chance to talk.

'Wait,' she said as he turned around. 'I'd like to come.'

'Really?' he asked. 'I mean, if you'd rather not I honestly don't mind.'

'No, I want to come,' she smiled.

'We'll be leaving in about an hour,' he informed her, 'I'll tell the stables to prepare two horses for you and your maid.' He left the room happy, with what Morgana could've sworn was a big spring in his step.

'You don't mind, do you?' she asked Gwen, revolving to face her.

'No, not at all,' she grinned. Morgana knew that face. Gwen had absolutely no qualms with going on a trip that Arthur would also be going on.

'You like him, don't you?' Morgana asked softly.

'Who?'

'Arthur.'

'Oh no. I- Of course not,' she replied, becoming quite flustered.

'Come on, Gwen, you can tell me,' Morgana coaxed, giving her friend a small nudge.

'No, I couldn't possibly.'

'No? Then why are you blushing?' Morgana giggled.

'Blushing? I am not!' the maid protested. 'I'll just go and prepare everything,' she decided, rushing out of the room.

Morgana laughed to herself. It was sweet really, Gwen's feelings for Arthur, and vice versa actually. For all his pompous airs and graces, Arthur Pendragon had fallen in love with a simple serving girl. There was a time when Morgana may have been jealous, but not now. She was long past that stage. Now she could look at Gwen and Arthur's situation and smile. After all, she couldn't exactly judge, not when she considered her own, not too dissimilar situation. Not that she _loved_ Merlin exactly, but she cared a great deal for him and he was certainly her closest friend; someone she could talk to and rely on. Someone who understood her.

Then, suddenly she remembered something. Whilst thinking about her feelings, she realised that the other night, Merlin gave away a lot about his own. He'd even gone so far as to say he '_loved'_ her! She gasped quietly to herself. She had to admit she was surprised because, what with everything that had gone on since then, she'd quite forgotten he'd said that. Did he mean it? If he did, she didn't really know how to feel. She'd never thought anyone could be in love with her. Sure, she'd been admired by plenty of the knights of Camelot, even Arthur at one stage, but actually _in love_? She'd never imagined it. The thought made her feel rather warm inside. A blush came to her cheeks and she couldn't stop herself smiling.

'You should probably change into something more suitable for horse-riding, My Lady.' Gwen's return startled her and it must have been obvious. 'Sorry, I did not mean to scare you,' Gwen apologised.

'No matter,' Morgana smiled at her, noticing she had already gotten changed. 'Yes, changing may be a good idea,' she decided, fingering her long, flowing, silk green dress. 'I wouldn't want to get this dirty or rip it,' she explained.

'It's your favourite, isn't it?' Gwen commented, pulling out of the wardrobe Morgana's riding clothes and a fur cloak for it was chilly outside.

'Yes, it is,' Morgana replied. The colour was just lovely, it bought out her eyes, and the jewels were beautiful. It really was her favourite and she remembered Merlin once remarking upon how pretty she looked in it. She shook her head a little; that should not be why she liked wearing it.

'Are you alright, My Lady?' Gwen asked, concerned about her sudden fit.

'I'm quite well, thank you, Gwen. There was just a fly, that's all.' Gwen nodded, reassured. 'So, Arthur…?' Morgana began, not wanting the attention focused on herself.

'Here, put this on,' Gwen said, handing Morgana the fur cloak. 'We don't want you nearly freezing to death again.' Morgana noticed a pink blush reappear on her maid's face and she chuckled; she'd get the truth out of her eventually.

**AN… I haven't updated in quite some time, I know, and I'm really, really sorry. I did warn you revision and 'The Hobbit' would get in the way… I'm pretty sure it's Gwaine I'm going to bring in but I'm not quite sure how or when yet. Not a lot happened in this chapter and, again, I apologise profoundly, but it was sort of a necessary filler chapter. Keep telling me your opinions, I do enjoy reading them! **


	24. Chapter 24

Morgana's intentions were to ride alongside Merlin, but Uther put paid to that idea by insisting she and Arthur ride next to him so he could talk to 'his children'. She didn't really mind that much, for it would've been impossible to talk to Merlin properly in the company of Arthur, Gwen and Uther, but she did keep sending wistful looks backwards in his direction. However, this did not go unnoticed by Guinevere who asked Merlin what 'Morgana's looks' were all about. Being an alert young woman, Morgana's hearing was impeccable so, although Gwen asked her question quietly, Morgana heard.

'I don't know what you mean,' Merlin mumbled in reply. Morgana heard this too and smiled, feeling more comfortable in the knowledge that Merlin could lie decently. _But you already knew that_ the bad side of her conscience sneered at her. _Shut up_ she told herself. It didn't matter.

After a couple of hours or so's distance, they came to a slow halt.

'We'll have food here, I think,' the King decided, coming down from his horse. A rumble in Arthur's stomach showed he approved and it made Morgana giggle.

'What? I'm starving!' he protested. 'Merlin, get the food out,' he ordered, also jumping from his horse. Morgana looked to Merlin who sighed, clearly fed up of being bossed around all the time. Although he was a servant and it was his job to do as he was told, Arthur could be very demanding and just a little over-bearing sometimes. Morgana got down from her own horse, with a hand from Uther, and stood shivering. Despite her fur cloak, she was freezing.

'Are you cold, Morgana?' Uther asked, still holding her hand.

'A little,' she admitted.

'Merlin, can you fetch some firewood? Morgana is cold,' the King told him.

'Of course, sire,' Merlin agreed and walked off further into the woods.

'I'll go and help him,' Gwen said, standing up.

'No, you sit back down,' Arthur told her, 'I'm sure Merlin will be fine.' She smiled at the prince, a smile which he returned wholeheartedly. Uther, still fussing with Morgana's cloak in an attempt to warm her up, was oblivious to his son's flirting.

After ten minutes or so, Merlin hadn't come back and Morgana saw her opportunity. Should she take it? Deciding she should, she rose to her feet.

'I'm going to see what's taking Merlin so long,' she informed the company.

'No, Morgana, sit down,' Uther mumbled through a mouth crammed to bursting with food. 'I'm sure the boy is fine.'

'I won't be long,' she replied, setting off into the trees anyway. 'I could do with a walk anyway.' She picked up pace before any of them could think about accompanying her. She walked a good deal away from them but could not see Merlin anywhere. 'Merlin?' she called, but not too loudly. He appeared from behind a tree to her left, his arms full, carrying branches and twigs, anything that they could burn as firewood.

'Morgana, what are you doing?' he asked.

'I've come to help you,' she smiled, taking some of the branches from him so he could pick up more. It was the least she could do seeing as the fire was essentially for her benefit.

'You said you wanted to talk to me,' he groaned as he bent down, dropping some logs as he did so.

'Yes,' she replied, looking around to check she hadn't been followed. She hadn't and, confident the other three were out of hearing range, she continued. 'I went to see Morgause yesterday. I know you told me not to, but I wanted to tell her that I'm not on her side anymore.'

'Oh? And how did she take it?' he queried, trying to sound as normal as possible, so he didn't give away the fact that he already knew because he'd been eavesdropping.

'Not very well, as you can imagine. Merlin, I don't think she's going to let me go that easily.'

'No, probably not,' he agreed. 'We should get back to the others. We'll talk more later though,' he added when he saw her expression falter. 'Come on,' he said, taking her arm as best as could considering they were both carrying quite a lot of wood.

She looked down at his hand and more than felt it touch her arm. A warm sensation tingled and flowed inside her body and, try as she might, she was finding it nigh on possible to ignore. Then she remembered what else she'd wanted to talk to him about: the 'love issue'. But now wasn't the time, she knew that, so she kept quiet about it, planning to bring it up the next time they were alone together.

XXX

When they arrived back at the castle of Camelot, as they were dismounting their horses, Morgana tried to get Merlin's attention – she wasn't sure how much longer she could keep all her questions and feelings from bursting out. As Arthur went to help Guinevere down, she asked Merlin to help her down from hers.

'I can do that,' the king pronounced, jumping to the ground from his horse, but Merlin was already there.

'Will you meet me later?' she whispered as he placed his hands on her waist to help her down.

'Your chambers?' he asked, just as quietly.

'No,' she uttered. 'Yours.'

'But Gaius will be there,' Merlin hissed in protest.

'I'll wait until he's asleep.'

Before Merlin could object further, Morgana took Uther's arm and accompanied him up the steps and back to the castle, leaving Merlin almost foaming at the mouth in fury. What did she think she was playing at? She couldn't come to his room at night; it was beyond dangerous!

XXX

Merlin went to bed that night, past agitated. Obviously there was no pint in him going to sleep – which was a good thing too because with all the worry swimming around in his head he was not likely to get any – so he simply sat on his bed, fully dressed, waiting to see if Morgana would arrive. Not that there was really any question about that. Whatever she was, she was a woman of her word so if she said she'd come – unless something happened to stop her – she'd come.

In spite of his determination not to sleep, he must have accidentally dropped off because he suddenly felt himself being shaken awake. He opened his piercing blue eyes to find Morgana above him, shaking his shoulders and whispering his name. He jumped bolt right up, astounded that he'd actually managed to fall asleep, before standing up fully and creeping to his door. He peaked outside to check Gaius had not woken.

'Don't worry,' Morgana assured him, 'Gaius is asleep. May I sit?' she asked, indicating to his small, shabby bed.

'Of course,' he replied, rushing over to tidy the sheets up a bit before letting her take a seat. She patted the space next to her in a gesture for him to sit there too but he shook his head and stayed standing by the door. What on earth would it look like if someone were to walk in and find them both sat on his bed? No, standing was definitely the better option here. 'So what is it you wanted?' he enquired, trying to sound warm and kind, despite the fact he was very much on edge and wishing she'd chosen somewhere else to meet.

'I wanted to ask you something,' she responded, looking him straight in the eye. Something told him he wasn't going to like this…

**A/N… Okay so I thought, since I took ages to update, I'd do another chapter so I could post two in one day. My way of an apology? Please write a little something in the review box down there? I'd love you to!**


	25. Chapter 25

He stayed where he was, unable to move his gaze away from hers. His breathing became slightly heavier for he was dreading what it was she was going to ask. He wasn't quite sure what she wanted to know but he just didn't like the feeling he was getting, nor did he like the intensity of her demeanour all of a sudden.

'Go on,' he encouraged when she didn't say anything, not that he particularly wanted to hear it right now, but it was polite.

'Actually, two things, the first is more of a favour than a question. I was wondering,' she started but then hesitated. He looked down to see she was fiddling with something in her hand. 'Would you please give this back to Morgause?' She held out the healing bracelet to him.

'Me?' he asked, more than a little astounded.

'Yes. It's just, well, I don't really want to have to talk to her again but it feels wrong keeping it now that we are no longer 'friends'.'

'Isn't she going to wonder why _I'm_ giving it back to her?'

'I've thought of that. You're a servant-'

'-Thanks for reminding me,' he muttered interrupting.

She ignored him. '-so you can make out like you're cleaning her room or something and put it back that way. Not that she really has any reason to stay now…' she trailed off, clearly talking to herself more than to Merlin.

He sighed. He could see her point; if she went to give the bracelet back, Morgause would take the opportunity to talk her back around to her twisted way of thinking and neither of them wanted that, not in the slightest. 'I'll do it,' he decided, and watched as a look of obvious relief came over her pale face. He walked a little closer to her and held his hand out for the accessory, which she gave to him. Slowly, he put it on the shelf next to his bed for safe-keeping.

'Thank you, Merlin,' she smiled. 'You're always so kind and thoughtful.'

'I'd do anything for you,' he admitted with a shrug, like it was the most normal thing in the world.

She returned the smile. 'That brings me onto my second question.'

He sat on the floor, back against the wall opposite her. 'What is it?' he queried, almost wishing away the answer before she said it.

'In the woods the other night,' she began, 'you said something.'

'I'm sure I said a lot of things,' he interrupted again, attempting a laugh but it just came out half-hearted.

'Yes you did. But there was one thing in particular, other than the revelation of your magic,' she whispered. Maybe she was beginning to realise that her being in his room was not such a good idea after all. Then again, she was still sat on his bed, so maybe not. It was all Merlin could do not to gulp; he now knew exactly what she was referring to. 'You said you loved me,' she murmured. While she then looked straight at him to see his reaction, she held her breath, almost like she was afraid of it.

'Did I?' he asked, looking away from her, trying to drag this out so he had time to think.

'Don't pretend you didn't Merlin, and don't pretend you've forgotten either. We both know you did.' If she'd been able to shout, she probably would have. He reverted his eyes back to hers and he saw a young, fragile woman who was lonely, scared and incredibly beautiful. He saw a woman who deserved so much more than his love, but she had it; he couldn't deny it to himself anymore. He loved her.

'I did.'

'_Did_ love me?'

'No. I did say it,' he replied, noting the scared tone in her voice. He did say it, but he couldn't quite bring himself to say it now for, truth be told, he was just as scared as she appeared to be. She looked at the dusty, wooden floor, her long, wavy hair falling over her face so he couldn't see her response. He sat silent, letting her take in what he'd just revealed for the second time, until he heard her sniff. Was she crying?

'Hey,' he said, crawling over to her feet. He took her hands in one of his and, with the other, lifted her chin. There was a tear streak either side of her face. 'Why are you crying?' he asked.

'I'm not,' she denied, trying to turn her head but Merlin wouldn't let her.

'Morgana, you _are_ crying,' he stated, stroking her tears away. 'What's the matter?'

'I'm not upset, it's just… It's just that no one has ever said they love me before,' she muttered, looking a bit embarrassed.

'Come on, I'm sure that's not true!' Merlin said, trying to make light of the situation.

'Well Uther has, and Arthur has, but they meant it in a familial way obviously. No man has actually _ever_ told me they love me,' she sniffed. Now this, Merlin could not believe. He looked at her; how could anyone _not _love her?

'Surely the knights, I mean-' But she shook her head. Merlin was stumped, rather unsure of what to say or do to cheer her up, not that she was really upset, as she'd pointed out. He still didn't quite understand why she was crying, but he knew he didn't like it; he knew it hurt him to see her weep like this.

'Do you mean it?' she questioned suddenly, all sniffles coming to a stop.

'What?'

'That you love me. Do you mean it, Merlin?'

'Of course I do,' he insisted, sitting on the bed next to her, still keeping a hold on her hands and face. 'I wouldn't say it to you if I didn't mean it, Morgana, that would be cruel, and I may be a lot of things, but I can assure you that cruel is not one of them.'

'I know,' she smiled, inching closer to his face until, finally, her soft lips touched his. Alarm bells rung loudly in Merlin's head: he should stop this, he had to stop this now, but he couldn't. It was the gentlest of touches, but in that kiss Merlin felt a torrent of emotions from both himself and her. He felt elated; it was wonderful, amazing, it was magical.

Morgana pulled away as slowly as she'd gone closer, looking uncertain. He knew what was going through her head; she was happy yet she felt confused maybe a small tinge of regret for, really, they probably shouldn't have done what they just did. Merlin knew this because it was exactly what he was feeling as well and, like her, his face was probably showing it.

'We shouldn't have done that,' he whispered, removing his hand from her face but she caught it and placed it with his other one on top of hers.

'Shouldn't we?' she asked, quietly, stroking his hands. 'Why not?'

'You know why not. Now's not the time for heroic defiance against society,' he muttered, dejectedly.

'I think now is as good a time as any,' she informed him, a defiant tone entering her voice. He understood how she was feeling but he remembered what the dragon had told him about his and Arthur's destiny and so forth; that one day, Camelot would be a better place and magic would not be outlawed. Maybe then they could be together like this, but not now, it just wouldn't work.

'Come on,' he said, standing up. 'I'll walk you back to your chambers,' he offered, giving her his arm.

'I don't want to,' she pouted, suddenly taking on the attitude of a small child. If the situation hadn't been so serious, Merlin might have laughed.

'Come on,' he repeated, pulling her to her feet.

'But when will I see you again?' she whispered as they opened the door.

'Whenever you like,' he told her, just wanting to keep her happy so she'd oblige and go back to her own room. It was beginning to get lighter outside his window which meant the risk of them being caught was getting higher. If she didn't leave now, they'd both be caught. They crept through the castle in silence until they reached her bedroom.

'Good night, Morgana,' he spoke softly, removing her hand from the crick of his elbow and giving it a quick kiss.

'Good _morning_, Merlin,' she smiled before turning around, entering her room and closing her door behind her, leaving him standing, once again, in the corridor alone.

**AN… They had to get there eventually, I mean, it did take 25 chapters. I'm not particularly happy with the way I've done this chapter, the way I made them handle things, but it's honestly the best I can do right now. I'm beyond shattered these days what with revising, DIY, etc.**** At least the DIY is almost finished now! As ever, thanks for reading! And I must apologise to my best friend, Kim, for teasing her about this chapter. Although, I stand by what I said, she needs to learn some patience… and I'm going to leave you with this now and prepare for the telling off I'm surely going to get from her for this the next time I see her… Cheerio!**


	26. Chapter 26

Arthur and Merlin were returning to Camelot after a hunting a trip, the next afternoon, although it was more pushing on for evening, when Arthur spotted a tavern not far from the village borders.

'Do you know what you need after a nice day's hunt?' Arthur asked far too cheerily for Merlin's liking – the poor man was absolutely exhausted.

'Sleep?' he asked hopefully.

'A nice cold tankard of mead,' Arthur continued, completely ignoring Merlin's answer and riding off towards the pub, not looking back to see if Merlin was following or not.

'Hmph. Mead,' Merlin huffed. It wasn't exactly a secret that drinking was not exactly Merlin's favourite past time – he'd genuinely rather go picking herbs for Gaius than spend his free time in a tavern; nasty, smelly places, full of drunkards. Nevertheless, Arthur wanted to visit this particular tavern and, as his servant, Merlin had no choice but to accompany him so he clicked for his horse to move.

'No better place to measure the mood of your people than the local tavern,' Arthur stated, tethering his horse to a wooden fence-like structure. It wasn't exactly the 'local tavern' but Merlin did not like to point this out to the prince. Then again, however much Merlin disliked pointing things out to the prince, his tongue tended to disagree with him.

'This is going to be one of the moments where I say this isn't a good idea and you ignore me, isn't it?' his mouth queried of its own accord.

'You're learning, Merlin!' Arthur remarked. 'Slowly, but you're learning.' This was annoying enough on its own but, what was worse was that there wasn't even a trace of sarcasm in Arthur's voice. Merlin clamped his mouth shut and continued to tie his horse to the wood. 'Now, remember,' Arthur began, oblivious to Merlin's irritation, 'in here you're not my servant. I'm a simple peasant like everyone else.' _Pft, if only that were ever to be true!_

'The simple part is right,' Merlin muttered, unable to refrain from taking a dig.

'What?' Arthur asked, rolling his sleeves up as they walked to the tavern door.

'I said the sun is very bright,' Merlin 'repeated' as though he really were talking to a simple person. He looked up to the sky to prove his point and Arthur did so too.

'Yeah, yeah it is,' he agreed.

Inside the tavern, the scene was much as Merlin had expected, for it was much like any other tavern he'd visited in his time. It was dark, smelly and rowdy. Very rowdy. They found a seat and Merlin looked around, rather unimpressed. There was a pair of stag's antlers on the wall, smoke coming from somewhere or other and a lot of very loud, very drunk men. He looked to Arthur and couldn't decide whether he, too, was unimpressed or simply bemused.

'Afternoon. What'll it be?' a woman, whom Merlin presumed was the landlady asked. He ran his eyes over her; she was hardly a beauty, not like Morgana. _Stop it, Merlin! Sat with Arthur is hardly the time to be thinking about Morgana! _She cleared the dirty tankards from their table and Arthur looked around 'umm-ing' and 'ah-ing' which made Merlin smirk – Arthur knew exactly what he wanted. 'Ooh, you're an 'andsome fella,' the landlady pronounced. Great, another woman attracted to Arthur. Arthur, who whipped his head around very fast, a smug smile appearing on his face.

'Well, you wouldn't be the first to say it,' he told her. Merlin sneered; _he just couldn't help himself, could he?_

'Oh, no, sorry,' she laughed. 'I was talking about your friend, 'ere.' She positioned herself to get a better look at Merlin whilst still cleaning the table with an already dirty rag. While Merlin had previously commented to himself on her lack of beauty, he now had no problems with that, and he returned her wide smile.

'Him?' Arthur asked, incredulously, giving Merlin quite a dirty look. She nodded, much to the prince's clear disgust.

'Thank you,' Merlin grinned, enjoying Arthur's annoyance a little bit too much. She beamed at him again.

'Two tankards of mead, please?' Arthur asked somewhat flatly, his earlier cheery spirit all but vanished into thin air. Merlin watched her as she left then turned back to Arthur.

'I was wrong,' he admitted. 'Coming here was a great idea.' Arthur was preparing himself, no doubt, to give Merlin a very sarcastic and possibly quite mean reply, but he didn't get the chance. The door swung back on its hinges and the room fell silent as a large, middle-aged, but tough looking man strode in, snarling. Trying to look inconspicuous, both Merlin and Arthur took a sip from the filled tankards which had just been put down in front of them. The man continued to stride slowly through the room until he reached a serving girl carrying a full tray. Without even stopping, he threw the tray from her hands, sending it crashing to the floor.

Maybe Merlin's change of heart about coming to the tavern had been too soon. Arthur looked up at the man, concerned about his rough actions.

'Afternoon, Mary. Business looks good,' he speculated. 'Mary' turned around slowly, a look of fear plastered all over her chubby face.

'We have our better days,' she muttered.

'I don't suppose you'll begrudge me my share then,' he growled nastily, advancing on her. Arthur rose slightly in his seat, now obviously paying full attention to what was going on. Merlin turned around to watch the scene too and saw her throw the man a few coins over the counter.

'And the rest?'

'That's all we've got,' she told him.

'I'll not ask again!' he shouted, grabbing her by the front of her dress and pulling a knife out of his pocket, pointing it to her throat.

'Take your hands off her,' Arthur demanded, standing up. _No, Arthur, please sit back down_ Merlin begged silently. This wasn't anything to do with them.

The man turned around to find Arthur walking towards him, a defiant look upon his features. The man grinned for a moment before lunging forward, attempting to throw a punch in the direction Arthur's face. A skilled fighter, Arthur ducked and pushed him to the floor from behind. Merlin clutched onto the handle of his tankard, watching the scene unfold with dread. Arthur watched the man drag himself up from the floor with folded arms, his manner cool and collected, not angry.

'I'm gonna make you pay for that,' the man snarled.

'I'd like to see you try,' Merlin snorted in amusement. _Oops! _The man began to advance on Merlin who quickly straightened his face and turned away like he'd said nothing. The bully put his fingers to his lips and let out a whistle. Immediately, the door opened again and, this time, in walked about twenty people who congregated in the room, ready to fight. _Double oops!_

Merlin jumped up from his seat and rushed to stand behind Arthur who rebuked him. 'You just had to open your big mouth, didn't you, Merlin?' He faced Arthur who didn't look in the slightest bit amused. All of a sudden, another man stood up – a customer who had been drinking in there before they'd arrived. He had long hair which, considering his scruffy beard and clothes, was actually quite tidy and an Irish accent.

'You two have gotten yourselves in a bit of a pickle, haven't you?' he asked quite calmly, holding his drink.

'You should get out of here while you have the chance,' Arthur told him.

This new man took a swig of his ale. 'You're probably right,' he replied. And then he did the most amusing thing. He handed the 'bully-man' his now empty tankard. In surprise, the man took it and the Irish man smiled at him before punching him straight in the face.

After a lengthy, vicious and probably-amusing-to-watch fight, everything stood still. The Irish man – who'd introduced himself as Gwaine during the punch-up – stood up groaning. He'd been stabbed in the leg defending Arthur. Unable to stand properly, he fell and hit his head, knocking himself unconscious. Arthur and Merlin rushed over to him and Merlin immediately pulled an old rag from his pocket, tying it above the wound to ease the blood flow.

'How is he?' Arthur asked.

'Not good,' Merlin replied, evaluating the growing pool of blood on the floor. 'He's losing a lot of blood.'

XXX

With some help from the villagers, Arthur managed to place the rogue who'd started all this in the stocks while Merlin put Gwaine over his horse to take him back to Gaius. After telling the villagers they'd always get help from Camelot and, in doing so, revealing Arthur's identity, they left the tavern and rode home. Once they arrived, they took him straight to the physician's chambers, carrying the still unconscious and bleeding man in Merlin's bed. Merlin ran off to get Gaius the necessary equipment to heal Gwaine and, as he went, he heard Arthur telling the physician how Gwaine saved his life. Merlin smiled. Arthur did have a heart, and a good one.

Merlin pottered around Gaius' cupboards and shelves looking for everything the physician had asked for when he realised he had not seen Morgana today. He felt bad because the last time they met, a lot of information had been discussed, not least the fact that he loved her. And they'd kissed! They'd kissed! He stopped fiddling with the bottles as the memory of that wonderful moment came flooding back to him, hitting all his senses. He'd go and see her tomorrow, for sure.

**AN… I know I said I was done with taking scenes from the series but, seeing as many of you preferred to me to bring Gwaine in rather than Lancelot or anyone else, I eventually decided to stick to the way the BBC producers did it, which also means I have moved onto series 3! However, as I have already said, I will not be sticking to the plot here on in, just borrowing a couple of scenes here and there for my own use. No copyright infringement intended though and all that… So, let's see how bringing Gwaine into the mix affects Mergana's relationship, shall we?! **

**Oh, and I know I say this a lot, but you truly don't understand how much your lovely reviews keep me motivated, they really do. Special shout outs to 'SorenDevin', 'EllieMJayx' and 'narnianofcairparavel' for your on-going support… big hugs to you guys! I'd also like to thank 'Mediatrix' for your latest review. Your ideas were extremely helpful and they have given me some ideas about where to take the story, so thank you! **

**Obviously, thank you to everyone else who reads, favourite, follows and reviews my story; I'm more than extremely grateful.**

**Now I'll shut up before the AN gets any longer…**


	27. Chapter 27

Despite Merlin's desperate hopes that he could see Morgana and then get a peaceful night, obviously, he got anything but. Gwaine, who was recovering nicely, took it upon himself to go to the tavern for the afternoon, where he managed to rack up quite a bill: fourteen quarts of mead, three flagons of wine, five quarts of cider and four dozen pickled eggs. Funnily enough, neither Merlin or Gwaine (and Gwaine's new friends whom he claimed shared these beverages) could pay the bill so, promising the none-too-happy innkeeper that Arthur would pay it instead, Merlin grabbed Gwaine and they made their escape.

This, however, did not prove to be easy. Gwaine was a very well built man, with the consequence that he weighed a bit more than Merlin, who was having quite a struggle to drag him back to the his room. Instead, he thought that he could take him to the armoury; there Gwaine could sleep off his intoxication and Merlin could get on with cleaning Arthur's armour for the melee.

'Merlin,' a woman's voice called from the courtyard steps, as he struggled across from the tavern to the armoury with what was essentially a dead weight clinging to his shoulders. Merlin came to a rapid halt; he knew that voice – he'd have known it anywhere – it belonged to Morgana. He turned his head around, which was all he could manage considering, and watched as she, hooded, scuttled down the steps over to him.

'What are you doing here?' he hissed. This was a more dangerous place than any they'd met at before; _anybody_could see them here.

'I was coming to see you,' she told him, eyeing Gwaine with such a look that Merlin couldn't decide whether it was curiosity, amusement or disgust. But he ignored this and gave her a stern stare. She was out, at night, wearing a hooded cloak. They both knew where she usually went in those conditions. 'Honest, I wanted to talk to you. I wasn't going to see Morgause, Merlin,' she insisted, her tone carrying a hurt streak. He immediately felt bad for making her become defensive. Of course she'd been coming to see him. He nodded, smiling, to show he believed her.

'Who's your new friend?' she enquired, indicating her head towards a very drunk and very helpless Gwaine who, had Merlin not been gripping by the upper arms, would not have been able to stand up.

'This… this is Gwaine,' he informed her, tightening his grip on the drunkard as he nearly fell flat on his face.

'Right. Gwaine. Of course,' she nodded, still looking him up and down with that strange expression on her face. 'And where are you going with Gwaine?'

'The armoury. You couldn't give me a hand, could you?' he asked desperately, very out of breath – Gwaine was becoming rather heavy.

'Me?' she hesitated. 'Oh no, I er-'

'-Please?' he begged; he wasn't sure how much longer he hold Gwaine up.

'Oh alright,' she said, clearly flustered. Merlin could understand why – she was a Lady, a lady of high standing within the court and, therefore, not accustomed to carrying strange drunks around a courtyard at night. Not that Merlin was used to it either but there was no one else around he could ask, so it had to be her. She awkwardly went the other side of the pair and took Gwaine's left arm.

''Ello love,' he grinned at her. Merlin winced; he knew that wouldn't go down well. He was right; he looked around Gwaine at Morgana to see her glaring at him, evidently unimpressed with Gwaine's behaviour. As quickly as they could manage, they dragged Gwaine over to the armoury where, once inside with the door closed, they dumped him in a corner on the floor. Merlin took off his overcoat and threw it over the already sleeping man, shaking his head.

'Interesting choice in friends,' she remarked, _still_ observing Gwaine with mixed judgements.

'Ignore him, Merlin muttered, picking up Arthur's sword and a cloth and setting to work on it.

'What are you doing?' she asked, sitting on the bench next to him.

'Cleaning Arthur's armour for the melee,' he replied, rubbing the sword clean. Then he remembered she'd been looking for him. 'What did you want to see me for?' he wondered.

'You didn't come and see me yesterday. You said you would but you didn't,' she explained, suddenly becoming rather sulky. _God, women! _

'You're so used to getting what you want, aren't you?' Oh damn his mouth and it's autonomous mind!

'What's that supposed to mean?' she asked defensively, moving back from him slightly.

'Nothing, sorry. Um, Arthur wanted to go hunting and on the way back we stopped in some tavern where we got into a fight an picked up him,' he explicated, nodding his head in Gwaine's direction. Gwaine who was now snoring not very quietly.

'Oh,' she replied. 'I thought… Oh never mind.' Merlin was curious. _She thought what?_

'No, tell me,' he insisted, putting the sword and cloth to one side so she had his undivided attention. 'Tell me,' he repeated, grasping at her hands when she just looked at the floor.

'I thought maybe you wouldn't want to see me after what happened,' she muttered, refusing to look him in the eye. _Really? How on earth could she believe that?_

'Morgana, of course I wanted to see you. I've thought about nothing else since you kissed me, well, apart from when some rather large idiot tried to cave my head in with a pot in the tavern yesterday…' He realised he was rambling, cut off and sighed.

'Me neither,' she admitted quietly.

'Would you mind if I returned the favour?' he asked suddenly. _What? _He never meant to say that. He'd been thinking it but he was not supposed to say it! She looked up at him in surprise. 'Never mind, it was a stupid idea. I'm sorry,' he mumbled, quickly trying to rectify his mistake and sliding backwards a little across the bench to put some distance in between them; he was getting far too ahead of himself.

But she moved with him. 'I'd like that,' she smiled. Her whole face lit up when she smiled. She was beautiful anyway, easily the prettiest woman in and around Camelot, but she was even more beautiful when she smiled. Merlin grinned back at her, unable to stop himself; her smile was infectious.

She sat still and waited for him to make a move. Now that he'd suggested it, he wasn't quite sure what to do. Very awkwardly, he placed his hands either side of her face, keeping his eyes locked on hers. As he moved closer, he could tell Morgana was holding her breath. _You shouldn't be doing this,_ his conscience told him. _She's the King's ward, all but Arthur's sister, and you're just a serving boy. She deserves better._ But, as he often did, Merlin ignored that stupid little voice and kissed her. It was gentle at first but, after a while, she begun to cling to him tightly, making the kiss more urgent, like she wanted more and he didn't stop her. Someone else, however, did.

'Mmph.' A grunt from Gwaine made them both jump apart. They looked over to find him stirring; he wasn't quite awake yet but he was in the process of opening his eyes. Merlin prayed to the gods, like he knew Morgana probably was doing so, that the inebriated man hadn't heard what they'd been seeing and, more than anything else, Merlin hoped Gwaine hadn't seen them kiss.

**AN … Two**** chapters**** in one day again****?**** Yaaaay! So, has Gwaine seen them? If he has, what's he going to do about it? I guess they can only be thankful it wasn't Arthur or Uther… Not quite sure when I'll post again; hopefully tomorrow or Sunday but, failing that, it might not be until midweek what with the grand prix and going back to my final half-term in school ****ever ****(Cue Kim wanting to cry as she reads this…)****!**** Please keep giv****ing me feedback my dear readers, it does make me smile!**


	28. Chapter 28

'What are you two love-birds chattering about?' Gwaine slurred, sitting up very unsteadily – he was still drunk. Merlin glanced at Morgana to see her eyes widen in panic and he couldn't help his own heart racing a dozen times faster than normal.

'L-love birds?' he stammered. 'We're not love birds.'

'Merlin, it was a joke,' Gwaine informed him slowly, like he was stupid not to realise it.

'Oh,' Merlin feigned a laugh. 'Of course it was a joke. Ha!' Gwaine looked at him a bit warily which was, quite frankly, rich seeing as he was the drunk one here.

'So, who's your lady friend?' the Irishman asked with a wink.

But before Merlin had a chance to answer, Morgana stepped in, rather unappreciative of being referred to like that.

'I am the Lady Morgana, King Uther's ward,' she told him, putting on quite the regal voice for effect.

Oh, a noble. Shame,' Gwaine replied, wrinkling his nose at her like he'd just smelled horse dung. 'What is your problem?' she queried, his disdain not going unnoticed by any means.

'He doesn't like nobles,' Merlin cut in before Gwaine could land himself in anymore trouble. Gwaine had told him, earlier, how his father, a knight, was killed fighting in Caerleon's army, leaving his mother penniless. When she asked the king for help, he turned her away, hence Gwaine's dislike of nobles. However, Merlin didn't add all this in, deciding if Gwaine wanted Morgana to know, he'd tell her himself.

'I might make an exception for you though, love,' Gwaine chuckled, pointing a finger at Morgana. She turned to glare at Merlin who just shrugged apologetically – what was he supposed to do about it? It wasn't his fault… But that wasn't important right now; they needed to know whether or not Gwaine had seen them. But asking him outright clearly wasn't the way to go about it because, if he hadn't seen them, then they'd be giving their 'relationship' away.

'Maybe you should get him back?' Morgana suggested quietly to Merlin. Merlin sighed, looking at Gwaine who had now picked up a sword and was having an imaginary fight with it. Maybe he should.

'I can come back straight away?' he whispered but she shook her head.

'The moment's gone, Merlin,' she lamented with a sad smile. 'Maybe another time.'

'Maybe?' he asked, shocked. Why was she cooling things down all of a sudden? After all, she'd been the one desperate to see him!

'Another time,' she nodded with more surety.

'It's rude to whisper,' Gwaine stammered, staggering over to them and shakily pointing the sword he was still holding to Merlin's shoulder.

'We're not whispering, Gwaine,' Merlin humoured him, pushing the sword away from his body before taking it from the man altogether. 'Come on, let's get you home.'

Merlin and Morgana stood up, each taking one of Gwaine's arms like before. 'I don't have a home, Merlin. I live with you now because you're my best friend. The best friend I ever had!' he cried, throwing his arms around Merlin's thin neck. _Oh dear._ He heard Morgana chuckle slightly – well at least someone was finding the predicament amusing, because he certainly wasn't – and he turned his head to face her.

'What?' he mouthed.

'If it wasn't so tragic, it would be sweet,' she replied she whispered back, trying to hide the smile that was playing on her lips. Merlin huffed, not agreeing in the slightest. In fact, he was starting to worry about giving Arthur that bill. It was too late now, he'd already left it on the table in the Prince's room with a note – it seemed like the best idea at the time – but now he wasn't so sure. While Gwaine had saved Arthur's life and Arthur had said he should be given anything he wanted, he wasn't quite certain that he would stretch to paying the tavern bill. Plus he'd find some way to blame the whole thing on Merlin; he just knew it.

After a while – a lot longer than usual – they reached the top of the stairs leading to the physician's quarters.

'I hope you sort everything out,' Morgana said sincerely, ducking under Gwaine's arm so it was no longer resting on her shoulder. This put all of his weight onto Merlin who staggered a little.

'Me too.'

'Goodnight,' she muttered, reaching to his cheek to give it a small peck. She pulled away and saw Merlin blush, making her smile.

'Goodnight,' he managed to get out, doing everything he could not to drop Gwaine and lift his hand to his cheek; his cheek which felt like it was burning. He watched as she went down the spiral staircase, long green skirts flowing after her like an emerald, satin river, before getting his act together and pushing open the door.

Eventually dragging Gwaine up the second, significantly smaller flight of steps, he dumped him rather unceremoniously on the floor. _He_ was going to sleep in his own bed tonight. Taking off his boots, he watched Gwaine chest rise and fall as the man snored once more and he unexpectedly felt pity. It can't have been easy losing his father as a child. In some respects, being fatherless made him like Merlin but, then again, Merlin had never known his father as a child. Maybe then, he had his childhood situation in common with Morgana rather than Merlin. Deciding one blanket would be enough if he kept his clothes on, he removed the second blanket from his bed and put it gently over the sleeping Gwaine.

Considering all the thoughts bombarding his head, Merlin slept surprisingly well that night. it was probably all the activities from the last couple of days that had sent him straight into a deep sleep when his head hit the pillow.

XXX

The next morning, sunlight streaming through his small window alerted him to the fact he should wake up. He rolled his head over to look at his guest who was also just stirring. Gwaine put his hand to his eyes, blocking the light and he groaned.

'Has somebody got a bad head?' Merlin smirked, knowing the answer already which was a good thing because, instead of admitting he was hung-over, Gwaine picked up the nearest thing to his free hand – the blanket – and threw it at Merlin's face.

'What was that for?' he demanded indignantly, removing the offending object from his head and throwing it back.

'For being smug,' Gwaine replied, grumpily. Merlin couldn't suppress a small snigger.

'Well, can you actually remember anything from last night?' Merlin asked.

'There was a woman,' Gwaine told him, squinting his eyes as though trying to see through his foggy memories. Merlin blinked, trying not to reveal his panic. _He remembered Morgana! _'In the tavern. No! On the way to the tavern. Pretty girl, dark hair…' _Morgana! He was describing Morgana. He saw them kiss… _'Oh that's it! Gwen! She said her name was Gwen.'

'Is that it?' Merlin asked, trying not to sound guilty.

Gwaine screwed up his face in an attempt to think harder. 'Pickled eggs… a bill… Arthur! Hahaha! I can't wait to see Arthur's face when he gets that bill! You did give him the bill, right?'

'Mhmmm,' Merlin let out a 'phew' of relief. That seemed to be all Gwaine could recall so, whether he had seen Merlin and Morgana kiss or not, it didn't matter because he couldn't remember.

'Well I'd better get going. Arthur doesn't like to be kept waiting – he'll be grouchy is he doesn't get his breakfast on time,' Merlin declared, pulling a clean shirt over his head, ruffling his already scruffy hair. 'Please, please, please,' he begged, making a praying motion with his hands, 'stay away from the tavern and out of trouble.'

'I can't promise you that,' the rogue grinned. 'Got any food? I'm starving,' he revealed, oblivious to Merlin's desperation. Merlin left the room for a minute and came back, throwing a green apple at Gwaine – it was all he could find. 'See ya later, Merlin,' he called cheerily, as Merlin left again, preparing himself for the trouble he was surely in with Arthur.

**AN … Well, I was quite happy with the Grand Prix result so I thought I'd churn out another chapter for you guys! (Be thankful, trust me, if I'm not happy with the result, I sulk for days, just ask Kim.) ****So, what do you reckon, was Gwaine telling the truth, or did he see them and lie about it to use later? On another note, ****I'm nearly at the 100 mark with regards to reviews… fancy pushing it up there for me? Please? Pretty please? Pretty pleas****e**** with a whatever you like on top? **


	29. Chapter 29

'And you expect me to pay that?!' Arthur shouted, slamming Gwaine's tavern bill into Merlin's chest with a resounding thud as the impact rocked the servant's thin body.

Merlin shrugged pulling his best innocent face. 'You did say he was to be given anything he needed.'

'Exactly, Merlin. _Needed_. I'm sure Gwaine didn't need fourteen quarts of mead, three flagons of wine, five quarts of cider and four dozen pickled eggs. I mean four dozen pickled eggs! Who the hell needs four dozen pickled eggs, Merlin?'

Merlin stood in front of his master, unsure of what to say. His innocent face was slipping away fast.

'You'll pay for this,' Arthur told Merlin firmly, hitting him with the piece of worn parchment again.

'What?' Merlin exclaimed. 'I can't afford that!'

'No, I know you can't afford it. What I meant is I will pay the bill and you will pay by doing all my washing, polishing, fetching my food, tidying my room and running any other errands I see fit to send you on,' Arthur said very matter-of-factly, like this should have been obvious to Merlin.

'But don't I do all of that anyway?' Merlin asked, puzzled.

'Yes, you're right, you do. Have you finished cleaning my armour for the melee?' Arthur enquired. Why had he changed the topic? He was wearing his cunning 'I'm planning something horrible for my servant face' and Merlin didn't like it.

'Yes, why?' Merlin asked suspiciously, certain he wouldn't like the answer.

'Oh good,' the prince grinned. 'In that case, you can back down there and polish the armour and weapons belonging to ALL the knights. By tomorrow,' he added, clapping Merlin's cheeks either side, grinning from ear to ear like he was extremely pleased with himself. Why did Merlin always have to open his big mouth?

'Oh and while you're at it, find some flowers and send them to Gwen for me, will you?'

'Like I'll have time!' Merlin retaliated throwing his hands in the air, dropping the grubby bill in the process. 'Fine,' he huffed, storming from the room, making sure he slammed the door behind him to show Arthur he wasn't happy about this. Secretly though, he was extremely happy that Arthur was finally starting to admit his feelings for Morgana's maidservant. Then he realised that maybe him and Arthur weren't so different after all: they were both in love with people they shouldn't be and neither of them could ever be with the people they loved because of it.

XXX

'Are those for me?' asked the voice belonging to whoever Merlin had just bumped into in his hurry to deliver Gwen's flowers before returning to the armoury. He looked up, apologising. Of course, it had to be Morgana.

'Um no, they're…' he trailed off at the sight of her smile visibly disappearing. Oh why did she have to pull at his heart strings like this? 'Only kidding,' he smiled, attempting a chuckle. 'Of course they're for you.' He gave her the flowers and watched as her smile relit her face. She looked around them - they were in the lower town – ready to explain away what they were doing if anyone had seen them but it seemed no one was paying them any attention.

'Did Gwaine see us?' she asked suddenly, lowering her voice to little more than a whisper to ensure she wasn't overheard.

'I don't think so,' Merlin replied just as quietly.

'You don't _think_ so?'

'No, he didn't. He hasn't said anything. Just that he doesn't remember anything that happened after he entered the tavern so it is highly unlikely that he saw us kiss,' Merlin assured her.

'Merlin, if he saw us…' she hissed.

'I know, I know. You don't need to remind me what will happen if we're caught.' That was ironic, it was normally him reminding her of the dangers of their relationship. That's what it was now, wasn't it? A relationship? Neither of them had officially called it that out loud but they had kissed and they had admitted their love for one another. Wait… _She hasn't said she loves me,_ Merlin thought. And he realised it was true, she hadn't actually said it, it was only him who had used the word love.

He began to feel uncomfortable. Did she love him? Well, she'd hardly put herself through all these risks if she didn't. Would she?

'Merlin?' she waved her hand in front of his face.

'Sorry, what?' he stuttered.

'I said thank you for the flowers.'

'Oh, it's alright. Anything for you,' he replied, maybe a little distantly.

'I'll see you later then?' she asked, returning her voice to a whisper.

'Sure,' he nodded, watching her as she walked off, unable to stop a smile as she smelled the flowers. Drat, the flowers… Now he'd have to go back to the forest to pick up another bunch for Guinevere! Life could be mean… correction, Arthur could be mean.

XXX

'So,' Gwaine started, leaning back on Merlin's bed tossing an apple between his hands, 'What's with you and the posh girl?'

'What do you mean what's with me and the posh girl? Who's the posh girl?' Merlin asked, not looking at his friend for fear his face would give away his dishonesties. Not that he was really being honest, more buying time to actually come up with a suitable time.

'You know, Morgana is it? I saw you giving her flowers earlier,' he explained, taking a large bite out of the green fruit.

'Oh her. I- er, Arthur told me to,' he lied.

'Right?'

'Yeah. Um, she's had a hard time recently and he just wanted to cheer her up so he sent me to get her some flowers. You know women, they like flowers.'

'Yes, I know women,' Gwaine smirked, mouth full of apple, not a very attractive a look if Merlin was totally honest – something he probably hadn't been in a while. He cringed slightly at this thought. What had happened to him? He'd never been a liar, not if you excluded hiding his magic.

'Of course you do, Gwaine,' Merlin sighed.

'Hey! What's that supposed to mean?' he asked indignantly.

'Nothing, nothing,' Merlin said quickly, trying to deflate the situation before it ended in argument; he didn't have the energy for one of those.

'Hmph. I'm off to the tavern,' Gwaine informed Merlin, standing up and throwing the apple core out of the open window.

'Gwaine!'

'What? Come with me if you like?' Gwaine offered, already out of the room and half way across the next one. He clearly had no intention of waiting for Merlin even if he did want to join him. Merlin groaned and threw himself down in his bed. Why did life have to get so complicated all of a sudden?

**AN … Apologies for the less than long length but I was in a rush to get something written because I haven't posted since Saturday. I know it's not a very exciting chapter but hey, nobody's life is exciting every minute of every day, plus my English coursework is driving me craaaazy! Seriously, it's making me cry, so the less said about that the better before I sprout white hair! Thank you so much for helping me cross the 100 reviews barrier. To reach over 100 reviews on my first full-length fanfiction is really incredible (well, it is to me anyway) so thank you all sososososo much! Love you all! **


	30. Chapter 30

The king called another large feast in the main hall that night (he must have been bored, Merlin guessed) to which, it seemed, the whole of Camelot was welcome. So, naturally, the whole of Camelot – or there about – went. Merlin didn't blame them in the slightest; the villagers were poor and could barely afford to feed themselves one good meal a week, he wouldn't have passed up the chance for a free, proper meal had he been one of them.

Merlin tottered about, to-ing and fro-ing from Arthur to the kitchen and back, for a bit before Arthur asked him if he'd like to sit down for a short while. Gratefully, he took embraced the opportunity with very open arms and practically ran to sit by Gaius before Arthur could change his mind.

'Hungry, Merlin?' Gaius asked, looking very amused as he watched Merlin shovel his chicken and greens down his famished throat.

'Mph, very,' he mumbled back, small pieces of food escaping his mouth as he did so. Then he looked around – he'd never really seen a great feast from this side of the hall before, he'd always been serving Arthur up at the high table, never having a chance to eat for himself. It was strange, but it was definitely nice. Everyone was chatting away to each other merrily and the atmosphere was just lovely. He continued letting his gaze wander until his eyes came to rest upon Morgana. She looked stunning tonight – not that she didn't always look amazing, of course she absolutely did – wearing a burgundy floor length gown with no sleeves, but a gold chain holding it up around her neck.

He stared at her appreciatively before noticing she was also staring, but not at him, somewhere behind him. He turned around; the only place she could possibly be looking was the knights' table, but why? He glanced back at her and then back at the table. Sat next to Percival was… Gwaine? What on earth was he doing there? He wasn't a knight! Knight or not, he was sat with them, drinking, laughing and eating like they were all the best of friends. Merlin wasn't jealous, he wasn't the jealous type, but he couldn't help feeling slightly annoyed at Gwaine. He'd been Arthur's servant and trusted confidante for over two years now and he considered himself to be on good terms with the knights, especially Percival and Leon, but never once had they asked him to join them at their table.

His musings stopped, however, when the very person he was annoyed at gave him even greater reason to fuel his irritation. Gwaine turned his head away from laughing at Percival's jokes for a moment, to look at Morgana. Quickly looking back to her, Merlin saw her smile. It was only a little one, but it was definitely enough of a change in expression to be called a smile. And Gwaine smiled back. _Woah! _Gwaine _hates_ nobles! Doesn't he? Merlin recalled his words the other night, the ones that were something like 'I'd make an exception for you', but he'd been drunk, he didn't mean it. He couldn't have…

Actually, more to the point, why was Morgana smiling at him in the first place? She was spoken for – sort of. Plus she'd never shown anything other than disgust for Gwaine; he was nothing more than a common drunkard as far as she was concerned. No. Merlin was taking this completely out of proportion. She'd simply been looking around the room – much like he had been – and accidentally caught Gwaine's eye. As someone high up, she couldn't exactly ignore him so she smiled out of politeness. Of course, that was it; Merlin had no reason to worry whatsoever. Even so, he looked at the pair one last time but neither of them was looking at the other anymore – they'd both gone back to their conversations – Gwaine with Percival and Morgana with Uther.

'Merlin? Arthur wants you,' Gaius told him, sounding quite far away. Merlin blinked and brought himself back to the present to find Gaius shaking his arm.

'Oh, right,' he muttered, a little out of it.

'Are you alright?' Gaius asked, sounding extremely concerned.

'I'm fine,' Merlin nodded, assuring him. The servant looked at Arthur to find him looking none too happy. He raised his arms and eyebrows as if questioning what on earth Merlin was doing sitting around before snapping his fingers indicating he wanted Merlin's service back up at the top table. With an enrage sigh, Merlin stood up from the bench. Would it kill the prince to say please? Just once? _Honestly! The man could be a nightmare! _But then Merlin felt shameful, after all, he'd been the one doing something wrong, not Arthur.

XXX

The night came to a close and, instead of remaining seated at the high table, its occupants had gotten up and moved around the room talking to people. After half an hour or so of this socialising, Morgana made a beeline for Merlin who was stood behind Arthur while he openly and shamelessly flirted, once again, with Guinevere.

'Merlin,' she smiled warmly, looking genuinely pleased at the chance to see and speak to him. 'Would you be a gentleman and escort me back to my chambers? It seems my maid is too busy,' she said innocently but loudly, making sure Arthur and Gwen could hear her. She wasn't being mean about it, merely playful, even laughing afterwards to prove it. Gwen looked suitably embarrassed, but Arthur took her arm and went to continue their conversation when he noticed Merlin and Morgana were still standing beside them.

'Well go on then, Merlin. Do as Morgana has asked. Chop, chop!' Arthur added, clapping. Merlin narrowed his eyes at the prince before offering Morgana his arm and leading her out of the stuffy hall.

'How are you?' he asked once outside.

'I'm well, thank you, and yourself?' she enquired, rearranging their arms so she was now holding his hand. He looked down at their entwined fingers, debating pulling away for fear of being seen, but he didn't… he couldn't.

'I'm alright,' he replied eventually. 'Maybe this isn't such a good idea,' he pointed out, lifting their hands to show what he meant. 'Anyone could see us.'

'Stop worrying, Merlin.'

'Morgana,' hesitated, coming to a stop.

'Yes, Merlin?' He looked at her – really looked at her. Her eyes were wide and her face expressionless, so innocent. He couldn't believe he was about to ask her this.

'Do you love me?' he blurted out, wishing he hadn't straight away. He had no right to question her like this. She frowned, evidently puzzled. Merlin stood frozen, holding his breath, awaiting her answer. She said nothing for a while and he noticed that, in his unconscious eagerness to ask her the question, he'd accidentally backed her against the wall.

'Is that what's bothering you?' she asked quietly.

'Bothering me?'

'Merlin, you're as easy to read as a book,' she told him, placing her small hands softly on his chest, 'I knew something was bothering you as soon as I set eyes on you tonight. You were fidgety and distant, it wasn't that hard to work out something was wrong.'

'Oh.' He hadn't realised he was _that_ easy to work out.

'And in answer to your question: yes. Yes, I love you, Merlin. I really do…' It sounded like there was a 'but' coming and he wasn't mistaken. 'It's just difficult, you know? I've never done this before so falling in love with someone I shouldn't, let's just say it's not easy.' She stopped and looked… well, he couldn't quite work out how she looked. She absent-mindedly stroked his chest but refused to meet his eyes.

'What is it?' Merlin asked her urgently. Had he upset her?

'Nothing, it's just, well, that's the first time I've admitted that, even to myself.'

'I know exactly how you feel, if it helps? Both with the 'it's not easy' thing and admitting feelings,' he explained, for he did. She simply nodded and smiled, taking his hand walking off once more. He felt a massive sense of relief, humungous even. She loved him and there was no lie in her eye when she said it. A lot happier, he walked by her side, a new spring in his step.

'Have you given that healing bracelet to Morgause yet?' she wondered aloud curiously, snuggling closer into Merlin's bony shoulder. It can't have been comfortable, especially considering the fact they were walking, but she didn't complain.

'No. No, I haven't, not yet,' he replied, realising that it had actually slipped his mind, what with Gwaine and his antics.

All of a sudden, they heard the voice of someone they both never wanted to hear again and, when they rounded the corner, they bumped straight into that same person. 'Is now a good time?' the sarcastic voice sounded.

'Morgause!' Morgana gasped, clutching at her heaving chest in shock. The woman looked between the two of them, clearly angry. She'd heard every single word and the three of them knew it…

**A****/****N … UH OH! They really should have been more careful, shouldn't they? What's Morgause going to do now? Keep sending reviews my way, you lovely readers… ****Please, just tell me what you like and what you don't? With regards to the story, I mean. Although if you urgently feel the need to share any of your other likes and dislikes about the world, go ahead… **


	31. Chapter 31

'Hello, Morgana,' she smiled. However, there was no warmth in her smile; her eyes were narrowed and dark and the smile didn't reach them. There was a clear glint of evil in those dark, piercing eyes and neither Morgana nor Merlin missed it. Instinctively, Morgana dropped Merlin's hand like a hot coal although it was a bit late – Morgause had heard their conversation and already seen their entwined hands. 'Well, this looks quite cosy, doesn't it?' she said slyly, roaming her eyes pointedly over the pair and Morgana realised that while she'd dropped Merlin's hand, she was now clutching his arm in terror. But she didn't let go.

'Does the king know you two are…' she waggled her fingers in their direction with a mischievous playing on her thin lips, 'No, of course he doesn't,' she finished, erupting into an ugly, ringing laughter. The hair on Morgana's arms and the back of her neck stood on edge and she felt Merlin tense up.

'What do you want, Morgause?' she asked, struggling to keep the fear out of her small voice. Endeavouring to keep up her bravado, Morgana stood up straight, holding her head up high and releasing her grip on Merlin. She was not going to let this woman get one over on her. Morgause smirked but didn't say anything, making it rather difficult for Morgana not to feel afraid. She glanced at Merlin out of the corner of her eye – he was white with horror and rooted to the spot. Damn it, she needed his help!

'What. Do. You. Want?' she repeated slowly, firmly, through very gritted teeth. She was the King of Camelot's beloved war; she was in charge here, not the manipulative sorceress stood in front of her.

'He's a servant,' Morgause stated, giving Merlin a filthy look which made him flinch.

'What of it?' Morgana retorted, breathing far too heavily to appear at ease.

'You're a noble,' Morgause replied, once again stating the obvious. What had happened to her smart, oily talk?

'Yes I am,' Morgana agreed, raising her head a little more. At least Morgause had not forgotten Morgana position, although she doubted it bothered her much; Morgause wasn't the type of woman to be easily scared by someone else's position above her own.

'You think he can help you? Give you more than I can?' she snapped, grabbing at Morgana's cold arm. Morgana wrenched her arm away quickly and it seemed to wake Merlin out of his frightened trance.

'Don't touch her!' he shouted.

Morgause rounded on Merlin, seething. 'Who are you to tell me what to do, serving boy?' she spat, her hair whipping him in the face as she wheeled around so fast.

He didn't give into her an inch, however. In fact, he took a step forward. Merlin might have had a thin frame but he was by no means short and he towered above her as he spoke. 'Someone who doesn't want to use her for my ends, Morgause. Someone who truly wants to help her. Someone who has a heart full of love, not greed and evil.'

Out of his pocket, he pulled her healing bracelet and threw it to the floor at her feet, glaring at her defiantly. Morgana felt some sort of warmth rising inside her as she stared at Merlin open-mouthed. He was standing up to Morgause for her, all positions forgotten, and she felt a surge of love for him, so much so that it nearly brought tears to her eyes, but she shook herself out of it. Now wasn't the time to be getting all soppy.

'That's all very touching but you'll have a heart full of nothing when the king finds out about the pair of you and executes you. Then who's to stop me getting exactly what I want?' She laughed a breathless, empty-of-emotion laugh and, with a jolt, Morgana realised she almost felt sorry for her. Morgause had nobody to care for, to care about her. Did she even know what it was like to feel love?

'I will,' Merlin declared, standing up straight.

With a flick of her blonde head, Morgause sent Merlin flying backwards into the wall, nearly taking Morgana with him. He crumpled to the floor noiselessly, determined not to let her win. Morgana stood helpless and watched as Morgause glided along the floor and picked him up by the neck. _Why wasn't he fighting back?! _

'You cannot beat me, servant. You see, I'm far more powerful than you could ever dream of being,' she hissed, leaning right into his ear. He had magic as well, why wasn't he using it? Morgana could not, for the life of her, understand why Merlin wasn't retaliating. Morgause's eyes burned amber again and Merlin was thrown down to the side where he scraped across the floor.

That was it. Morgana began to tremble with explicit anger and, all of a sudden, Morgause was lying face down on the floor about ten feet away. She looked at Merlin to find him staring back at her with a weird expression on his face.

'How did you do that?' she asked him.

'Do what?' he countered.

'That,' she pointed at Morgause's still frame.

'Morgana, that wasn't me. That was you,' he insisted, standing up slowly. He exhaled with a hiss, he'd obviously hurt his back. She moved towards him, reaching out a hand to help him up and he accepted it gratefully. She slid her arm around his back and other his elbow the other side, trying to support him; he was surprisingly light for a man, not that she'd lifted many men before, only Arthur when he'd hurt himself playing as a child, and Gwaine the other night.

They both looked at Morgause, unsure of what to do. Her side rose and fell steadily; she was alive.

'Was it really me?' Morgana whispered, unsure whether she was amazed or disgusted with herself. She felt slightly better knowing Morgause was alive because she didn't think she'd be able to live with the guilt of killing someone, even someone like her. However, there was a small part of her that wished Morgause were dead; at least then they wouldn't be in any danger.

'Yes, you did.'

'How? I didn't mean to, I mean, I don't even know how to… I can't control it, I…' She gave up trying to explain herself and allowed Merlin to stroke her hair in an attempt to calm her.

XXX

'Merlin?' came the unwelcome voice of a new arrival to the scene. They both whirled around to the direction of the unmistakeable voice of Gwaine, arranging themselves so they hid Morgause's unconscious body. They regarded Gwaine carefully, not sure how much he'd seen or heard.

'Who's that?' he asked. Damn, they'd clearly not done a very good job.

'Morgause,' Morgana replied. _What? Why was she telling him this? Weren't they in enough trouble?_ Gwaine raised his eyebrows and shrugged his shoulders, showing he had no idea who Morgause was. 'Gwaine, will you help us move her body?'

Merlin moved quickly so he was stood in front of Morgana, between her and Gwaine.

'What are you doing?' he whispered desperately.

'He can help us,' she muttered back, pushing him out of the way.

'Is she dead?' Gwaine enquired, moving a little closer and leaning around Morgana so he could see the woman on the floor. Merlin shook his head. 'What happened?' he asked.

'She was trying to hurt me so Merlin pushed her out of the way. She lost her balance and fell. She must've hit her head,' Morgana explained, not quite telling the truth, but it was close enough to make Merlin want to panic. Since when did she trust Gwaine? She was telling him far too much! If Gwaine wondered why Morgause was trying to hurt Morgana, he kept it to himself.

Without any more questions, Gwaine – who was remarkably sober – lifted Morgause's limp body from the floor and threw her clumsily over his shoulder. Without waiting for him to ask where he was taking her, Morgana walked off, taking Merlin's hand once more, indicating Gwaine should follow. She led him to Morgause's chambers, amazed that nobody saw them. Gwaine dumped Morgause on the bed.

'Shall I get Gaius?' he asked,

'No!' Merlin and Morgana shouted together.

'Alright,' Gwaine replied hurriedly, holding his hands up like they were holding a sword to his neck.

'We should leave before she wakes up,' Merlin murmured so only Morgana could hear. Gwaine knew far too much already. She nodded and moved towards the door. He followed and so did Gwaine.

'I'll just escort Morgana back to her chambers and I'll be straight home,' Merlin told Gwaine, wanting him to leave them alone, although he knew they'd have to talk at some point – that was twice Gwaine had saved Merlin's skin and he wouldn't let this one go so easily.

'Okay. See you later then. My Lady,' he nodded at Morgana before sauntering off down the corridor, leaving them alone once more.

**A/N … ****Staying in ****bed ****with a hot water bottle this morning but I decided to write another chapter because I'm as eager as you guys to find out what's going to happen (I know I should already know, but still). Hope you're enjoying!**


	32. Chapter 32

'Will you stay a while?' Morgana begged, just as Merlin was about to follow Gwaine's footsteps and retire for the night.

'I'm not so sure that's a good idea,' Merlin replied. He really did want to, but he didn't want to get caught either.

'Please?' she beseeched. 'What if Morgause wakes up and comes looking for me?' Merlin knew Morgana was clutching at straws, saying anything to make him stay, but she did have at least half a point. The idea that Morgause could come round soon was more than feasible and she wasn't likely to be happy with Morgana when she did. Understatement; she'd be fuming and if they weren't careful, both Merlin and Morgana were going to pay heavily for it. That needed to be sorted out soon…

'Morgana, Arthur has more than tripled your guards, I'm sure you'll be fine,' he tried, not mentioning the fact that, if she wanted to, Morgause could blast the guards away with one flick of her eyes. When Morgana frowned and stuck out her full bottom lip in a pouty expression, Merlin tried another tactic. 'What if the first thing she does when she regains consciousness is go to the King? It won't exactly be helpful if I'm found in your chambers.'

He let her mull this thought over, not pushing it any further in case she realised what he was trying to do. It was true though, if Morgause did run straight to Uther he'd more than possibly want to check Morgana's chambers to ensure there was no truth in Morgause's allegations so Merlin being in them wouldn't help the situation, should it arise.

It appeared Morgana saw sense, however much she disliked it for, after a fashion, she agreed. 'Fair enough, but you can't avoid this for ever, Merlin.' _Damn, _she was the furthest thing from stupid Merlin thought he'd ever met. 'We'll have to talk soon.'

'We will, I promise,' he told her, already starting to leave.

'Merlin?' she called to his back. He turned around impatiently. 'Thank you.'

'What for?' he asked, confused.

'I don't know. For making everything right, I guess.' His expression obviously gave away his confusion. 'You just make me feel better.'

'I haven't done anything…'

'Yes you have. You just have to be around and everything that's wrong makes itself right somehow. You're all I have,' she explained.

'Oh come on, you have Gwen, Arthur, Uther…'

'You know what I mean,' she muttered sadly, fiddling with her dress. And he did. He knew exactly what she meant. With regards to talking openly to someone, he was all she had in the world; he could understand why that would make her feel lonely. A small part of his heart swelled at the knowledge that he was all she had but then he felt sad for her. A wonderful woman such as herself should have more; she deserved so more than he could ever offer her.

She leaned in and kissed his cheek. He resisted the urge to touch it; his skin always felt like it was on fire whenever she touched him and he couldn't help but notice the pool of warmth coming together at the pit of his stomach. _NO MERLIN! _He could never hope for that.

'Goodnight, Morgana,' he whispered, letting go of her hand and leaving before his mind could conjure up any more dangerous thoughts.

XXX

'You took a good while saying goodnight.'

Merlin entered his room, worn out in the extreme, to find Gwaine sat up on his bed, perfectly awake. He rested his head on the wall behind him and folded his arms across his chest looking more sober and deadly serious than Merlin had ever seen in the short time he'd known him.

'Can we do this in the morning?' Merlin asked fruitlessly, already knowing the answer as he rubbed his aching neck and back. _When could he get his bed back? _It wasn't the comfiest bed ever but Merlin was starting to appreciate more and more every night he spent without it.

'No. We're going to do this now,' Gwaine decided stubbornly. Merlin sighed and sunk to the floor against the closed door; if they had to do this now, he might as well try and get as comfortable as possible. 'What's going on between you and the king's ward?' Gwaine queried, cutting straight to the chase.

'I… She… We… Nothing,' he finished eventually.

'Don't lie, Merlin,' Gwaine muttered. For goodness' sake, they'd only known each other a few days and Gwaine had spent those few days drunk. How did he know he was lying?! 'Are you together?'

'As together as we can be,' Merlin conceded, feeling like he'd just signed his own execution warrant. 'I know how you feel about nobles, Gwaine, but she's different. Morgana is beautiful and kind; she is one of the most thoughtful people I think I have ever met.' _Oh well, why not blurt everything you can out, eh, Merlin? _

Gwaine cocked his eyebrow in a more than disbelieving manner. 'Who's that other woman?' he asked, dropping the topic of Merlin and Morgana's 'relationship'.

'A friend of Morgana's,' Merlin explicated, trying not to say too much again.

'A friend. Right. Knock out her friends often, does she?' he scoffed sarcastically.

'She used to be a friend, but then…' Merlin began to wonder how much of the truth he could tell Gwaine. Seeing as lying wasn't getting him very far, maybe telling the truth – or bits of it – might work better. 'She wants to kill the King.'

'Good on her,' Gwaine responded bluntly, no hint of a laugh anywhere; he really hated nobles.

'No, Gwaine, not 'good on her',' Merlin snapped. 'If she makes an attempt on the King's life, she'd be putting Morgana's life at risk!'

'You really care about her, don't you?' Gwaine suddenly spouted. Merlin nodded, unable to argue anymore.

'Don't say anything, Gwaine, please? If not for Morgana then for me? I am your 'best friend ever', remember?' Merlin tried, attempting to bring some form of humour into the situation.

'Did I say that?' Gwaine asked, scratching the back of his head with a yawn.

'Yup, amongst other things.' He waited with baited breath to see what Gwaine's response would be, not even trying to hide his desperation. If Gwaine wanted to, he could bring Merlin's whole world crashing down on his shoulders but, hopefully, he'd have no reason to want to. Merlin had helped him and put him up, after all.

'Our little secret then, eh?' Gwaine said after an age with a wink. Merlin smiled with relief; it wasn't exactly a solemn promise but it was good enough for now. 'So have you two... er… you know?' he enquired, a smirk appearing on his stubble-covered face.

'No. Gwaine.' _Of course, he just would ask that!_

'Alright!' he chuckled, 'I was only asking.' The man slumped down under the think covers on the bed and rolled over onto his side.

'Gwaine, am I ever going to get my bed back?' Merlin enquired, not hoping for much, but it was worth a shot.

'Maybe,' his friend yawned. 'Not right now though.' _Of course. _Merlin was thankful that it was dark so Gwaine couldn't see him scowling. He removed his heavier clothing and settled himself into his makeshift bed on the floor; at least things had worked out for tonight. The next problem in the probably very near future was Morgause. Merlin shuddered, dreading the next confrontation with her and all the trouble it was bound to bring.

**A/N … Apologies for the wait, I've been rather busy and the grand prix hasn't done much for my good mood… Sometime soon, my best friend should provide a video trailer for this story and, I must say, I can't wait to see it because she tends to produce amazing videos. So, if you all review, she might hurry up *crosses fingers* Long shot but here's to hoping!**


	33. Chapter 33

'How much does Gwaine know?' Merlin awoke to hear the shrill voice of Morgana ringing in his ears. He rolled onto his back and turned his head to the side – the sun was higher in the sky than it normally was in the morning. This made him sit up. _Curse it! _He'd slept in late and, from the grunt that came from under the covers of his bed, Gwaine had too. Morgana came into his room, throwing the door back on its hinges in her hurry.

'Morgana,' Merlin groaned, pulling the covers over his bare chest; Gwaine, it seemed, did not mind the lady's entrance with regards to his naked torso. From past experience of pulling the covers off Gwaine to wake him up, Merlin knew the lower half of his body was probably just as naked as the visible top half, but he tried to shake this thought from his mind.

'Oh,' she came to a halt, trying to look anywhere other than a more than relaxed Gwaine.

'If you're referring to your little issue with Morgause, I know everything,' he grinned, clearly not minding her discomfort. She quickly flashed her eyes at Merlin who vigorously shook his head implying Gwaine did not actually know everything.

'Is Gaius not-'

'Oh, don't worry, he's not there,' Morgana assured him. 'I wouldn't have come barging in shouting if I thought you had company.'

'Please, don't stop on my account,' Gwaine chuckled, almost looking like he was enjoying the situation. Merlin noticed Gwaine's duvet covers slipping lower and lower down his body so decided to do something before the predicament became embarrassing for everybody; well, everybody apart from Gwaine.

'Was there anything else?' he asked Morgana who was not so subtly running her eyes over Gwaine's tanned, well-formed torso… Merlin felt a stab of jealousy – he just looked weedy compared to Gwaine.

'Um, a word, please?' she requested. 'Alone,' she added, looking pointedly in the Irish rascal's direction.

'Of course,' he replied. 'Just let me get dressed.' She nodded compliantly. He felt a bit awkward removing the blanket while she was still stood in front of him. 'Um…' he indicated to his unclothed top half.

'Oh, right, yes, sorry,' she stammered, turning around and going to wait down in the other room.

'Do you not like getting your kit off for the lady?' Gwaine asked, voice full of mock innocence with his expression matching suit.

'Shut up,' Merlin scowled at Gwaine as he pulled on a shirt over his head. He tied his neckerchief in a hurry and left Gwaine rolling around with laughter. _Urgh that man!_

'What does he know?' Morgana whispered quickly, whispered in case he could still hear.

'Just that Morgause _was_ your 'friend' but now she wants to kill the king.'

'He doesn't know about my magic?'

'No, of course not,' Merlin assured her, resting a hand on her arm. She looked down at his hand and stroked it, grateful that he was trying to comfort her.

'What about yours?' she wondered.

'No.'

'What are we going to go?' she queried, resting her head wearily on Merlin's shoulder.

'We'll think of something,' Merlin replied, caressing her long, lustrous hair, trying to keep any negativity out of his voice. But then he stopped talking; there it was again, that burning sensation at the bottom of his stomach, only this time, the feeling spread through his whole body, making him feel like his blood was on fire. Instinctively, but knowing he shouldn't, he put a finger under Morgana's chin and raised her head so they were face to face.

Slowly, he leaned forward and kissed her, trying to be gentle. It didn't stay that way for long, he couldn't help it and she wasn't resisting so he pushed his luck a little – as he was doing rather frequently these days. He put his hands either side of her face and opened her mouth, sliding his tongue inside. He felt more than heard the soft moan that came from the back of her throat and responded by pulling her ever closer at the waist. He could feel every single curve of her perfect body against his own. She ran her hands through his scruffy hair, responding wholeheartedly to this change of direction intimacy wise.

'Ahem.' They jumped apart to see Gwaine standing in the bedroom doorway, blanket wrapped around his hips.

'I should go,' Morgana muttered, visibly flustered. She was bright red in the cheeks and keeping her eyes to the floor. Before Merlin had the chance to protest, she glided out of the main door, closing it behind her.

'What?' Merlin growled at Gwaine, extremely annoyed at the untimely interruption.

'Are you going to get Arthur his breakfast any time soon?' Gwaine asked, seemingly oblivious to Merlin's anger. _What?! _

'I'm probably a bit late now,' Merlin admitted. For the first time since he'd woken up late, he realised the hell Arthur was going to give him for this.

'That's what I thought. In that case, would you mind getting me some food instead?' _He could not be serious! Does he ever think of anything other than his stomach?_

'Fine!' Merlin snapped, actually grateful for the chance to escape – he couldn't tell whether he was more mortified or angry.

'Cheers, Merlin!' Gwaine shouted as he stalked off in a huff, slamming the door hard behind him, just to make his feelings on the matter perfectly clear.

Once outside though, he didn't go to Arthur's chambers or to the kitchens; he slumped against the wall and closed his eyes. Surely he'd gone too far this time. _But she didn't stop you,_ that increasingly defiant part of his brain reminded him. This much was true; in fact, she seemed to want it just as much as he did. He touched his lips, remembering the feel of hers on them, they still burned.

'What's the matter with you?' Gaius' voice suddenly came from nowhere. Merlin opened his eyes to see the old physician limping slowly up the stairs.

'Nothing, I just… nothing,' he stumbled. It was one thing Gaius knowing Merlin had revealed his magic to Morgana, but knowing about this? Gaius would never condone it. Nor would Arthur. Or the King. Oh god, he'd gotten himself into a mess but, honestly, right now, Merlin just did not care.

**A/N… Well, erm, yeah… things progressed a bit there! If I do decide to go further I guess I'll have to update the rating… Aaaaanyway, opinions please? I'll send you all cake… (Well, I'll try, but I won't make any promises as to how hard I try)**** Not that I'm bribing you for reviews of course ;)**


	34. Chapter 34

**A/N … I would quickly like to say that, regarding my last AN, when I said the rating may go up: just some slight messing around on my part, it will not go up. However, I do find it pretty inconceivable that two adults would enter into a relationship and settle for just kissing. But I promise there will be no smut.**

'Morgana?' Arthur was outside Morgana's chambers, clearly wanting something. 'Can I come in?' _Urgh, what did he want now? _

'Yes,' she replied, despite wanting to be alone. She had a lot to think about, Merlin being just one of her worries at the moment; granted he was probably the main one, but Morgause was an issue too. He came into her room, looking a little awkward. 'What's the matter?' she asked, it wasn't like him to look so, well, timid around her.

'My father wants to see you,' he muttered, making quite a point of looking out of the window rather than at her.

'Okay,' she started, frowning. He often wanted to see her, what was the problem? 'Arthur?' she prompted, knowing something wasn't right.

'Don't get angry, Morgana,' he warned, quietly, looking like he wanted to back away. he began fiddling with his belt so he wouldn't have to make eye contact with her.

'Why would I get angry?' she asked, suspicious. Just what was going on?

'Maybe it's best if you just come with me,' he suggested, offering her his arm to escort her to the king.

'What's this about, Arthur?' Morgana asked, slipping from the seat at her dresser to stand up. Had Morgause told the king about Merlin? Or her magic? She tried her best not to let her face convey the panic that was rising inside of her. Wait, if Morgause had told Uther about Morgana's magic, he'd have just marched straight into her chambers and asked her outright. This thought appeased her a little bit, but not much.

'Morgana,' he said, facing her and taking her hand. 'Just tell the truth. I won't think any less of you and I know my father will still love you all the same.'

'Arthur! Tell the truth about what? I haven't done anything!' Morgana protested, stopping in her tracks. Morgause had told Uther everything, she just knew it. There was no way she was going in that hall to be handed a death sentence.

'Please, Morgana, come one!' he urged, tugging at her arm. She huffed indignantly but allowed him to drag her into the hall, dreading what she felt was about to happen. This was it, she was about to lose everything.

'Morgana,' Uther smiled at her, as Arthur opened the heavy wooden doors, arms wide open like was expecting an embrace. Instead of reaching out to him, Morgana stood rooted to the spot defiantly. 'How've you been?' he asked, looking a bit put out, her snub had clearly stung him. 'I've barely seen you these past few days.'

'I'm quite well,' she informed him, more formally than she usually would have done. Her nerves were getting to her quite a bit, she just couldn't help it.

'Good, that's good,' he mumbled, looking at the floor. Whatever was bothering him, he didn't seem in any sort of hurry to bring it up. Either that he was dreading the sort of reaction he could get.

'Have I done something wrong?' she asked eventually, unable to handle the suspense anymore. She thought her head was about to explode with anxiety.

'Not quite. Well I'm not sure. It's just – Morgana, don't get mad – I know how defensive you can be sometimes – it's just a question and I'm not accusing you of anything.'

'Spit it out,' she ordered, sounding slightly irate.

'Are you… in contact with a druid man?' he queried, not skirting around the subject any longer. Did he mean Merlin? No, Merlin had magic but he wasn't a druid. He couldn't possibly mean Merlin.

'No,' she answered carefully, not saying anything else to ensure she didn't land herself in any difficult situations.

'Well, that's a relief!' he exclaimed, visibly sighing.

'May I ask why you thought I was?' Her heart race began to decrease back to something like normal.

'I had some information-'

'Information?' she interrupted. At that moment, Uther stepped to the side and looked behind him, to reveal none other than Morgause appearing into view from behind the throne. It was all Morgana could do not to throw herself at the woman and throttle her. What was she thinking? Did she genuinely believe Merlin to be a druid or had she just lied to get Morgana into trouble? Morgana thought her latter suspicion was probably the correct one. She settled for frowning, not wanting to arouse Uther's suspicions any further.

'Morgause, do you still stand by your accusations against my ward?' Uther asked her seriously. So Morgause _had_ accused her of consorting with druids.

'Yes, sire,' she replied, insolently staring straight at Morgana. _Oh the little…!_

'Morgana,' Uther said, turning to face her once more, 'do you stand by your denial of this allegation?'

'Of course I do,' she answered crossly, like she was amazed he had to ask her twice.

'Right,' Uther nodded.

'For what it's worth,' Arthur suddenly muttered in her ear, making her jump – she had not noticed him approaching her – 'I believe you.' She looked at him gratefully, a slight twinge of guilt in her stomach. While she really had not been consorting with any druids, men or otherwise, she doubted Arthur would approve of her relationship with his manservant who just happened to have magic.

Uther looked to Arthur who gave a slight nod, like they were silently agreeing on something.

'Morgause, you have wrongly accused a citizen under my care – my own ward, no less – of a terrible crime. I have no choice but to banish you from the kingdom of Camelot. Should you return, it will be under pain of death. You have until the morning to collect your belongings and be on your way,' he told her.

Morgana could have laughed with relief – Morgause was to be banished from Camelot; this was one of her greatest problems solved, Morgause couldn't touch her now! She watched quite happily as Morgause bowed slowly to the King, Arthur and, lastly, Morgana before leaving the room with her head low and without any protest against her punishment. Morgana watched her leave, hoping this would be the last time she ever saw her.

'My child,' Uther came over to her and touched her arm, 'have you any idea why she may have accused you of such a crime?' He stared straight into her eyes, unnerving her slightly.

Morgana shook her head. 'None at all, Sire.' In truth, she wasn't a hundred per cent certain why Morgause had alleged she had been meeting with a druid man. Did she simply want Morgana punished for the way she'd rejected her? Morgana wasn't sure and this unsettled her more than the allegation itself. If punishment was what she was after, she was sure to be riled that her plan had failed. Riled enough to try something else, perhaps?

'I'll escort you back to your chambers,' Arthur decided, offering her his arm for the second time today. But she didn't want to go back to her chambers; she didn't want to be left alone until she knew Morgause was out of the kingdom.

'Actually, I'd like to go for a walk,' she told him.

'Would you like me to accompany you?' he asked, not sounding very hopeful. She had been hoping to go and see Merlin to tell him about what had just happened but then, looking at his face, Morgana felt an unexpected pang of guilt; she'd barely spent any time with Arthur in weeks. They'd always been close and his faith in her – as demonstrated a moment ago – never wavered, the least she could do was take a walk with him.

'Yes, I'd like that,' she smiled, taking his arm, smiling wider when his face lit up. At least she'd be safe while Arthur was around her and maybe now she could probe him a bit more about Gwen…

**A/N … I'm really sorry; I know I've been slowing down with uploading these recent chapters. Truth is, things are just so busy right now, I don't seem to have the time to update every day. So, what is Morgause playing at, eh? I'm sure we'll find out soon… I won't promise cake again, but pleased review? Your reviews make me smile and, after my biology practical exam (which, unfortunately, did not involve reproduction with Mr Jenson Button *sad face*) I could really do with something to make me smile. **

**Oh and also, I promised I'd mention my very good, if slightly crazy, friend Caitlin, who pretty much came up with the idea for this whole chapter, so big hugs for her!**


	35. Chapter 35

'Well this is nice,' Arthur commented after a good length of time walking in silence. Morgana looked around; it was sunny, which was a surprise for this time of year, and not overly cold.

'Yes, I suppose it is,' she replied.

'Morgana-'

'Arthur-' they both spoke at the same time. 'Go on,' Morgana encouraged.

'No, ladies first,' Arthur insisted, holding out his palm, emphasising she should continue.

'It's about Gwen,' Morgana started, duly noting his sharp intake of breath and a slight wince. Maybe this wasn't going to be so easy.

'On second thoughts, can I go first?' he asked in a hurry, clearly wanting to talk about anything other than her maidservant.

'No,' she laughed. 'Come on, Arthur! I'm not stupid and I know you too well, you have feelings for her, just admit it!'

'Alright, alright, keep your voice down,' he pleaded, turning his head this way and that to make sure no one had heard her. When he faced her again, he was blushing a hot pink colour which amused her greatly.

'She has feelings for you too, you know,' Morgana continued more quietly, confining her amusement to the back of her mind.

'What do you mean 'too'? I never said I- Wait, has she said anything to you about me?' he stumbled.

Morgana bit down hard on her bottom lip to ensure she didn't laugh again; the last thing she wanted to do was hurt his feelings over this or make him think she was mocking him, although, embarrassing him just a little was rather amusing, she had to admit.

'No,' she told him. 'But that doesn't mean I can't tell. I know her just as well as I know you and I know that you both have feelings for each other so…' She fell silent when she realised Arthur wasn't listening anymore, at least, he didn't look like he was listening. He was looking slightly behind her and his eyes had glazed over. She turned her head to glance over her shoulder and saw Gwen staring back at Arthur, the exact same dopey expression on her face. Well this was no good; Arthur was hardly going to open up to her when he was being distracted by the very topic of their conversation. She took his arm and guided him forwards in an attempt to move away from Gwen.

'Arthur, be honest with me,' she implored him when Gwen was in her little house and out of sight.

He sighed and took his arm from her hand, choosing to cross them both across his chest. 'Nothing can ever come of my feelings, or hers, my father would never allow it,' he said eventually. Unless Morgana was mistaken, she saw one tiny tear escape from his piercing blue eyes and it hurt; not just because Arthur was like a brother to her and it hurt her to see him upset but because she was in almost the exact same predicament as him and she knew precisely how he felt. It broke her heart knowing that there was no possible way she could ever be with Merlin properly.

'Arthur, I-' She nearly told him about Merlin, just to let him know she truly understood, but hesitated; she doubted very much that he'd be as understanding as she was being right now. He sniffed and looked up to her, wondering why she'd stopped. She thought for a bit and finally settled on saying: 'Maybe one day things will be different.' She bit her lip and looked at the floor; he'd never know how much she was hoping this would come true, both for herself and him. He didn't look very hopeful though. She reached forward and put her arms around his neck, embracing him like she had done when they were children. He placed his hand lightly on her back, shocked slightly at her sudden show of affection, but then he relaxed into the hug. They hadn't been this close in ages. After a minute or two, she pulled away and grinned at him. 'That didn't happen,' she said in a mock serious voice. 'I still think you're an arrogant pig ninety per cent of the time,' she told him, nudging his arm.

'And I still think you act like a whiny child ninety per cent of the time,' he chuckled, nudging her back.

'Hey! I'm older than you!' she protested.

'Not by much. And anyway, you're still only a woman,' he teased. She slapped his arm indignantly. That was more like it. They both laughed, happy they were back on good terms, close like they used to be. She put her hand in the crook of his elbow and continued their walk.

'I still think you should tell Gwen,' she muttered.

'Oh shut up,' he retorted, still smiling, guiding them back towards the castle.

XXX

Merlin was busy labelling some bottles for Gaius but his heart wasn't really in it and he most certainly wasn't concentrating.

'Merlin, that is a tincture of belladonna, _not_ a sleeping draught. Honestly!' Gaius reprimanded him for about the third time that afternoon. 'What's the matter with you?'

'Nothing, Merlin mumbled. 'I was just thinking.'

'Well don't. It seems to be dangerous for you,' Gaius replied, raising his eyebrows.

Merlin had been thinking, as ever, about Morgana and their kiss this morning. He couldn't help wanting to take things further, although, admittedly, he would be nervous. Merlin had never been with a woman before, not like _that_ anyway. Dare he bring this up with her? He could have done earlier had Gwaine not interrupted them, but he was scared she might reject the idea. She was a noblewoman after all, she probably wanted to wait until she was married and it was highly unlikely that she'd ever marry a servant. But she had seemed enthusiastic earlier…

'Merlin!' He snapped out of his thoughts, physically shaking his head. Arthur entered the room, not even bothering to knock on the door. 'Ah, there you are. Come on!' he ordered, already turning around to leave again.

'What? Where are we going?' Merlin asked, jumping to his feet in a fluster.

'Training!' Arthur shouted over his shoulder. Merlin groaned; he _hated_ training with Arthur; it always ended with Merlin black and blue and unable to walk properly the next day. Nevertheless, he did as he was told and hurried after the prince, all thoughts of Morgana eradicated for now.

XXX

'Where've you been all afternoon?' Merlin enquired, trying to make conversation as Arthur attacked the dummy Merlin was holding with his sword.

'With Morgana,' he grunted, hitting the dummy in the neck and almost sending Merlin hurtling backwards onto the grass.

'Oh?' Merlin responded, regaining his breath, his ears all but pricking up. Did he know about them? Had Arthur brought him here to secretly chop his head off? _Don't be ridiculous, Merlin, _he reproached himself.

'We went for a walk,' he explained between swipes, 'talked and stuff.'

'What about?' Merlin pushed, curious.

'Guinevere,' Arthur admitted honestly, putting down the sword. Oh, he didn't know then. 'My feelings,' he added, somewhat reluctantly, lifting up the visor on his metal helmet, to reveal his very sweaty face.

'So you tell Morgana about your feelings, but not me?' Merlin exclaimed in indignation. Arthur frowned at him. The number of times Merlin had tried to get Arthur to open up and he'd refused…

'She's my sister, or as good as.'

'And I'm your friend, aren't I?' he answered. He looked at the prince, waiting for a response. The corners of Arthur's mouth lifted into a smirk.

'Of course you are, Merlin,' he agreed, advancing on him. _Uh-oh. _Merlin didn't like the look of this. Arthur grabbed him, putting him quickly into a headlock and ruffled his hair hard with his fist. 'You're my very best friend,' he said mockingly as though he were talking to a baby, laughing all the while as Merlin struggled against his hold. When he finally let go, Merlin stumbled and fell. Arthur held out his hand to help him up but Merlin made a point of ignoring him, correcting his hair when he was back on his feet.

'You're not funny,' he muttered sternly through gritted teeth, sulking.

'Oh I am,' Arthur countered, still grinning far too widely for Merlin's liking. 'Come on, one more round then you can fetch me my supper,' he decided, pulling his visor back down and picking up his sword. Merlin growled; it was all he could do not to whack Arthur over his smug blonde head with the dummy…

**A/N … I actually enjoyed writing this chapter; it was all happy fluffy bunnies and rainbows and… maybe not, but still, it was nice to write everyone being happy. Reviews and all that jazz? **


	36. Chapter 36

That evening presented itself as the perfect opportunity for Merlin to pay Morgana a visit; Gaius fell asleep early and there were next to no guards wandering about the castle.

'Knock-knock,' Merlin whispered, making Morgana jump.

'Saying 'knock-knock' does not actually substitute for knocking, you know,' she hissed, looking at him in her large mirror – she had just been brushing her hair before bed, having given Gwen the night off – whilst clutching at her chest to try and calm her breathing. But she was not really angry and they both knew it which made Merlin grin.

'I'm not the only one who's forgotten how to knock, am I?' he asked sarcastically. She frowned. _What was he on abo__ut? _'This morning… you barged into my room…' he reminded her. _Oh, that. _That morning seemed like so long ago that Morgana had quite forgotten she'd gone storming to the physician's chambers in search of Merlin, finding both him and Gwaine undressed and asleep.

'Oh,' she muttered.

'Oh,' he repeated, raising his eyebrows. 'Anyway, I came to see you because Arthur mentioned something about Morgause being banished this morning?'

'Yes,' Morgana answered, rising from the stool to get into bed. 'She went to Uther with some story about me consorting with a druid man-'

'I'm not a druid,' Merlin interrupted.

'I know,' she nodded. 'Well anyway, I denied the claims, obviously, and Uther banished her for lying about me.'

'Right…' Merlin mumbled, not looking anywhere near as happy as she expected him to.

'What's wrong?' she asked. 'This is good news, isn't it?'

'Of course,' he replied, but his face didn't seem to agree with him.

'What is it?' she queried, crawling along the bed until she reached the edge where she sat, patting the duvet for him to sit next to her.

He plonked himself down and looked at the floor. 'Morgana, you don't think she's going to just leave and move on, do you? I mean, she was really angry last night. I doubt very much she's just going to let this go.'

'But she has to,' Morgana insisted. _Why was he being so negative? _The one person who could cause them any trouble had been banished from the kingdom on pain of death. 'If she comes anywhere near Camelot again, she'll be executed. Merlin, we don't have to worry about her,' she assured him, taking his hands in hers and looking him straight in the eye.

'Fine,' he nodded, but something told Morgana he still had doubts.

'Why don't you stay the night?' she asked, trying to distract him from his thoughts. She was happy and felt safe again; the last thing she wanted was for him to ruin that by putting a downer on it. He did have a habit of over-thinking things.

'Morgana, I don't think my back can take another night on that stool,' he said, making a noise that sounded something like a laugh.

'Well then don't sit there,' she replied simply.

'Where else am I supposed to-' He stopped when she motioned her head towards the bed. 'No. No, we're not ready to-'

'I wasn't suggesting we do anything!' she protested. 'I just mean why don't you lie on the bed? I'm sure we're quite capable of sharing this rather large bed without touching each other and you'd be far more comfortable,' she pointed out, sounding somewhat disappointed, or maybe offended that he didn't want to.

It wasn't that he didn't want to; Merlin would have loved nothing more than to take things _further_ but the risks were too high, for both of them. He battled with his opposing thoughts for a moment or so before looking at the woman beside him – as much as he could in the dim candle light. She was looking at him eagerly, a very expectant look on her face. _Did she have to look at him like that, it wasn't fair._

'Separate sides of the bed?' he asked.

'Of course,' she replied, smiling a pearly white smile.

'And I leave before dawn,' he stated.

'Don't you always?' she asked, rhetorically, biting down on her lip, unable to conceal her pleasure. He stood up and allowed her to move to the left side of the bed. She lay down on her back, hands on her stomach, waiting for him to get in the other side. He climbed into the right side of the bed, being very careful not to touch her as he lay down awkwardly on his back, before pulling the covers over them both.

'Merlin?'

'Hmmm?'

'Do you make a habit of sleeping with your boots on?' she giggled, biting down on her finger.

_Shoot! _He leapt out of the bed, accidentally dragging the duvet with him. Hurriedly, he pulled off his offending shoes and tucked them neatly underneath the bed, cursing himself. He couldn't have been more embarrassed if he'd tried! He was just thanking his lucky stars that he'd cleaned them the day before so they weren't too dirty.

Gingerly, he lay back down, taking care to put the duvet back over Morgana without touching her. He didn't want to give himself anymore temptation to battle against. He stared up at the ceiling feeling more than a little bit uncomfortable. He couldn't help thinking about what would happen if someone were to walk in right now.

'Are you alright?' Morgana whispered, rolling onto her side so she could see him.

'I'm fine,' he murmured, turning his head to face hers. 'You?'

'I'm fine too,' she said. Merlin didn't really know where to take the conversation from there so he remained silent.

'This is silly,' she declared after what must have been fifteen minutes. Before Merlin had the chance to ask what she meant, she grabbed hold of his arms, held them in the air and cuddled into his chest, then letting his arms drop so they formed a sort of protective barrier around her. His stomach immediately responded by turning over and not in a 'feeling sick' sort of way. He didn't think this was the wisest idea she'd ever had but he didn't stop her; a, because he didn't want to hurt her feelings and, b, because he just didn't really want to. Deep down, he liked lying with her, holding her. It made him feel like they were a proper couple with no troubles or responsibilities.

'Comfortable now?' he asked, bemused at her forwardness.

'Very,' she breathed, stroking his back with her long, slender fingers.

'Good,' he whispered in her ear. And they lay like that until, eventually, they both fell asleep, seemingly without a care in the world.

**A/N … N'awww isn't that sweet? My best friend, Kim, whom you will all know by now because I keep mentioning her, has finally made a video for the story, YAY! I l know links don't work, but you can copy and paste it into your preferred search engines, so here you go: **** watch?feature=player_embedded&v=BQCn0wb5sL8**

**I strongly advise you watch it, it's great! **

**Feel free to review…**


	37. Chapter 37

'Where've you been?'

Merlin was trudging home in the small hours of the morning and was trying to be as quiet as possible to ensure he didn't wake Gaius or Gwaine on his way in. He succeeded on the Gaius part but Gwaine was sat by the window, arms folded across his toned chest, wearing only his trousers and looking rather amused by Merlin's sneaky entrance.

'Gwaine!' Merlin hissed, knocking over some books on the shelf next to him. 'You made me jump!' He looked around to see if the kerfuffle had woken Gaius but the old man was still fast asleep and snoring lightly, his chest rising and falling steadily under his night gown.

'That's not an answer,' Gwaine replied, with a 'tut' of his tongue.

'Nowhere,' Merlin snapped at him, not sure whether he was annoyed at Gwaine for making him jump or at himself for staying with Morgana in the first place.

'Then why did you look like the cat that got the cream?' he asked, standing up and stretching his muscles very animatedly.

'I – what?'

'The cat that got the cream,' Gwaine repeated through a wide-mouthed yawn, to be met only with Merlin's blank face. 'It's a saying... Never mind.'

'Oh. Do you ever wear a shirt, Gwaine?' Merlin queried absent-mindedly, indicating towards the man's bare torso; it wasn't that he found Gwaine attractive – he was definitely not that way inclined – but his naked chest was distracting all the same.

'Occasionally,' he laughed. 'Anyway, don't change the subject. Where have you been? Gwaine pushed.

'With Morgana,' Merlin conceded eventually. There was no point lying to Gwaine for he'd only badger Merlin until he got the truth.

'Ah, your noble lady-friend,' he remarked with a snigger. Merlin knew exactly what Gwaine was thinking but he didn't bother to correct him, purely because he couldn't be bothered for the mockery he'd make of him. _Or is it because you wish you had lain with Morgana like that? Shut up! _All the voices in Merlin's head these days was enough to make him think he was going crazy; he certainly did not know which one to listen to anymore at any rate.

'You like her a lot, don't you?' Gwaine said, sounding more caring and concerned than Merlin had ever heard him. It made him look up to see Gwaine's genuinely interested expression.

'I love her,' Merlin admitted honestly.

'Merlin, you know-'

'I know we can never be together properly, Gwaine, I don't need that lecture. It doesn't change my feelings though,' Merlin interrupted him. It wasn't fair; he loved Morgana and she loved him but they couldn't be together because it 'wasn't right' and Gwaine's reminder only served to stab him in the stomach, or at least that's how it felt. Gwaine held up his hands in defeat to show he wouldn't press the matter any further, for which Merlin was grateful – he didn't have the energy for an argument with Gwaine and that was even if he wanted one, which he didn't. Gwaine might be a drunkard but he was Merlin's friend, his closest friend discounting Morgana, and he was the only person he could talk to about her so the last thing Merlin wanted to do was fall out with him.

'Well, now that I know you're safe and sound, I'll be getting myself some kip,' Gwaine informed him, settling himself down into Merlin's bed. He fidgeted around a bit before finally throwing his trousers out from under the duvet, causing Merlin to shake his head in disapproval. He wasn't so sure he wanted his bed back anymore.

The young man moved his gaze over to the window; the sun was low in the sky but sure to rise quickly meaning dawn was approaching. He wouldn't get a chance to sleep some more so there was no point trying. Resigned to this, he muttered goodbye to an already sleeping Gwaine and set off towards the kitchens to prepare Arthur's morning meal, realising that for the first time in a long time, he wouldn't be late in delivering the prince's breakfast.

XXX

You can accompany me on my rounds this morning,' Arthur decided through a mouthful of ham, spitting a few crumbs of it out as he did so.

'Yay,' Merlin responded, rather unenthusiastically. He'd only every accompanied Arthur on his rounds once and it had not been fun. It basically consisted of him wandering around the castle and village, spreading his good wishes to the people and then getting distracted for a good length of time by Guinevere.

'There's no need to be like that,' Arthur said, making Merlin raise an eyebrow at him. He had no idea how boring it was to stand around while he flirted with Gwen for an hour.

'Let's go,' Arthur commanded, standing up and wiping his mouth with a piece of cloth. Merlin grumbled a few choice words but followed Arthur anyway.

XXX

Merlin had been right. Half way through Arthur's rounds, they bumped into Gwen. However, Morgana was with her; they were looking at materials for dresses.

'Good morning, Morgana,' Arthur greeted her. 'Guinevere,' he nodded at the maidservant with a tell-tale smile playing on his mouth. His distraction lasted long enough for Merlin and Morgana to exchange quick smiles.

'What do you think of this one, Arthur?' Morgana asked suddenly, stealing his attention from Gwen, pointing at a shimmery white fabric.

'It's a bit plain,' Arthur responded after studying it. Merlin smirked; _since when did Arthur know anything about women's dresses?_

'Something funny, Merlin?' Arthur asked, gritting his teeth and rounding on him.

'No, Sire,' Merlin answered quickly, shaking his head in a vigorous manner. He didn't particularly fancy getting slapped around the head with Arthur's leather gloves again.

'No, I didn't think so.'

'Arthur, you shouldn't treat Merlin so horribly,' Morgana reprimanded him, shocking both Merlin and the prince to the point where Merlin nearly spluttered.

'Why are you defending him?' Arthur asked.

'I just think you should be a bit nicer to him, that's all, he works hard for you,' she told him. Merlin smiled at her, grateful for her interjection. 'You should stand up for yourself, Merlin,' she said to him.

He opened his mouth to reply but Arthur got there first. 'You should not encourage him. Don't get any ideas,' he added, turning to Merlin who was still grinning widely at Morgana. Arthur rolled his eyes. _Well, at least now he knew how it felt…_

'We'll be going now,' Arthur stated, dragging Merlin away. 'Morgana,' he nodded curtly, clearly not appreciating her suggestion that he treat Merlin better. 'Goodbye Guinevere,' he muttered more sweetly. If he hadn't just been put in Arthur's bad books, Merlin would have laughed.

XXX

Arthur wanted to hold training practice again that afternoon but, this time, Gwaine joined in. He may not have been a member of the Knights of Camelot but he was sure getting along well with them so Arthur let him practice with them. He was a good swordsman and even had Arthur on the floor on a couple of occasions, much to Merlin's amusement.

'I'll have to join in more often,' Gwaine said to Merlin as they made their way back to the castle.

'Definitely,' Merlin replied, still laughing at how Gwaine got Arthur on his back for the third and final time – Arthur had wrapped the session up not long after that for some reason.

'Not off to see Morgana tonight?' Gwaine asked, a mischievous glint in his eye. Merlin shook his head by way of an answer, hoping Gwaine wouldn't take the conversation where he thought it was going; this was Gwaine after all. 'So you can come with me to the tavern?' _Oh._ Merlin was about to refuse the offer – taverns were not his scene – but noticed Gwaine's hopeful expression.

'Oh, why not?' Merlin sighed, giving in. what harm could a few drinks do?

'Have I ever said you're my best friend, Merlin?' Gwaine wondered aloud, grinning from ear to ear.

'Once,' Merlin muttered. 'You were significantly intoxicated at the time.'

'I meant it though,' Gwaine insisted. 'You are my best friend.' Merlin rolled his eyes but inside he was happy; he'd never really had a best friend before.

**A/N … What? Another chapter? You bet! I know my updates haven't been as regular these days so I thought I'd give you guys a double update because I love you so much…**

**Apparently, the link for ****the video ****was the wrong one, ****so I'll try again: **** watch?feature=player_embedded&v=BQCn0wb5sL8**

**Try that one instead.**

**I've been thinking of maybe ending the story at 50 chapters, I mean, I can't keep it going forever. So, expect the action to heat up soon! On that note, er, reviews would be marvellous? ****I do love me some reviews…**


	38. Chapter 38

_Thump… Thump… Thump… _

'Merlin, what are you doing?' Gaius asked, watching Merlin like he had gone strange in the head, which he had, in a manner of speaking.

'What? … Oh, sorry.' He looked down to find he was knocking the table with the same 'thump-thump' rhythm that was playing in his head. He groaned exaggeratedly when Gaius offered him what looked like some sort of very lumpy, green soup. Food was not what he wanted right now – he felt far too sick.

His dry throat, banging head and summersaulting stomach were all signs that he'd drunk too much the night before. He'd woken up on the floor not far from Gaius' bed – he'd clearly been unable to make it to his own room – unable to remember a thing about last night's events. The last thing Merlin could recall was Gwaine telling him he was his best friend. If he hadn't felt so awful, he'd have smiled at the thought.

'Did you er, have a good night?' Gaius asked cautiously. Merlin metaphorically threw daggers at him with his eyes. 'Ah, as I thought,' Gaius muttered. 'Drink this,' he said after a moment or so of fiddling with his potion bottles, eventually handing Merlin a small bottle with a thick, gloopy-looking liquid inside. Merlin held it up to the light, scrutinizing it intently.

'What's in it?' he asked, quite physically turning his nose as he sniffed it.

'It's best you don't know. Just down it in one,' Gaius advised.

Merlin raised his eyebrow and gulped in apprehension. He moved the bottle closer to his mouth and caught another whiff of it. 'I can't,' he protested, 'it smells foul!'

'Oh stop behaving like such a child, Merlin. It'll make you feel better, I promise, just drink it!'

The hung-over man closed his tightly and held his nose, not caring how much of a child he looked like. He gagged as the lukewarm, lumpy contents made their way down his dry throat, very nearly spitting it all back out.

'Better?' Gaius asked. His only reply was a shudder. 'How is Gwaine this morning?'

'I don't know. He's probably asleep,' Merlin spluttered, still choking on the yellow potion. 'I have to get to Arthur.'

'But you haven't eaten anything,' Gaius pointed out as Merlin began to rush off.

'See you later!' Merlin shouted over his shoulder. The fewer questions he was asked about last night the better because he truly could not remember a thing. He did not really need the lecture about how consuming too much mead wasn't practical; he just wasn't in the mood.

XXX

'Why are we going to the stables again?' Merlin asked, following Arthur down the steps, all but running to keep up with the prince's pace.

'I have already explained this, Merlin. _I _am going to the stables to fetch the horses. _You_ are going to fetch some supplies – food, water, etc.'

'Yes, but why?' he asked, his head still pounding. Gwaine never woke up with a headache after spending all night in the tavern. Then again, Gwaine barely ever woke up at all if he could get away with it…

'Do you ever listen to a word I say?' Arthur exclaimed, coming to a stop which caused Merlin to run straight into him, his face smacking the prince straight in the collar bone.

'Sorry,' he muttered sheepishly.

Arthur shook his blonde head in exasperation, his hair flapping about as he did so. 'We are going for a ride,' he explained very slowly, pronouncing each word perfectly to ensure Merlin understood him.

'But we only went for one the other day,' Merlin complained. Exercise wasn't his forte and their rides never tended to go without some sort of hitch.

'Well we're going for one again today!'

XXX

He returned from the kitchen to find Arthur helping Morgana and then Gwen onto horses.

'Where's the king?' Merlin asked, securing the food packages to the back of his horse. He'd assumed Uther would be joining them, he normally did.

'He's not coming,' Arthur replied, climbing onto his own mare, 'It'll just be Morgana, Guinevere, you and myself.' And with that, he clicked for his horse to start trotting, leaving Merlin, not even on his horse, behind. He sighed and threw his hands in the air; the day looked like it was going to go just great.

XXX

Arthur, it seemed, preferred to ride next to Guinevere, leaving Morgana and Merlin slightly behind them. This was fine though, as it allowed them to talk; not too much – they didn't want to be caught out, but it they were able to have a substantial whispered conversation.

'You didn't say goodbye yesterday morning,' Morgana whispered, biting down on her lip.

He'd forgotten how insecure she could be sometimes and genuinely felt bad. 'Sorry,' he whispered back. 'You just looked so peaceful; I didn't want to wake you.'

'Oh,' she replied, with a quick nod of her head to show she understood. 'I liked having you next to me,' she said, not quite meeting his eyes and turning a light pink colour on the cheeks. He smiled; she was sweet when she was embarrassed.

'I liked _being_ next to you,' he muttered back, still smiling so she could see he meant it. And he did, for once he'd gotten over his nerves of both being in the same bed as her and the prospect of being caught, he'd begun to relax and felt, well, normal. Yes, he felt like they were a normal couple, lying in a normal bed on a normal night.

He opened his mouth to say something else but stopped; he'd heard a rustling in the trees to his left. He pulled on the horse's reigns to pull it to a halt and whipped his head around quickly and could have sworn he saw something red disappear behind a tree. Turning to see if anyone else had noticed, he saw Morgana's eyebrows stitched together in a frown.

'Did you see that?' she muttered. He nodded before turning around again. There was nothing there, at least not anymore.

'What's wrong with you two?' Arthur asked, seemingly annoyed that they'd interrupted his conversation with Gwen by stopping.

'Nothing,' Morgana answered when Merlin didn't.

'Well come on then slow-coaches! I'm starving!'

'Aren't you always?' she replied sarcastically, smirking when he threw her a dirty look. Once they'd started off again, she turned back to Merlin; neither of them were comfortable continuing but they had no choice, lest Arthur became suspicious. Merlin was desperate to put it down to his imagination, or even perhaps just a rustle of wind, but he couldn't, not when Morgana had seen it too, and he couldn't shake off the sense that they were being watched. He kept glancing to his left and behind him, as did Morgana, but they saw no more flashes of red.

XXX

After that, their day passed without any further problems. Well, until Merlin got home that was. He pushed the door of his bedroom, expecting to find Gwaine still fast asleep, but he wasn't there.

'Gaius,' he called. 'Where is Gwaine?'

'I don't know. I went in there at midday to see if he wanted any food but he wasn't there,' Gaius responded somewhat distantly – he was engrossed in a book of herbs or something of that nature.

That was strange. The bed didn't even look like it had been slept in – it was tidy and Gwaine _never_ left the bed tidy. Oh well, maybe he'd fallen asleep in the tavern. He was a grown man and not Merlin's responsibility; he'd probably come crawling back at some point that night with his tail well and truly between his legs. Having concluded this, Merlin decided to dwell on the matter no more, have his supper and go to bed – his own bed.


	39. Chapter 39

'Has Gwaine returned yet?' Gaius asked at breakfast the next morning.

'Not as far as I know,' Merlin yawned. He sat down and stopped with his spoon in some thick, green sort of concoction that Gaius had put in front of him; it didn't look all that appetising. Truth be told, Merlin was becoming secretly worried about Gwaine, it wasn't like him not to return two nights in a row without so much as explaining whose bed he'd been sleeping in. He tried telling himself, once again, that Gwaine was a grown man, perfectly capable of taking care of himself. Besides, it's not like Merlin was his mother; did Gwaine really have any reason to explain himself to him? _Well, we are friends…_

'Do you have any idea where he may be?' Gaius queried, searching Merlin's face.

'Tavern?' Merlin suggested, some green soup dribbling out of his mouth as he opened it. 'Actually, I think I might go and look there now,' he decided, standing up and scraping the bench back along the stone floor with a loud screech as he did so in his hurry.

'Merlin!' the physician called after him, 'I'm sure he's fine.'

'I know, but I want to look anyway,' Merlin replied, hovering in the doorway.

'Just don't get yourself worried, that's all. He's not your responsibility and you work yourself up enough as it is running around after the prince. Not to mention Morgana these days…' Gaius trailed off as Merlin gave him something reminiscent of a warning look. He didn't press the matter further though as he knew Gaius was only trying to look out for him.

'I'll see you later,' he said finally, before running down the spiral staircase and off towards the tavern.

XXX

After asking a significant amount of people if they had seen Gwaine – and, in the process, learning of a lot of money Gwaine owed various people – Merlin could safely say Gwaine was not in the tavern and hadn't been seen there since the night they'd both gotten drunk within its four walls.

He asked around the village for an hour or so, but this proved fruitless; nobody had seen him. It was like he'd vanished off the face of the earth.

XXX

'I don't suppose you've seen Gwaine anywhere?' Merlin asked Arthur as he tidied his room. How the ma managed to mess up his room so much so quickly was honestly a mystery to Merlin.

Arthur looked at Merlin over the piece of parchment he was reading. 'Should I have?'

'Um no, maybe, yes, I don't know.' He looked up to find Arthur still looking at him but, now, he was wearing an incredulous expression. 'What?' he asked.

'Nothing,' he muttered eventually, looking back down at his papers.

Merlin sighed, more out of frustration than anything else. Where on earth had that man gone? Despite himself, Merlin couldn't help remembering that flash of red both him and Morgana had seen on their ride the other day. He was sure he recognised it somehow, but he just couldn't place it. He frowned hard in concentration, all thoughts of picking up the clothes on Arthur's floor gone from his mind. If he was right, the red flash was the back of a cloak hiding behind the tree, which meant someone was following them. But who? And why, for that matter?

'Merlin!'

'Yes?' Merlin gasped, dropping the pot he'd clearly been holding out of fright. Arthur was sat back in his carefully carved wooden chair, arms folded, surveying Merlin with an interested yet slightly cross expression adorning his features.

'What are you doing?' he asked, his mock niceness more than apparent.

'I was just um… I was cleaning,' he tried, not very expectantly.

'Really? It's just that I've never cleaned by standing around with a stupid expression on my face.'

'You've never cleaned full-stop,' Merlin muttered under his breath, proceeding to pick up the discarded items of clothing from the floor.

'Pardon?' Arthur asked, craning his neck and putting a hand around his ear, over-exaggeratedly indicating that he didn't quite hear him.

'Nothing,' Merlin answered quickly, not fancying being hit or having something thrown at his head again. He really should learn to keep his thoughts to himself…

XXX

The manservant was walking to Morgana's chamber later that evening; he hadn't seen her all day and it would give him a chance to ask her if she'd seen Gwaine if nothing else. He reached the beginning of the long corridor that led to her rooms and began to saunter down it, when he saw none other than Morgana herself emerge from the room. She was wearing her purple, thick, outdoors cloak and pulled the hood over her head as she looked from side to side to see if anyone had noticed her.

There were no guards present tonight and Merlin was the only other person close by who could have seen her. Suddenly more than just a little bit suspicious, Merlin threw himself back around the corner to ensure she didn't see him. He waited a moment, holding his breath, until he heard the 'click-clack' of her shoes make their way down the corridor. He stood as far up against the wall as he could when she passed, hoping she'd keep her back to him and not turn around. He was lucky for she continued on her way without a backwards glance.

As carefully as he could, he crept along behind her, keeping to the shadows so he wouldn't be seen. He had a sick feeling in his stomach and he didn't like it. He had a horrible feeling she was going to meet Morgause and it filled him with an almost overwhelming sense of dread. He seemed to be right; he followed her down the corridor, out of the castle, down the steps, through the village, and to the entrance of the forest. Here she hesitated. He kept behind the wall of a cottage, not far from the village gates and watched as she stopped and turned around. He thought she knew he'd been following her and was about to reveal himself but she sighed and turned around again, disappearing into the darkness of the trees. Merlin looked at the floor, tears forming in his eyes. She was meeting that woman, he just knew it. She'd betrayed him. He'd trusted her and, all along, she'd betrayed him.

**A/N … Hello everyone. I'm really sorry I haven't been updating as fast, I just lost sight of where I was taking things but I'm back on track now. If there are any mistakes in this, it's probably due to the fact I'm watching the Busted Live DVD, but we're going to pretend I never said that, yeah? Thanks. Um, I promised her I'd put it in, so humour us both and read a very short, strange story by my best (messed up) friend Kim: (My sincere apologies, I think she may have been high!)**

**Once upon a time there was a bear. He was a very happy bear. He ate bagels every day and despised raw potatoes. His name was Baxter Boris B. Bear. He lived in a giant purple box just off the M5. He wanted to find a lady-bear in order to have a female companion friend. He couldn't find one. He was kind of the only bear living in a purple box in that area. He set a trap which was filled with cheese and pickles and honey and five days later, when all the food was pretty much rotten and smelly and disgusting and bad, he went to the trap. There was nothing inside. So instead, he went onto eHarmony for bears where he opened an account and met a lovely lady-bear called Billy. He and Billy decided to meet. When he arrived at their meeting place he found that Billy was in fact a guy which he should have known, maybe, by the name. But it turned out that Billy had in fact been trying to find his sister, Patricia Bear, a boyfriend. Patricia fortunately found Baxter very, very attractive and muscular and all that kind of crap. And they decided to settle down in Baxter's big purple box where they went on to have twenty honey coloured cubs and they didn't want to eat them because they were honey coloured so they knew they were baby bears. The end.**


	40. Chapter 40

Merlin slumped forwards so his forehead was touching the hard wall in front of him; _how_ could he have been so _stupid_? He gazed at the floor looking at nothing in particular and he thought the situation through; where did it all go wrong? He'd lost her now and there was no way he could get her back. Without thinking about it, Merlin raised his right hand and punched the wall – a very uncharacteristic action for the servant, he wasn't usually violent – and even growled in frustration, but that didn't stop the tears falling down his face and it certainly didn't stop the pain in his heart or the churning of his stomach. It only served to make his now painful knuckles bleed.

He thought about going back to the castle, trying to forget about Morgana and never speaking to her again if he could help it, but he just couldn't. He wanted, no _needed_, to go after her and confront her. Merlin needed to look her in the eye as she explained why she'd betrayed him like this. So, after a few deep breaths, Merlin stalked after her into the forest, preparing himself for the uncomfortable showdown they were no doubt about to have. He'd have been lying had he tried to convince himself he was dreading it…

The night was dark and a bit on the chilly side so Merlin was thankful that he'd put on a coat when he went to see her earlier on that evening. He pulled it a bit closer around his shoulders and looked around him for any sign of movement that could signal her presence. He pricked his ears as he heard a rustling in front of him a short way off. He stopped, wary. Was it Morgana or Morgause? He reduced his breathing so even he couldn't hear it and stood deadly still so as not to snap any twigs and give away his arrival on the scene.

'Merlin?' a woman gasped, stepping out of the darkness. He didn't need to squint his eyes at her to know who it was. Morgana stood in front of him, shivering and rubbing her arms, presumably to try and keep some heat in them. He didn't say anything to her; asking her questions just gave her more of a chance to lie, so he waited for her to explain herself without a prompt. She didn't say anything for a while but Merlin could hear her chattering teeth. Every instinct in his body wanted to take off his coat and drape it around her freezing shoulders but his brain warned him not to. She was the enemy now; he couldn't let her melt his heart like she used to.

'What took you so long?' she managed to get out eventually. He frowned. What did she mean 'what took you so long'? Was she trying to be clever about him following her?

'Trying to catch me out, were you?' he spat coldly, still perplexed by her question.

'What?' she asked, now looking equally confused, her thin eyebrows knitted together on her pale brow. Her whole body was trembling, despite her think, velvet cloak being pulled tightly around her frame, but Merlin tried to push this from his mind.

'Before you accuse me, I'll admit it, yes I followed you; guilty as charged. But I only followed you, Morgana, because I want to know why you've betrayed me like this. I tried my best to help you; was it just not good enough? I mean you could have just told me, you didn't need to run back to her. Or did you never stop? That's it, isn't it? You've been in cahoots with her all along!' His realisation hurt and his words tumbled out faster than he could stop them. He was shaking now too, but not with cold, with anger. He tried to calm himself down, leaning on a close-by tree to support himself and quieten his breathing.

'Merlin, have I done something wrong?' she queried, backing away from him slightly as though she were scared he might hurt her. 'I don't understand what you're saying.'

'Yes you do!' he bellowed, smacking the tree in fury.

'So you wanted to meet me here to what, shout at me? What are you playing at, Merlin?' she asked, bewildered, if not slightly angry.

'Meet you? I, er, what?' he answered. He'd never asked her to meet him…

'Your note – you told me to meet you here at the hour of ten.' He did? Well, this was news to him… Her face was serious but he knew what she was doing.

'Don't try and wriggle out of this, Morgana. It couldn't be more obvious that you've been meeting Morgause behind my back!'

Morgana gasped loudly and looked visibly shocked and hurt by his accusations. 'Merlin, I… I haven't. I promise you I haven't,' she protested, shaking her head from side to side violently. She tried to move towards him, perhaps in an attempt to touch him, but he held up his hand to signify he didn't want her to come any closer.

'Don't lie to me, Morgana,' he pleaded. 'I followed you out here. Of course you're meeting her! Why else would you be out of the safety of the castle at an hour such as this?'

'Because you told me to!' she screeched. 'Look!' She pulled out a note from a fold in her long cloak and handed it to him less than gently. He read over it quickly.

_Meet me in the woods at the hour of ten. I have something urgent to tell you. Merlin. _Where did she get this? He'd certainly never written it, that was for sure.

'Morgana, who gave you this?' he asked, his voice softening a little.

'One of the guards outside my room,' she replied.

'I didn't write it,' he said more to himself than her.

'You must have,' she countered.

'No. For one, that's not my handwriting,' he told her, pointing at the words. His writing was awful, a scrawl at best. This writing was incredibly neat. 'Another thing: I'd never risk your life by asking you to meet me in the forest at such a late hour. Nor would I write a note for your guards to give to you,' he added, searching her face to see if it would give anything away. He could usually tell when she was lying – her eyes would flit about the place, trying not to look at the person she was lying to.

'Merlin,' she started, 'can we just forget about the note for a minute? I swear to you I have not been meeting Morgause behind your back. She's been banished, remember? I couldn't have even I'd wanted to. I need you to believe me,' she begged, taking the note, throwing it to the floor and grabbing his hands and face so he had to look at her.

Merlin wanted to believe her, he really did. But the truth was, he had not written that note and so, from his point of view, she'd walked purposefully into the forest in the middle of the night to meet someone - Morgause. He looked into her blue eyes intently, trying not to care that he was probably making her feel uncomfortable.

'What happened to your hand?' she asked suddenly, smoothing her fingers lightly over his grazed knuckles. He looked down and brushed her hand away; he'd quite forgotten about his regrettable contact with the cottage wall earlier.

'Morgana, I-' He was about to ask her to tell him truthfully if she'd written the note herself as some sort of cover story but he didn't have a chance. She'd covered his mouth with her own, giving him no choice but to shut up. Her kiss was warm and desperate and he hated the fact that he couldn't stop his mouth working perfectly with hers. He felt her run her small hands through his hair, just the way he liked it, and couldn't help mirroring her actions, stroking his fingers through her long, soft curls; her hair had always reminded him of a waterfall, the way the waves shined as they fell down her slim back.

'I'm sorry,' he mumbled into her smooth, insistent lips. And he was, not just for the way he'd shouted at her but for thinking the worst of her in the first place.

'Shh,' she murmured, trailing her fingers down the side of his face. 'It's fine.'

'I do hate to interrupt, but I believe we have matters to discuss.' Merlin froze, every inch of hair on his body standing on edge. That wasn't Morgana's voice, not even close. Besides, her tongue had been otherwise engaged. They pulled apart abruptly, but kept a tight hold on each other's hands, and Merlin watched as Morgana's expressions mirrored his own. It dawned on the pair of them almost instantly both who the voice belonged to and just how much trouble they were in.

**A/N … Hi everyone! I hope you're enjoying your weekend, I know I certainly have. I have to include a quick little promo at this point. My best friend (whom you'll all know by now as Kim) and I have written another**** shirt-ish**** one shot. It's Morgana/Cenred and is posted on our joint account. It will eventually become a full length fic but**** the reasons for it not happening yet are**** is explained in the A/N with the actual story. ****Search for 'HarkinScriptores' up the top there and it's called 'A Taste of Forbidden Pleasures'. It won't take you long and it would really mean the world to me if you could read it and quickly let us know what you think! Oh and feel free to read any of our other stories while you're there ;) (It's worth a try, eh?) Back to this story, I've got the end worked out and it won't be long now so please, please, please, make me smile and review? **


	41. Chapter 41

Merlin slowly turned around and looked straight into the wide eyes of Morgause. He gave Morgana's hand a quick squeeze just to remind her that they had each other but she refused to look at either him or the woman who'd interrupted them.

'You received my note, I take it?' she asked Morgana, completely ignoring Merlin's presence and pointing to the discarded piece of parchment on the floor.

'What do you want from me, Morgause?' Morgana snapped, finally coming out of her trance and whirling around to face the smirking sorceress.

'All in good time,' she whispered, bringing a single finger up to her mouth indicating Morgana should be quiet. Merlin scowled; he didn't care much for her or her games. 'Come, don't look at me like that,' she said to Merlin in a sing-song voice. 'After all, I'm letting you stay and watch, aren't I?' His scowl deepened. What was she talking about? She acknowledged his expression and sighed, continuing on to explain herself but like it was a hardship.

'You weren't supposed to be here; Morgana was supposed to come alone. But you're here now, so you might as well stay and watch as I convince her to come back to me. Because she will. She will.'

'Never,' Morgana hissed at her. Merlin, still holding her hand, felt her starting to tremble and, this time, it wasn't because she was cold; it was because she was angry and he began to get worried. Although her anger wasn't aimed at him, he knew she couldn't control her magic, thus he worried what she might do.

'Don't be so hasty,' Morgause advised Morgana. 'You haven't heard me out yet.'

'She's not going to,' Merlin snapped. He'd had enough; there was no way he was going to give Morgause a chance to worm her way back in with Morgana, not now. He turned around, dragging Morgana with him but he didn't get very far.

'I wouldn't be in such a hurry if I were you,' Morgause called after them, sounding positively delighted they'd tried to walk away. However, Merlin ignored her and carried on pulling Morgana through the trees. 'Do you not want to see your friend again?' He stopped. What friend? The pair turned back around to see Morgause had vanished.

'Where has she gone?' Morgana whispered, her voice unsteady; it didn't take a genius to figure out she was terrified.

'I don't know,' he muttered back. He wasn't normally afraid in dangerous situations – he knew he always had his magic to fall back on – but Morgause seemed to be far more powerful than both himself and Morgana put together and this frightened him. He supposed he had the small advantage of his magic being unknown to her, but even so, he wasn't sure how much of an advantage this was.

'Ahem.' A feminine cough behind them signalled Morgause's return. Merlin and Morgana whipped around fast to see Morgause walking slowly towards them, her eyes glowing gold and a body hovering above her head. Merlin cast his eyes upwards, cursing the night for being cloudy. He could just make out a male shape lying in the air face down.

'Friend' Morgause had said. He pondered on this for a moment but, just as the realisation hit him, Morgana screamed the man's name.

'Gwaine!' _Of course! _

'If you've hurt him…' Merlin started but Morgause waved her hand dismissively.

'He's fine, just asleep.' Morgause stopped a few feet off from the couple and, without warning, the glow in her eyes disappeared and Gwaine's body dropped. Merlin lunged forward to catch him but Gwaine was too heavy and Merlin's knees crumpled under the other man's weight. He managed to stop Gwaine's head hitting the floor and quickly checked him over. Apart from a few cuts and bruises, he seemed relatively unhurt and his breathing was steady.

He glanced up at his best friend's captor. 'Why did you take him?' he snarled. 'Gwaine has nothing to do with this!'

'Well, that's debatable. You see, the other night when you none-too-kindly knocked me out,' she began, looking at Morgana, 'I woke up just as you left the room. I saw him,' she pointed at Gwaine's limo body, 'and wondered what he knew. So, instead of leaving like I was told to, I stuck around in hiding and happened to come across him and your lover leaving the tavern one night.' She gave Merlin a filthy glare before continuing. 'I followed them. They were drunk and, instead of going to bed, the man fell asleep at the bottom of the stairs, so I took him,' she finished simply.

'But why?' Morgana asked, bewildered. That was something Merlin wanted to know as well.

'Have you not learned Morgana? I have a plan for every possible scenario. I knew there was a chance that this servant might end up in the woods with you and I needed some way of ensuring neither of you tried to hurt me again. So, you see, it's simple really. You hurt me, he dies.' Merlin gulped. They were no match for Morgause, she was too clever. There wasn't much he could do for Gwaine now so he got to his feet again and retreated to stand by Morgana. If this was to be the end, he wanted to at least be next to her when it happened.

'What do you want?' Morgana asked, repeating her earlier words as she gripped onto Merlin's arm.

'You.'

'But you can't have me!' Morgana protested. 'I'm not some object that you can claim!'

'Maybe not,' she conceded, 'but I _always_ get what I want. Don't I, Cenred?' _Who was…?_ Merlin didn't even have time to finish the question in his head before a tall, dark, well-built man, clad in leather, stepped out from behind a tree to stand next to Morgause. _That _Cenred. The King of Essitir. He felt rather than heard Morgana's sharp intake of breath beside him. If they hadn't been frightened enough of Morgause alone, they were sure as hell more frightened of Morgause and her 'back-up'.

**A/N … I never originally intended on straying from the original storyline so far as to bring Cenred in at this point, but I sort of a random urge to… (Come on, you can't really argue with Tom Ellis in tight leather trousers…)**** Anyway, give me an R, give me an E, give me a V, give me an I… Sorry, I won't continue with that but you know what I'm getting at. Reviews please?**


	42. Chapter 42

Despite having been what could be described as more forward than was safe a little earlier on, both Morgana and Merlin now stood in silence, neither wanting to say anything to provoke Morgause or Cenred.

'Now, Morgana, are you willing to listen to me?' Morgause asked, moving over slightly to stand just in front of Cenred who appeared to be smirking at the pair.

'Fine,' Morgana agreed through gritted teeth. She didn't particularly want to hear anything Morgause had to say but she no longer saw what choice she had; Gwaine was asleep on the floor in front of them (dying for all they knew) and Cenred was, according to Arthur, a force to be reckoned with.

'What are you doing?' Merlin hissed incredulously, turning to face her for the first time since Gwaine had been brought to the scene.

'We don't really have a choice,' she argued, lightly indicating her head towards Cenred.

'You can't seriously be thinking of considering whatever poison she wants to drip in your ear?' he muttered.

'Merlin, do you want Gwaine to die? I mean I'm not all that fond of the drunkard myself but I wouldn't want him to lose his life because of us and I know you don't either.' For once, Morgana seemed to be the one talking sense in their dangerous situation, quite a change from the fear induced silence she'd slipped into earlier.

He gave a swift nod of his head, implying he'd let her go ahead. If listening was the only way to get them out of this mess then listen they would have to do.

'Say your piece,' Morgana demanded of the other woman, trying her best to ignore Cenred stroking his hand over the handles of the two swords he was carrying.

'All I ever wanted was to help you, Morgana,' Morgause started.

'No, you wanted me to help you kill Uther!' Morgana countered. She wasn't going to put up with these blatant lies…

'Hear me out. All I ever wanted was to help you,' she repeated slowly, staring intently at Morgana which put her off arguing again. 'I admit, yes, your help in murdering Uther would have been useful, but that's what Cenred is here for now. I-'

'What?' Merlin exclaimed interrupting.

'Silence!' Cenred shouted, piping up for the first time since his arrival. His voice was deep and powerful and it made Morgana jump.

Morgause gave Cenred a quick, grateful smile before continuing. 'I could teach you so much, Morgana,' she said, looking at her wistfully as she advanced on her. 'Together we could be so powerful; unbeatable.' Her eyes were practically shining with desire and Morgana couldn't help but recoil slightly. What she didn't understand was why Morgause was so fixated on _her._ There were plenty of people in the world with magic, the druids for starters, so why Morgana? There must have been some ulterior motive there…

'Why me?' Morgana asked, her curiosity finally getting the better of her.

'I thought I'd explained this to you not so long ago, before he got in the way,' she added, waving her hand towards Merlin. 'You're special, Morgana. Far more than you could ever imagine.'

Morgana dropped her gaze to the forest floor, confused. She didn't understand anything anymore.

'Please, Morgana, come back to me?' Morgause requested, placing a firm hand over her own trembling one. 'What with our magic and Cenred's battle skill, we'd be extraordinary together,' Morgause pointed out. 'Once Uther and Arthur are out of the way, we'd live in a world where magic was no longer a crime. You'd rule Camelot, Morgana, with me at your side.

Morgana had been considered Morgause's words right up until she mentioned Arthur. He hadn't been part of their plan before. Living in a world where she didn't have to hide her powers was appealing and ruling Camelot had its plus points too – her and Merlin could be together for one. Merlin. He'd never forgive her if she went along with this. Never. And it was that more than anything else that helped her make up her mind.

As if he could read her mind, she felt him place a warning hand on her shoulder. It brought her back to her senses and she shook her head. She couldn't play a part in Morgause's wild plans.

'No,' she uttered, still shaking her head. 'I can't.'

'Morgana, I'm urging you to think carefully about this,' Morgause insisted, ignoring Merlin's warning looks and gripping Morgana's hands tighter. Why was she so desperate for Morgana to join her?

'No,' Morgana repeated firmly. 'I will not join you,' she declared, glaring defiantly into the other woman's eyes.

'I didn't want to do this,' Morgause replied in barely more than a whisper, looking genuinely regretful. She took a few steps before slowly and deliberately turning her back on the pair so she was face to face with Cenred. This gave Morgana enough of a chance to look at Merlin; he looked back at her, his nerves evident in his eyes. What was Morgause doing to do now?

She watched in anticipation as Morgause gave Cenred one determined nod of her blonde head and she waited with baited breath to see what would happen. Suddenly and very much without warning, Cenred lunged forward, both of his swords now out and raised. Morgana jumped aside and fell to the cold, hard ground in doing so, but it wasn't her Cenred was after; she raised her head from the fallen leaves to see him standing behind Merlin, holding him to his body with both of his sharp, shining swords held to the other man's exposed throat.

Morgana's first instinct was to throw herself forward and knock the swords out of Cenred's hands but she knew that wouldn't be a good idea; he'd slit Merlin's throat before she was even half way to him. So, instead, she sat up and looked to Morgause. She was going to have to beg and she hated it.

'Morgause, please…' she trailed off as she saw Morgause shake her head and point at Cenred. So she turned to Cenred and tried again. 'Cenred, please, let him go. It's not him Morgause wants.' Annoyingly, the man mirrored Morgause's actions, shaking his own head and pointing at the sorceress.

'Stop it!' Morgana screeched, her fear getting the better of her. She wasn't sure what type of game Morgause was trying to play but she sure as hell didn't like it, nor did she want any part in it. All she wanted was for Cenred to drop his weapons from Merlin's throat.

'Please Morgause,' she whispered, trying desperately once more, but still looking at Cenred. She didn't want to take her eyes off him should he try to hurt Merlin. The only sort of response she got was Cenred digging a sword far enough into Merlin's neck to draw a few spots of blood.

'NO!' she screamed, her arms flailing in Merlin's general direction even though she felt otherwise rooted to the ground. 'Please don't hurt him!' A million thoughts went through her head at the moment the blood began to trickle down Merlin's chest, most of them revolving around how unbearable her life would be should he die tonight. She couldn't handle it and, as she had done once before, she completely lost control.

Before she knew what was happening, she felt her eyes burn and could only stand as a mere spectator as she watched Morgause, Cenred and Merlin fall backwards at quite a speed. She didn't know where to look first. It appeared Cenred had hit his head on a rock for blood was seeping through his hair. Morgause was also lying still but she looked relatively unhurt and Merlin was already, thankfully, stirring, as was Gwaine. Morgana had quite forgotten he was lying on the ground unconscious until she heard him groan; whatever spell Morgause had over him had clearly been broken by her lapse in consciousness. Provided he was okay, Morgause and Cenred would now be outnumbered, not that it gave Morgana all that much hope; the duo was far more powerful than them.

Merlin moaned and she rushed over to him, crouching down on the ground beside him. The cut to his throat was a lot deeper than it had looked from a distance and was bleeding profusely; they needed to leave in a hurry before he lost too much blood.

'Are you alright?' she asked, clinging to him hard and putting her hand to his neck to try and ease the blood flow a bit.

'I'm fine,' he muttered, coughing a little and pushing her hand away. She leant back to give him some space as he surveyed the scene. Gwaine was sat up by this point and looked more than a little confused.

'What's going on?' he questioned groggily, rubbing sleep from his eyes.

'I promise I'll explain but, right now, we need to run,' Merlin stated, already getting to his feet – trying to avoid touching Cenred so as not to wake him – and helping Morgana to hers. It wouldn't be long before Morgause and, possibly, Cenred arose so they needed to move fast if they were to get away.

**A/N … Apologies for the slow updates, I'm getting rather stressed out about various things. People p'i****ng me off big time****, ****my exams looming ever closer and the fact that I am leaving school for good in two days are getting me more than a little bit emotional so bear with me. ****Feel free to send me your thoughts/opinions guys, I just love hearing them!**


	43. Chapter 43

Merlin requested that Morgana run ahead while he helped Gwaine; if she could get far enough out of the way then at least he'd only have Gwaine to worry about. He moved throughout the trees as fast as he could while supporting Gwaine's weight at the same time – it wasn't easy. The cool night air did seem to be waking Gwaine up though and so, as soon as Merlin felt it would be safe to let the man support himself, he let go and they both ran a little faster.

'Tell me what's going on,' Gwaine demanded through deep intakes of breath.

'What happened to you?' Merlin asked, wanting to know what had happened to Gwaine in the time he'd been missing.

'I don't know,' he admitted, 'one minute I was walking home with you, the next I woke up in some old castle with those two standing over me.'

Merlin nodded, despite knowing that Gwaine wouldn't see. 'Did they hurt you?' he asked, deeply concerned about his best friend's welfare. Gwaine was an incredibly fit and healthy man (discounting his consumption of copious amounts of alcohol) and normally he didn't have any trouble running long distances, so Merlin was shocked to see him holding his side – indicating he had a stitch – so early in their escape bid.

'No,' he replied. 'Merlin, she has magic.'

'I know,' Merlin answered.

'She put some sort of spell on me, I don't know what, but she muttered some words I didn't understand and her eyes glowed and then… well I must have fallen asleep because I don't remember anything after that until what happened just now.' Merlin glanced at his companion to see him frowning; he was clearly puzzled by his lack of memory.

Merlin had the edge of the forest in his sights and was concentrating hard on reaching it as quickly as possible when a woman stepped out in front of him. Both men gasped and jumped back in fright.

'It's only me,' Morgana hissed. 'What took you so long?' She didn't seem very impressed with their reaction.

'It took a while for me to wake up, My Lady,' Gwaine replied; Merlin was still holding both hands to his chest, trying to calm his breathing and the adrenaline that was flowing at a hundred miles per hour through his veins. Merlin's hands sunk to rest on his crouched knees – running wasn't his favourite past time by any means.

Morgana began to walk forwards towards the castle which they could now see in the moonlight and, panting, Merlin started to follow her when he heard a pain-filled groan from behind him. He stopped abruptly and rotated to see Gwaine, white as a sheet, sink to his knees. The man's eyes were extremely wide and he was foaming at the mouth. Merlin lowered his eyes with horror to see the silver glint of _both _of Cenred's swords sticking out of his best friend's chest. Blood was spilling rapidly down the rest of Gwaine's body, covering his lower torso and legs, turning the clothes he'd been wearing from white and brown to deep, wet crimson.

Gwaine's noise had caused Morgana to turn around as well and, seeing the scene playing out in front of her horror-struck eyes, she couldn't help screaming. Had they been in any other situation, Merlin would've run straight to Morgana to comfort her because he couldn't bear to hear her scream that way. But he couldn't. He was frozen, paralysed where he stood as he took in what was happening to Gwaine.

'Merlin,' Gwaine managed to breath out, but whatever else he was about to say went forever unsaid as he fell forwards, his head landing at Merlin's feet. Slowly, Merlin lowered himself onto his knees. He gently pulled the swords from Gwaine's back before rolling his body over. He should have been crying, at least one tear, but his eyes remained dry as he stroked a few fly-away hairs from Gwaine's face. There were so many thoughts running riot in his head that Merlin couldn't pinpoint any particular one to develop, he couldn't pick out any singular emotion inside him.

'I warned you that if you tried anything he'd die,' Morgause said, her voice lacking any kind of care, as she stood at Cenred's side. 'I'll come back for you, Morgana,' she promised, breaking Merlin out of his trance. He didn't hear Morgana reply and looked up to see Morgause take Cenred's hand and start to head off back into the depths of the trees. That was when one clear emotion hit him: anger. He heard Cenred chuckling, clearly finding amusement in the cold-hearted murder he'd just committed, and it made Merlin's blood boil with fury. Silently, so as not to warn the pair, he picked up one of Cenred's blood-stained swords from the ground and crept forward with it.

'Merlin! NO!' Morgana screamed. In his confused and upset state, he hadn't really realised what he was doing, but he crashed back to earth to suddenly realise that he was holding the sword to Cenred's back. Strangely, Morgause wasn't trying to defend him, she merely watched with interest. The man twisted his head and body slightly so he could look Merlin in the eye.

'Do it,' he muttered in a low growl, just loud enough for Merlin to hear. Merlin pulled the sword back slightly but then renewed the pressure in a new position over Cenred's ribs. He pushed a bit harder so the blade just penetrated the man's leathers but then he stopped.

'No.' He shook his head. 'I'm not like you.' And he wasn't; Merlin could not purposely kill a defenceless man out of spite, it just wasn't in his nature.

'You're a coward,' Cenred sneered, snatching his sword off Merlin.

'At least I'm not a cold-blooded killer,' Merlin spat, not even trying to resist as the man reclaimed his weapon. He didn't want it, not when it was covered in his best friend's blood. Gwaine. Not caring whether Cenred stabbed him in the back, Merlin turned around and ran straight back to his friend, throwing himself on the ground by his body. And then it came. The grief that washed over him spilled out in warm, salty tears.

Morgana shouted something as Morgause and Cenred left but Merlin didn't care anymore, he didn't care whether they left or stuck around to watch. He picked up Gwaine's limp, cold, lifeless body as best he could and rested his head in his lap. If it wasn't for the blood that was still seeping like a red river from his chest, Merlin would've sworn he was simply sleeping. But he wasn't sleeping, and he was never going to wake up; he was dead.

Merlin cried and cried unashamedly as he rocked back and forth. It was his fault; this whole mess was his fault. He looked briefly down at his hands and realised they were covered in Gwaine's blood; it was never going to wash off. He could drench his hands in water and scrub until they were raw but Gwaine's blood was never, ever going to wash off. Not when Merlin knew that he was responsible for his death. Not when Merlin knew that _they_ were responsible for his murder. He blamed himself, he blamed Morgana, he blamed Cenred, Morgause, Uther, Gaius, the Great Dragon, and he even blamed Gwaine. He couldn't help it. He just didn't know what to do.

'Merlin, we have to bury his body,' Morgana whispered gently, sitting down next to him and slipping her arm around his waist.

'No,' Merlin sniffed. He wasn't ready, not yet; he couldn't say goodbye.

'Morgana, Merlin, what's going on?' Merlin heard Arthur's voice but he didn't turn around, he refused to look away from Gwaine's face. Gwaine's face which was wearing the same scared expression he'd been wearing when Cenred had mercilessly stabbed him, the same scared expression he'd been wearing when he realised he was going to die; and Merlin couldn't stand it. He let out an enraged, grief-stricken howl and collapsed in a heap over Gwaine's dead, blood-soaked body.

He felt Morgana leave his side.

'What are you doing here?' he heard her ask.

'What are _you _doing here is more like it?' Arthur retorted. Merlin was grateful for the fact that Arthur was too preoccupied with wondering what Morgana was doing out in the forest in the middle of the night to ask Merlin what he was doing there as well. There was no way he could have come up with a believable lie at that moment in time.

'I couldn't sleep so I went for a walk,' she explained.

'You know you shouldn't Morgana, it's too dangerous,' the prince remonstrated. 'And, in answer to your question, one of the villagers leaving the tavern heard a scream from the outskirts of the woods and rushed to tell me. I came straight here. What happened, Morgana, I…' he trailed off, clearly only just noticing Gwaine which, considering the way Merlin was hunched protectively over his body, wasn't all that surprising.

'What happened?' he asked.

'I don't know, I found them like this,' Morgana lied. _Great_, now he had to come up with some sort of story. Well, Arthur could wait.

'Merlin,' Arthur started softly, kneeling down next to his manservant. He rested his hand compassionately on Merlin's shoulder for a moment before lightly trying to prise him away from Gwaine's body. Merlin struggled against his grip, not wanting to let go, but Arthur was too strong. Arthur gasped as he saw the state Gwaine was in, but gasping would do no good now, it was too late. Trying not to look too distressed for Merlin's sake, the prince took Merlin's face in both hands. 'Merlin, you need to let him go,' he whispered. 'I'm sorry.'

Fresh tears sprung in the corners of Merlin's eyes and, extremely uncharacteristically, he hurled his head into Arthur's shoulder, letting Arthur hold him and soothe him as though he were a baby. He didn't care that it wasn't 'proper', he didn't care that Arthur was the prince and he was his manservant, he didn't care that Morgana and a large number of guards were watching, he just lay in Arthur's arms crying until, exhausted, he fell into a nightmare-filled sleep.

**A/N … Hands up, how many of you saw that coming? Okay, Kim, put your hand down, you don't count because I told you weeks ago what I was planning. I'm guessing not a lot of you saw it coming, no? Apologies if none of you like what just happened but something dramatic had to happen before the end and I'm guessing you'd have liked it even less if I'd killed Morgana like I was originally planning to. Anyway, just please don't hate me too much, Gwaine dying broke my heart too. **

**Right, erm, I really don't want to do this but I think I'm going to have to put the story on hiatus until my exams are over. I'm really, really, really sorry****, honestly I am, I know this is going to P a few people off. Pretty please don't hate me, i****t's just my A-levels are really important to me and I simply don't have the time anymore to update this like I used to. My last exam is on June 17****th**** and I promise I will be back in full-force by the 18****th****. I may be able to stretch to updating once more during this period but I can't promise anything. Massive sorry once again, but I hope you all understand. Thank you for your continuing support, as ever, it means the world. **


	44. Chapter 44

_Merlin stood by Gwaine's dead body, crying. He sunk to the ground, his tears falling to the earth which was already saturated with his best friend's blood, but the ruby-coloured liquid kept pouring from his body. It rose and rose until it reached the young man's neck yet he did not move. He was going to sit still and drown in Gwaine's blood because he deserved it. The warm, wet blood continued on its journey upwards until Merlin was completely submerged in it yet he did not move. He was going to still and drown in Gwaine's blood because he deserved it. Merlin heard rather than saw the deceased Gwaine sit up. He crawled along the forest floor to Merlin and threw his hands around his neck, strangling him until he could no longer breathe. _

'_You did this to me, Merlin. You killed me!' he growled, shaking Merlin's limp body, yet he did not move. He was going to sit still and drown in Gwaine's blood because he deserved it. He deserved it._

'How is he, Gaius?'

Merlin opened his eyes, resurfacing from his nightmare to hear Arthur talking to the physician. He wanted to sit up so he could look through the crack in his slightly open bedroom door but he didn't have the strength.

'Not good, Sire. He sleeps but I'm afraid he is experiencing dreadful nightmares. He screams Gwaine's name over and over…' Gaius trailed off.

'Can't you give him something? Like the potions you give Morgana?' the prince enquired, sounding genuinely concerned. On any other day, Merlin would have mocked him for revealing that he actually cared, but not today. Merlin just wanted to slip back into his nightmare for that's where he deserved to be. He wasn't worthy of anybody's care or pity, he deserved to suffer.

'I tried,' Gaius admitted, 'but he won't take anything. He won't eat or drink. Sire, I fear he is going to make himself ill.' If possible, Merlin began to hate himself just that little bit more for causing Gaius to worry about him.

'Let me talk to him?' Arthur requested.

'Sire, I don't think…' But Gaius' protests were too late; Arthur had already begun striding across the room to the few steps that led up to Merlin's bedroom. Merlin debated closing his eyes again so he appeared asleep. In fact, he wasn't sure what stopped him but, instead, he watched as the prince cautiously opened the door a bit wider and slowly walked over to him.

'Merlin,' he said, crouching down beside the bed to reach his level. Merlin wished he wouldn't; Arthur was better than that. He shouldn't have to lower himself to a servant's level, especially not Merlin, not after what he'd done. 'How are you?' he asked, closing his eyes and scrunching up his face like he immediately regretted the question. 'Sorry, that was a stupid question,' he muttered, shaking his head like it would wipe the question away.

'Where's Gwaine?' Merlin managed to croak out, suddenly realising that he'd allowed Arthur to drag him away from his friend's body at some point during the night.

'My men buried the body last night,' Arthur informed him. Although he was clearly trying to be gentle, Merlin felt infuriated. _The body!_ Gwaine wasn't a 'the', he wasn't an object! Gwaine was a person, a human being, he was… well… Gwaine was Gwaine! He didn't get a chance to shout about this though as Arthur continued talking. 'I could come with you, if you'd like, to say goodbye to him,' he offered hesitantly. The prince reached out as if to touch Merlin's arm but then retracted his hand like he'd thought better of it. Merlin understood why; Arthur was used to Morgana being upset, he knew how to handle her, but a man breaking down in front of him was a new concept to the prince and Merlin guessed that he had no idea what to do.

Arthur stared at him and Merlin realised he was waiting for an answer. He just wanted to be left alone but Arthur really was trying so hard to be nice to him so he found himself nodding.

'Okay,' Arthur sighed. Merlin got the distinct feeling that Arthur was wishing he'd never offered. 'Come on then,' he said, standing up.

'Now?' Merlin asked. He got the even more distinct feeling that he regretted agreeing.

'Yes, now. It'll do you good,' Arthur explained. Merlin felt like scoffing. The only thing that would do him good was for Arthur to run him through with his sword, right where he lay. A life for a life. When Merlin didn't move, Arthur marched forward and put his strong hands under Merlin's arms, lifting him out of the bed. He wriggled out of Arthur's grasp in shock. _What on earth was he playing at?_ He was the prince! He didn't go around lifting servants out of their beds!

'Merlin, I really do want to help you, but there's only so much I can do if you won't help yourself,' Arthur pointed out, standing with his hands on his hips. He really did seem quite feminine when he did that. But that was beside the point, when did he get so… deep?

'You'll feel better after you've said goodbye,' Gaius stated, coming to stand in the doorway. He'd seen what Arthur had just done and Merlin could tell he was trying his hardest not to look amused.

Merlin groaned but allowed Arthur to lead him from the room, dreading what was about to happen. What was he supposed to do? What was he supposed to say? Saying goodbye seemed like such an innocent thing to do but when he was far from innocent, Merlin felt like it was the wrong thing to do. He owed Gwaine some sort of explanation, an apology, and he couldn't very well do that with Arthur stood next to him. Then again, maybe it was a good thing to keep his guilt bottled away. At least that way, he couldn't possibly get any form of closure, at least that way, he'd suffer. And any suffering he endured was more than justified.

'Arthur; Merlin!' He fell out of his thoughts and back to reality so see Morgana rushing down the castle steps towards them. Morgana. He looked to her, trying desperately to find some of the love he knew he felt for her deep down, but he couldn't. Whether it had vanished or he simply felt too much guilt and grief to feel anything else, he could not find his feelings for her. Not when it was her fault too. In fact, forget the too, it was her fault.

He gasped, realising that somewhere during his train of thought he'd stopped breathing. Yes. If she hadn't gotten involved with Morgause in the first place, none of this would have happened. If it wasn't for her, Gwaine would still be alive. No. He couldn't think like that. She never intended for anything bad to happen, it was an accident. If anything, she'd tried to save Gwaine. So the blame rested solely on him once more.

'Merlin?' she asked, more softly, reaching out to lay a hand comfortingly on his arm. 'I'm sorry,' she whispered. To Arthur, it would have looked like she was simply apologising for Merlin's loss, but Merlin knew it meant much more than that. And for the second time within twenty-four hours, Merlin began to cry.

**A/N … Right, I said I'd try and get one more chapter done before my exams start and here it is. I have to admit, I was sort of trying to ****revise biology at the same time (for anyone asking, no, it didn't work) so I apologise for any mistakes and the general crapiness of the chapter. No more now until the 18****th**** of June at the earliest, so er, wish me luck and maybe review? Cheers my lovelies! **


	45. Chapter 45

'Merlin,' Arthur muttered gently, placing his hand on Merlin's right shoulder. Merlin knew what he was doing; the prince may have let Merlin collapse into his arms last night but he wasn't about to let that happen again. He cared for Merlin, yes. He was his friend but, first and foremost, he was the Prince of Camelot and he couldn't be seen comforting his_ servant_ in such an intimate manner in public. He was trying to comfort Merlin, but in more of an 'Arthur-ish' way.

'Merlin?' he heard Morgana repeat in more of a questioning tone. Merlin began to tremble. He didn't want their pity, he didn't deserve it. He blinked his tears away fiercely, avoiding eye contact with Morgana. He couldn't look at her, not yet, for he knew he'd see the same thing in her eyes that was in his: hurt, anger, guilt. _Guilt._ He couldn't bear that.

'Come on,' Arthur instructed, diverting Merlin away from Morgana. Arthur led him back down to the forest but Morgana followed; Merlin wished she wouldn't. The trio came to a stop at the very spot where Gwaine had breathed his last; there was blood on the ground, Gwaine's blood. It made Merlin's breath catch in his throat. Why had they buried him _here_? Didn't he deserve a proper burial?

'Leave me,' he whispered. He needed to be alone.

'But-' Arthur protested. It was evident in his face that he didn't think Merlin was in any fit state to be left alone at the moment.

'Please?' Merlin begged, turning to face him. It was then that Merlin noticed how awful Arthur looked. His face was pale, his eyes red-rimmed with dark grey bags underneath them. 'You haven't slept,' Merlin noted.

'I was busy,' he shrugged, taking a step back to leave like Merlin had wanted. Merlin's brow knotted; why was Arthur busy in the night? The only explanation the prince offered was to jerk his head in the direction of the freshly dug and replaced earth at Merlin's feet. _Oh. _He understood. Arthur had buried the body himself. He shouldn't have, he had no right to, but Merlin felt a surge of love for Arthur at that moment. He didn't have to bury Gwaine himself, but he did, and he'd done it for Merlin. He tried to offer his thanks but only managed a small nod of appreciation. It was alright; Arthur understood and gave the ground a quick nod of respect before leaving.

That left Merlin alone with Morgana. He looked pointedly at her.

'Me too?' she asked, her face betraying confusion. The young warlock opened his mouth to say 'yes' but he couldn't. He gulped and settled for nodding. She moved her gaze to the floor, looking a little hurt, but she didn't object to his request. Merlin turned back to back to the mound of earth, waiting until he heard Morgana leave before sinking to the ground.

'I'm sorry,' he murmured, ignoring the fresh tears that rolled down his tired face. 'You didn't deserve this, any of it. This should never have happened to you,' he growled, clutching balls of earth in his clenched fists. He couldn't help the ripples of anger that flowed through his body. The injustice of it all was disgusting, Merlin's fault or not. Merlin's fault. His fault. His fault alone.

He noticed that there was no stone over Gwaine's grave, no recognition other than the freshly turned earth that his body was laying underneath it. Without bothering to check if anyone was around, Merlin's eyes burned bright gold and a single white rose appeared on the forest floor in front of him. He bent down to pick it up and placed it over Gwaine's grave. He closed his eyes and bowed his head as a mark of respect for his deceased friend.

Grief consumed Merlin once more and he sat in front of Gwaine's grave allowing his sobs to rock his entire body. Sobs gave way to crying, crying gave way to howls and Merlin wasn't sure how long he sat there like that but he emerged from his dark and miserable world to feel someone's arm slip around his waist.

'Morgana,' he sighed, beginning to lean into her, but before he could think about what he was doing, his body wrenched itself away from her touch. He landed with his front on the floor but he didn't bother to pick himself up. He didn't want to turn around and see the pain he knew would be swimming in her blue eyes. The worst part was he couldn't even explain to himself why he'd done it.

'Merlin,' she tried again, if a little tentatively. Merlin gritted his teeth in anger. Why was he behaving like this? He was scaring her yet she was still trying to reach out to him.

'I thought I asked you to leave,' he managed to splutter out, his voice sounding strangled. He bit down on his lower lip; why did he sound so harsh and cold? He didn't mean to.

'I couldn't leave you alone,' she explained quietly. 'And besides, who are you to boss the Lady of Camelot around?' she asked, the attempted humour lost on him. Deep down, he appreciated her attempt to cheer up, but he wasn't sure he was going to be able to show it. He forced himself to turn around and look at her. She had her hand held out in front of her, clearly waiting for him to take it. He picked himself up slightly and crawled forward, reaching out his own hand but, the minute they made contact, he retracted his hand faster than if he'd touched a hot branding iron. Hurt flashed across her face once more and it tugged at his heart. _Why_ was he doing _this_?!

He lifted his eyes to meet hers once more just in time to see realisation sweep through them before being replaced with pain once more, but stronger this time.

'You blame me, don't you?' she asked, clutching her chest as though he'd hit her. She gulped and nodded, as though confirming her own fears. 'You do,' she breathed. 'You think this is my fault.' It wasn't a question anymore, not even an accusation. It was a statement. Merlin watched but said nothing as tears sprung from her eyes, falling down her beautiful face and staining her neck and chest. _No, Merlin! You don't think it's her fault. Tell her you don't think it's her fault!_ He tried, he really tried to get his words out but they refused to comply with him.

'I-' he stuttered, shaking his head when his words betrayed him. But it wasn't good enough for her. She slowly took back her hand which was still held out to him and stood up. She shot him one last look of disbelief before running from him. He should have called after her but, instead, he watched her go. He closed his eyes and threw his head into his hands, despaired. What was he doing? It wasn't her fault, not really; he knew that.

If he kept pushing people away, he'd have nobody left. He'd lied to Gwaine and now Gwaine was dead. He'd barely seen or talked to Gaius properly in days. He'd asked Arthur to leave him and now he'd hurt Morgana, the one person who truly understood everything. He could've have kicked himself for being so stupid. He'd let his grief get in the way of everything that was important to him.

'Help me, Gwaine,' he beseeched, wringing his hands in his hair in exasperation. 'I know I don't deserve it, but please, help me. What would you do?' he questioned, not expecting an answer. He didn't get one, not a verbal one, but suddenly he just knew what do. Gwaine was strong and he never gave up. If Merlin wanted Morgana that much, he was going to have to go and get her.

Not just that. He was going to have to get a grip. It wasn't his destiny to sit around moping like a lost child. He had to apologise to Morgana and then continue his daily life of putting up with Arthur's jibes and ungratefulness in order for Arthur to become the greatest king Albion had ever seen. With a rushed 'thank you' and another apology in the direction of Gwaine's buried body, Merlin scrambled to his feet and streaked through the forest, back in the direction of the castle, wiping the dried fears from his face as he ran.

**A/N …**** Hello everyone! The dreadful A-levels have finished and I promised you a chapter on the 18****th****, so here it is! I apologise if it's not up to scratch. I haven't slept properly in a month and I truly am shattered (stupid exams). I doubt there's going to be many more chapters but, I was thinking, if anyone has any requests about what they'd like me to write next, please feel free to tell me and I'll try my best! (Doesn't have to be Merlin by the way) My way of a thank you for being so lovely and reading/reviewing/following/favouriting… Let me know! **


	46. Chapter 46

He skidded to a halt outside Morgana's chambers unsure of what to say when he went in. More than that, he was unsure of what he'd find. He had upset her, after all. And what if Gwen was in there? Or Arthur? He needed an excuse to see her. He clenched his fists, staring at the floor and allowed a strange hiss noise to escape his mouth. For all the sneaking about he seemed to do, he wasn't becoming any clever for it. Typical! Oh he'd think of something…

He took a deep breath and scrunched his eyes tight before knocking on the door. He held his breath hoping it would be Morgana who answered and nobody else. He hadn't really bargained on there being no answer. He waited a minute or two but inside the room remained silent. He knew he shouldn't, but he did it anyway; cautiously he pushed open the door and slipped inside to find Morgana sat, with her back to him, in the large bay windowsill.

He coughed, trying to subtly announce his entrance.

'I don't remember inviting you in,' Morgana muttered coldly, keeping her back to him. He couldn't help but admire the way her dark hair fell down her back; smooth, shiny, wavy, like a black river.

'Morgana, I'm so sorry,' he breathed, not even expecting her to hear him, but she did. The young woman turned around so he could see her face. He gritted his teeth inside his closed mouth at what he saw. She'd been crying, that much was evident. Her white face was stained with the lines of what must have been hundreds of tears and her eyes were red, bloodshot. He couldn't stop two tears running down his own face; he'd done that to her and it felt like a knife through his heart.

'Are you?' she asked sceptically.

'Of course I am,' he insisted. 'I don't blame you, not one little bit. None of this was your fault, Morgana. I know that now.'

'Now?' she repeated, dropping to the floor so she was stood up. She was tall, but even at full height she was slightly shorter than Merlin. He wanted to move closer to her, hold her hand, kiss her even, but he thought better of it. She was angry and she knew the last thing she'd want was for him to move any closer to her. 'You shouldn't have needed to work that out, Merlin! You should have already known!' she screeched, fresh tears marking her face.

'I know, I know. But I was grieving, I was confused…' He shook his head; he couldn't use that excuse, it wasn't fair.

'You know me better than anyone,' she hissed, moving forwards, 'you claim to love me. How could you think that of me? I was just as upset as you. Did you not think that I needed you too?' _What? _

'Morgana, he was my best friend!' Merlin protested loudly, throwing his hands towards the ceiling. 'And he's dead! You didn't care about him, you didn't even like him!'

'That's not what I meant,' she whispered, shaking her head and walking away from him once more, back to the window. Merlin breathed heavily, trying to calm himself. He'd come here to apologise to Morgana, not start a fight with her; the least he could do was listen to her.

'I'm sorry,' he told her again, moving to stand next to her. He placed his hands on the window in front of him and stared at the castle grounds below, being careful not to touch Morgana as he did so. 'Talk to me?' he requested finally, looking her in the eyes.

'I feel like everything's tearing apart at the seams,' she mumbled. Merlin looked away from her; he knew how she felt.

'Merlin, I've never been so scared,' she admitted quietly, biting her lip. 'If Morgause had taken me… If I'd let her back in,' she corrected herself, 'I'd never have come back, I just know it. And goodness knows what would have happened, what I'd have done…' she trailed off. And Merlin understood. Whether he liked it or not, there was an evil streak in Morgana – maybe evil was the wrong word. She was like a child, easily misguided into doing the wrong thing, scared, vulnerable, and ignorant. Innocent.

Gently, he placed his hands either side of her face and put his forehead to hers.

'I wouldn't have let that happen,' he murmured softly. 'I will never let that happen,' he promised.

'How can you promise that?' she asked, mimicking Merlin's gesture and placing her own small, cold hands on his face. He swallowed, wishing she'd have asked anything but that. Truthfully, he knew he had no way of ultimately stopping her should she choose that path for herself, but he was damned if he wouldn't try his hardest to help her. Morgause would come back for her, Merlin knew that. He wasn't stupid. And when she did, they'd need to be ready to fight her. They had to try at least. But, for now, his main focus was to look after Morgana, make her feel safe and happy again.

'Just trust me. Can you do that, Morgana? Can you trust me?' he asked, holding her gaze intensely. He got a little bit worried when she dropped her own gaze to the floor, but he could almost hear the cogs turning inside her head. Eventually she looked up at him once again.

'I can do that,' she breathed, almost too quietly for him to hear. He felt the corners of his mouth lift slightly into a smile, a smile that she matched. She reached up and softly touched his lips with hers, the pair of them still smiling. It wasn't a strong, passionate, intense kiss, but it didn't need to be. She pulled away and faced the window. He stood behind her and placed his arms around her waist and Morgana held his hands and leaned back into him, her head resting on his chest.

'Everything's going to be alright,' he told her. 'Me and you, we're going to get through this and we're going to be fine.' She didn't reply, simply gave his hand a small squeeze instead.

XXX

'Merlin. Are you alright?'

The young man looked up from his plate of meat and potatoes to find Gaius watching him from across their small wooden table curiously.

'What? I'm hungry.' Gaius simply raised his eyebrow. 'Oh.' He hadn't meant that. Merlin sighed and pushed his plate away. 'I will be,' he replied. 'Gwaine was a good friend and he didn't deserve to get tangled up in everything. He didn't deserve to die like that. But I can't change it now, Gaius; it's too late.' Gaius nodded slowly.

'And Morgana?' he enquired.

'She's okay,' Merlin answered.

'What happened?'

'You know what happened,' Merlin told him sullenly.

'No, I know what Arthur told me, and that was very little,' Gaius corrected.

'It doesn't matter now,' Merlin decided, not quite meeting his eyes. Gaius had been like a father to Merlin, for which he was more than grateful, but there were some things he was better off not knowing, for now at least.

XXX

'Ah! Afternoon, Merlin,' Arthur greeted him as Merlin walked into his room. Merlin needed things to get back to normal, and what could be more normal than running around after the Prince and receiving no thanks but insults for it? Arthur put his quill and parchment down and sat back in his chair, studying Merlin. The servant looked around the room – it was a tip! Honestly, he left him for what, a day or two?

Arthur looked at him intently, as though trying to see through his skull and into his brain.

'How are you feeling?' he asked.

'Better, thank you,' Merlin told him. Arthur smiled at him before quickly wiping it from his face.

'Will you be coming back to work now then?' Merlin nodded, trying to visibly not to wince at the torrent of orders he knew was about to be thrown at him. 'Good! In that case, my room could do with a quick tidy-'

'Quick?' Merlin spluttered, interrupting.

'Arthur raised his eyebrows but continued. 'My armour needs a polish, I have at least half a dozen messages for you to run and a small pile of dirty washing over there.' He pointed at the 'small' pile at the foot of his un-made bed. They clearly had different ideas of small.

'Anything else?' Merlin asked, trying to keep the sarcasm out of his voice.

'Oh and I'm starving!' Arthur stated, before Merlin had even finished his question. Of course he was.

'Right. I'll go and get your supper then,' Merlin said, picking up the pile of washing and leaving the room with it. On his way to the kitchens, he passed Morgana and Gwen in the corridor. Gwen merely smiled at him, a look of pity washing over her features. No, pity wasn't what Merlin needed, not when he was trying to get back to normal. He stole a quick glance at the Lady of Camelot who gave him a different sort of smile, one that made him respond with a subtle wink before continuing on his way.

He chuckled to himself. _Normal!_ Like that was ever going to happen…

The End.

**A/N … I know I promised 50 chapters but I really just felt like I'd reached the end with this story. I hope you're okay with it. If you hate it, I'm really sorry, but that's the best I've got. I know I've thanked you all on various occasions but I really would just like to say a final thank you to my best friend, Kim, for her unconditional support for this story.**** It was her who encouraged me to write it in the first place and she's been there ever since encouraging me to continue, helping me when I've felt like giving up, pointing out the good bits and helping me with the bad bits. Nobody could wish for a better best friend. Like I said in the previous chapter, if anyone has any ideas or requests for what I could write next, please, please tell me and I promise I'll try. All that's left for me to do is beg for reviews…**


End file.
